When you’re dealing with a narcissist, you cycle through intense emotions regularly. Fear, insecurity, dread, sadness, shame, anticipation – these are just some of the familiar feelings you may experience during the day.
Life often seems chaotic and illogical. One moment, they promise you the world and tell you they’ll do anything to make you happy. After that, they act like you’re complete trash, and it’s like you’re the worst person they’ve ever met.
After that, they vacillate between fully committing to the relationship and turning away from a new partner.
Narcissists use manipulation tactics to get what they want, and monkey forking is one method they use to keep their narcissistic supply. But what is this toxic phenomenon, and what signs do you need to know?
What is monkey branching?
Think of how monkeys swing from one branch to another. They move quickly and confidently, their feet never touch the ground, and their eyes laser focus on their next move. However, it is calculated and effective. They do not release one branch until they secure their hand around another branch.
When it comes to humans, branching monkeys always prepare themselves for the next best thing. They have eyes peeled for a new person or relationship even when they seem committed to you. As a result, they swing from tree to tree, jumping on whatever looks exciting next, and their movements are intentional and rehearsed.
The Monkey Diver sets himself up for the perfect exit strategy in case the relationship fails. They never give up on their partner completely. After that, they can’t completely settle down or commit, and no matter how “lovely” they may claim, they still aim to keep their options open.
Of course, many Monkey splitters actively cheat on their partners. They swing freely from tree to tree, not caring about the consequences. Others come close to infidelity, and their actions are disrespectful and manipulative.
Why Branch Monkey Narcissists?
In essence, the narcissistic Monkey offshoot because they get the best of both worlds. They have a committed and loyal partner (you) while still feeling free to explore their other options.
Narcissists are never happy with what they have — at least not for very long. They always want more and more and more. At first, this may seem contradictory, especially if the relationship is new. At first, the supply you give them seems complete (and that’s where the constant love bombing comes into play). But time always reveals their true motives – the more you become attached to them, the more they begin to devalue you.
At the same time, they usually identify at least one person they can recover from if the relationship fails. This provides them with a viable backup plan. This explains why many narcissists move into new relationships so quickly — they’ve already had someone else lined up.
(Temporarily) gratifying an inflated self
Narcissists have exaggerated vanity and an unrealistic sense of entitlement. If they want something, their mind automatically justifies why they deserve to have it.
However, an inflated ego is as fragile as it is big – the moment the narcissist doesn’t get what he wants, he overreacts. This is known as ego threat and is one of the reasons they struggle with emotional regulation.
They justify the monkeys’ branching behavior in response to ego threat. They often assume they deserve better in a relationship, and flirting with another person can temporarily satisfy their insatiable need to feel important and unique.
Maintenance or refueling of narcissistic supply
You already know that narcissists need constant validation and recognition to feel important in their lives. Because they cannot give themselves self-love, they depend on outside sources to provide affection.
The narcissist re-energizes them in many ways: using people, accumulating material goods, achieving a desirable status, obsessing over their appearance, or engaging in compulsive behaviors. They may alternate between these styles frequently.
Many narcissists begin to branch out when they feel the relationship no longer meets their needs. This can happen at any time, but is relatively common after you begin to stand up for yourself or enforce boundaries. It can also happen when you start to experience some of your own successes – they can’t stand you being “better” than them, so they aim to find other ways to refuel them.
