Q: I believe my son’s wife of 12 years has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She has always claimed to have bipolar disorder, but has never received medical treatment. But I have always suspected that she has some sort of personality disorder. I have done a lot of research on Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the past couple of weeks, and she has almost all the symptoms.
There are many reasons I have given my son for leaving her… but he keeps coming back. He is a kind, intelligent, loving man. At this point I have put him in a situation that will change his life and the lives of his three children. I won’t go into details, but I fear for him and his children’s happiness.
Related : Having an Affair With a Married Narcissist
My son has opened up to her and shared some of his concerns and their marriage, but as soon as she saw him getting close to his family, she turned away from him with his narcissistic lies and manipulation.
The word narcissism has come up, but there has been no serious response from him. My heart breaks. My question is – should I come out and share my concerns and give him information about narcissism?
I feel it is my duty as a mother to make him realize that this may be what is wrong with her. I don’t want to throw him out – but if he goes along with her latest plan, I may never see him again.
A: If you are (and it sounds like you are) a kind, supportive mother who has her son’s best interests in mind – you will see him again. Where did she get the “I’m bipolar” idea? Has she been diagnosed in the past?
There are many similarities between personality disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and both can have “comorbid” bipolar symptoms, meaning they exist together. You could easily be a narcissist with bipolar symptoms or have bipolar disorder with narcissistic traits.
Only a clinical mental health professional can diagnose these disorders. As a concerned mother, it is your right to provide some articles on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder for your son to read.
I wouldn’t put it in the form of, “This might be what’s wrong with you,” but rather, “I was reading these articles and they seemed to really describe (wife’s name).”
Related : Do Narcissists Cry?
Because I care about you and your children, I made copies for you and I hope you’ll read them.” If he asks for more information after reading them, direct him to websites, books, or articles that you found helpful.
If he doesn’t read them or doesn’t respond after you give him the information, there’s nothing else you can do but support him as best you can.
Even if it’s from afar. Remind him that he’s a smart, kind, loving man.
He probably doesn’t hear many of these compliments at home. He needs to know that you love him regardless of his life choices.
