I have been with my beautiful girlfriend for about 4 months. I have nothing bad to say about her or our relationship and I have had a lot of fun, but her behavior lately has been bothering me. We talked about getting more involved with each other’s friends, so I arranged a double date for us and her close friends who are in relationships. It was fun, we all got drunk and went home after dinner. She was drunker than I expected, but she was in good spirits and allowed me to put her to bed. As I was putting her to bed, she sat up roughly, grabbed my wrist, and started telling me how much she loved me. I appreciated the sentiment but since we had never exchanged those words before, I didn’t want the memory of her with her eyes closed and slurring her words. I responded and told her that was sweet, but she should tell me again when she was sober. Fast forward to the next morning, when she wakes up with a massive hangover from the booze, seemingly seething with silent anger, and then leaves my house. We haven’t spoken since (it’s been almost 5 days), although I’ve tried to reach out and lighten the mood or just talk to her in general. I think she’s feeling bad about me not reciprocating, but I don’t know how to salvage this situation! She’s a great girl and I don’t want to lose her. – Anonymous
Hi,
You seem to have a good one on your hands – and let’s be honest, after four months, that drunken declaration probably meant a lot to her. But hangovers and high emotions don’t always mix, and sometimes, even the best intentions can get blurred in the morning light.
That’s the thing about love: it’s messy, unpredictable, and rarely perfectly timed. You want that special moment when you say “I love you” to be one to remember, and I get that. But love doesn’t always wait for the perfect environment or sober state of mind. Sometimes, it just explodes when you least expect it – fueled by a few overdoses!
Your girlfriend might be feeling a mix of things right now: embarrassed by her drunken confession, hurt that you didn’t reciprocate right away, and maybe even a little foolish for putting herself in this situation. But don’t give in to her just yet.
Here’s what I would do:
Give her space: Let her cool down for a day or two. Sometimes, a little distance and time can help clear the air.
Reach out (again): Send her a sweet, non-annoying text. Acknowledge that you were surprised, but that you appreciate her feelings and want to talk about them when you’re feeling better.
Speak up: When you reach out again, be honest and vulnerable. Explain why you reacted the way you did, and that you’re not trying to dismiss her feelings. Tell her that you care deeply about her and that you’re excited to see where this relationship goes.
Don’t pressure her (or yourself): If she’s not ready to say “I love you” back, and you don’t feel ready either, that’s okay! Love isn’t a race. Let it unfold naturally.
Remember, relationships are a dance, and sometimes we just step into each other’s shoes. But with a little communication, understanding, and a little humor, you can get back in tune.
And who knows, maybe your next “I love you” will be whispered over a romantic dinner, or shouted from the top of a mountain. But even if you mumble it over coffee with your head up, it will still be special, because it will be real.
