When dating, especially if you have a history of narcissistic abuse, it is very important to be aware of narcissistic tendencies.
Anyone who “likes bombs” beware. ‘Love throwers’ have narcissistic tendencies to lavish copious amounts of compliments and attention and use excessive bonding techniques with a new potential love partner.
Narcissistic individuals frantically need a narcissistic supply if they are low on sources, or if they have ignored previous sources, and need to secure a new narcissistic supply as soon as possible. It is also common for narcissistic individuals to quickly become attached to a new love partner as a vindictive motive and to get revenge on an ex.
When ‘love bombed’, the narcissistic narcissistic personality will want to know everything there is to know about you. Fun, this may sound like a “genuine interest.” The narcissist simply discovers all there is to know as valuable information about how he hooked you, my access from you, and further down the path—when devaluation and disregard occur after initial assimilation—distorts you.
The narcissistic personality will figure out what you like, how to appeal to you, what flattery will work and how to gain your trust very quickly. The narcissistic tendency is to present your “soul mate” with telling you why he or she feels connected to you, why you are so “special” and “different” from other people. The narcissist knows that these tactics work brilliantly–and will make you believe that life has finally provided you with the perfect partner–the one you’ve always been waiting for.
Once the narcissist blends in with you – you will get a lot of attention. That means long, poetic text messages, cards, and other gifts. A sarcastic individual feels ‘high’ from his newly acquired source of narcissistic supply and may initially idealize you to absurd extremes.
It is extremely important to understand that healthy adults do not date and hook up as quickly as narcissistic individuals do. Healthy adults take time to check out potential partners, knowing that love relationships are important decisions that affect people’s lives and hearts. Love addicts, adherents, and narcissists tend to treat relationships as idealized, immature versions of love.
Other tell-tale signs of narcissistic individuals include grandiose demeanor and claims about accomplishments and abilities, a need to be the center of attention, ‘getting better’ statements, him always doing something better, and a lack of humility in his or her life. Also watch out for not wanting to give you time away from the relationship to pursue your friendships and interests, and talking about joint plans for the future way too quickly.
