Dealing with narcissists can feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending soap opera—where you’re always the sidekick, and the narcissist is the star, hogging all the limelight. Whether it’s at work, in friendships, or in romantic relationships, narcissists have a knack for making everything revolve around them. Their world revolves around their own needs, and if you’re not careful, you can end up in a spiral of chaos that seems impossible to escape.
In this article, we’ll delve into the frustrating habits of narcissists, offer practical tips on how to deal with them, and add a few coping anecdotes to make the journey less painful. If you find yourself caught in their tangled web, keep reading. This guide will help you not only survive but thrive when dealing with narcissists.
- The World Revolves Around Them
Narcissists have a superpower: making every conversation revolve around themselves. Whether you’re sharing a story about your day or talking about your own struggles, they’ll find a way to include their own experiences or refocus on their favorite topic—themselves.
Tip: Be assertive in the spotlight
The next time you’re trying to get a word in, be assertive. Politely but firmly redirect the conversation back to your topic of interest. For example: “I understand, but I was actually talking about something that happened to me. I’d like to know your opinion on it.” It’s all about keeping the conversation balanced.
- They Love to Play the Victim
Despite their inflated sense of self, narcissists have an uncanny ability to portray themselves as perpetual victims. If something goes wrong, it’s never their fault—someone else is always to blame.
Tip: Detect the Drama
Don’t fall for their manipulation. If they’re trying to turn a situation into a personal sob story, calmly remind them of the facts. For example: “I understand that you’re upset, but let’s focus on what happened and how we can fix it, instead of playing the blame game.”
Related : Narcissist Behavior: 5 Signs They’re Out of Control
- Manipulation: Making You Question Your Reality
One of the most annoying tactics narcissists use is manipulation. This is when they twist your words, distort the truth, or completely deny what happened, making you doubt your memory or perception.
Tip: Trust Your Instincts
When you feel like something isn’t right, trust that feeling. If they deny something you remember clearly, stand your ground gently but firmly. For example: “I’m sure that’s not what happened. I remember this conversation vividly, and here’s why.” Keep evidence if you can — text messages, emails, anything that supports your point of view.
- They Thrive on Attention (and Will Do Anything for It)
Narcissists need constant attention and admiration to feel validated. If they don’t get the attention they crave, they’ll create drama to get it back.
Tip: Don’t Feed Their Ego
Narcissists will seek out compliments, praise, and attention at every turn. Resist the urge to inflate their ego, and don’t give in to their need for constant validation. For example: If they say, “I’m a great leader, don’t you think?” instead of saying, “Absolutely!” Offer a more neutral response, such as “You certainly have leadership skills, but I think there’s room for improvement.”
- They love starting arguments for no reason
Have you ever had a simple conversation turn into a full-blown argument? Narcissists are experts at turning something simple into a huge confrontation. They may choose to fight for fun, just to keep the chaos alive.
Tip: Walk away
When you realize that the discussion isn’t going anywhere, don’t engage. Politely excuse yourself from the conversation. For example: “I see we’re not making any progress on this. I’m going to step away now. We can discuss it later if necessary.” This leaves them no room to continue the drama.
- They’re Masters at Diverting
When narcissists are confronted with their own shortcomings or mistakes, they will do their best to shift the conversation to someone or something else. It’s a classic avoidance tactic.
Tip: Stay on topic
When they try to divert attention, stay on track. If the conversation is about their behavior, make sure to focus on their actions. For example: “I understand that others may have contributed, but right now, we’re talking about what I did. Let’s focus on that.”
Related : 10 Different Types of Narcissistic Mothers Explained
- They Want Control (and They’ll Take It)
Narcissists often want to control situations, people, and even your emotions. If they can manipulate you into doing what they want, they’ll feel more powerful and in control.
Tip: Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Be clear about your personal boundaries and make sure they know where you stand. Example: “I’m happy to help, but I won’t be able to help with this request if it goes against my values.” The more assertive you are about your boundaries, the less likely they are to try to push them.
- They Don’t Understand Empathy
Empathy? What is it? Narcissists struggle to understand and show empathy. They are so immersed in their own world that they rarely notice or care about the feelings of others.
Tip: Don’t Take It Personally
If a narcissist seems indifferent to your struggles or feelings, remind yourself that this isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s a symptom of their inability to empathize. For example: “I know you may not understand how I feel right now, but I need some space to process this.”
- Their Successes Are Bigger Than Yours
Narcissists always think that their accomplishments are more important, more impressive, and more significant than anyone else’s. If you accomplish something, don’t expect them to cheer you on.
Tip: Celebrate Yourself Anyway
Don’t let their lack of support discourage you. Celebrate your accomplishments, even if they downplay them. For example: “I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, and I feel good. I’m excited for what’s next!”
- They’ll Borrow Your Ideas (and Take Credit)
Have you ever had an amazing idea, only for a narcissist to sneak in and take credit? Narcissists love to take credit for other people’s work because it makes them seem superior.
Tip: Talk about yourself
If someone else tries to take credit for your work, politely but firmly point it out. Example: “Actually, I came up with that idea during the meeting last week. Let’s make sure we give credit where credit is due.”
- They’re Masters of Flattery…Skillfully
At first, narcissists will shower you with compliments, making you feel special. But don’t be fooled—these are often just a tactic to lure you into their fold.
Tip: Be wary of compliments
If their compliments seem over-the-top or insincere, take a step back. They may just be flirting with you to get something in return. For example: “Thank you for the compliments, but I’d rather keep it honest between us.”
- They Play the “Outsmart” Game
Narcissists love to outsmart everyone else. If you share a story with them, they’ll respond with a bigger, better, or more dramatic story. It’s a competition they always win in their minds.
Tip: Keep it Light
When they’re playing the “outsmart” game, don’t feel pressured to compete. Just smile and let them have their moment. Example: “Oh my gosh, that’s an incredible story! My story isn’t exactly exciting, but I’m glad you shared yours.”
- They Don’t Like Being Told “No”
Narcissists expect to get what they want, and when someone dares to say “no,” they may react as if it’s the end of the world.
Tip: Stay Calm and Consistent
When you have to say no, do it without apologizing. Example: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. Let’s find another solution that works for both of us.” They may not like it, but it’s important to stick to your guns.
- They’re Always Looking for a Power Struggle
Narcissists will constantly seek to establish dominance in a relationship or situation. They thrive on power and control.
Tip: Don’t Engage in Power Play
Acknowledge when they’re trying to assert dominance and avoid engaging in their power games. Example: “I’m not interested in competing with you. Let’s focus on getting things done together.”
- They’ll Hold a Grudge
Narcissists don’t forgive easily. If you’ve wronged them (even unintentionally), expect them to hold a grudge and bring it up at every opportunity.
Tip: Let It Go
You can’t change their need to hold onto grudges, but you shouldn’t let it affect you. Example: “I apologized and moved on. If you’re still upset, I hope we can find a way to let it go.”
Bottom Line: Don’t Let Them Steal Your Peace
Dealing with narcissists can be stressful, but you shouldn’t let their habits control your life. By setting clear boundaries, maintaining trust, and protecting your emotional well-being, you can minimize the impact of the drama and chaos this person causes. Remember, your peace of mind is priceless. Be true to yourself, and don’t let anyone take away your sense of peace.
So, the next time you find yourself involved with a narcissist, take a deep breath, remember these tips, and approach the situation with confidence. You can do it!
