It is a difficult journey of anxiety, longing and acceptance for a narcissistic child.
There is intense emotional pain. Hope desires more from the abandoned narcissist. And ultimately, the harsh acceptance and reality of narcissistic personality disorder.
The narcissist is a parent who suffers from a harmful and fundamental deficit.
A lack of critical empathy means that the narcissist will always choose themselves over their child. This is abnormal for an adult to understand and difficult for a child who wants to believe that his or her parents think they hung the moon.
If the average person cannot recognize narcissistic personality disorder, how can a child?
Related: How To Know If An Undiagnosed Personality Disorder Is Ruining Your Relationship
It is charming and deceptive, it is clear and elusive, it is warm and cold.
It’s a confusing contradiction.
It takes years of adult counseling and research to identify narcissistic personality disorder.
This is one of the reasons why narcissists manipulate their children. This is why they are able to use, confuse and abuse their children if they see it as a way to win.
Of course, because a parent is in a position of power, the child does not believe that his or her parent will not have his or her best interests in mind.
But again, the child of a narcissist does not necessarily understand who and what they are dealing with.
No matter their age, whether they are very young, a teenager, or a young adult.
But once they do, as parents, we have a choice.
The clear and present agony of having a narcissist as a parent is an annoying burden. Something that must be addressed because the narcissist’s behavior is abusive and unhealthy. We have to teach our children how to avoid repeating our relationship mistakes.
Especially since the family of origin has a strong influence on our romantic choices. We also need our children to realize that although we ensure they have empathy, they should not repeat the behavior of the narcissistic parent.
It is important to clarify what empathy is.
Empathy is the ability to feel another human being’s pain. We are born with a tendency to feel and then our parents nurture it.
Empathy is a developmental stage that we receive in childhood. We encourage our children to understand the feelings of others. If you don’t share your game, your friend will be sad. Someone got a Boo-boo – that must hurt. Let’s cheer this person up because he looks sad.
Back to the choice we have as parents. My father was an alcoholic. It was devastating in a different way but there are similarities. My children told me they loved their father but didn’t want to be like him.
I did two important things. You made us very aware of our reality. My father’s drinking was not a family secret. We understand the dangers of alcoholism. We have completely internalized unhealthy behavior. Then she told us that our father loves us but is seriously ill.
This illness means that He loved us as much as He was capable of loving anyone. Alcohol will always take precedence over us. The severity of his alcoholism dictated this. He was not present physically, emotionally or financially.
