The truth is, that these men often exhibit certain behaviors that give them away. It’s like playing hide and seek, but they’re not as good at hiding as they think they are.
So what are these telltale signs?
Well, in this article, I’m going to reveal 7 common behaviors among men who aren’t being completely honest about what they want. This isn’t to describe all men in the same way, but rather to provide insights to help you manage your interactions more wisely.
Let’s get straight to the point.
1) Deception in Words
One of the main signs that a man isn’t being honest about his intentions is how he uses language.
These men often have a knack for twisting words and distorting conversations. They may be vague, avoid direct questions, or change the subject frequently. This kind of linguistic gymnastics can be a clear sign that they’re not being completely honest about their motives.
The goal here is to keep you off balance, and unsure of where you stand. They’ll make promises, but they’ll be cunning about it, leaving enough room for plausible deniability if they fail to deliver.
But here’s the thing. Communication isn’t just about the words we use, it’s also about consistency and clarity. If someone is sending you mixed signals or constantly leaving you confused, it’s worth taking a step back and reassessing the situation.
As the famous psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The most personal is the most universal.” If you’re feeling uncomfortable about someone’s language and behavior, there’s probably something off.
2) Inconsistencies in their stories
From my own experience, inconsistencies can be a big red flag.
I remember a time when I was getting to know a friend of a friend. Let’s call him Mark. Mark was intelligent, charming, and always had a compelling story to share. But as I got to know him better, I began to notice inconsistencies in his stories.
For example, one time he told a compelling story about a daring adventure he had while traveling through Europe.
But a few weeks later, when he told the same story, the details somehow changed. The locations were different, the timeline wasn’t consistent, and even the outcome of the adventure had changed.
I realized then that these inconsistencies weren’t just lapses in memory; they were a sign that Mark wasn’t being honest about his past.
Always keep in mind that honesty is consistent. If someone’s stories change frequently or the details don’t connect, it’s a sign that they may not be honest about their intentions.
3) They Avoid Showing Vulnerability
Men who aren’t honest and genuine about their intentions often have a hard time showing vulnerability.
They often portray themselves as unbreakable, as if everything is under control all the time. They avoid expressing emotions or discussing any personal struggles they may be dealing with.
Why? Showing vulnerability requires honesty and authenticity, two things they’re uncomfortable with.
Now, this is something I discuss extensively in my book, The Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimal Ego. I delve into how embracing vulnerability is key to living a fulfilling and authentic life, and how it can help us connect with others on a deeper level.
If you find that the man you’re with is constantly projecting an image of perfection, it may be time to question the authenticity of his intentions.
People who are honest about their intentions aren’t afraid to show their flaws and insecurities because they understand that vulnerability isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength.
4) They’re Overly Charming
Charm can be a wonderful thing. It can make you feel good, and it can make you feel special and valuable. But when it’s excessive, it can also be a warning sign.
Psychologists often associate excessive charm with manipulative personalities, especially those with narcissistic or antisocial tendencies. These individuals use their charm to disarm you and distract you from their true intentions.
Think of it this way: charm is a tool, and like any tool, its use can be either constructive or destructive. A truly charming person uses this trait to create positive connections and interactions. However someone who is not honest about their intentions uses charm to control or manipulate others.
So, if you find yourself drawn to someone because of their over-the-top charm, try to take a step back and assess the situation objectively. Is this person just charming, or is he using his charm as a smokescreen to hide his true intentions?
5) He’s a Nice Guy
At first glance, a guy who agrees with everything you say may seem like a dream come true. But here’s the counterintuitive part—it can be a warning sign.
While people need to find common ground and shared values, excessive agreement can be a sign that someone isn’t being genuine. Why? Because it’s almost impossible for two people to agree on absolutely everything.
When someone always agrees with you, it may be because they’re trying to win your approval or avoid conflict, rather than expressing their true thoughts and feelings. This type of behavior can indicate that they’re not being honest about their intentions or who they are.
Don’t be fooled by a guy who never disagrees with you. Disagreement and debate, when done respectfully, are a healthy part of any relationship. They show that both parties are honest and genuine about their views.
As the saying goes, “If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.”
6) They Make Big Promises
Men who aren’t honest and genuine about their intentions tend to make big promises. They promise the moon and the stars, painting a picture of an ideal future, only to fail to deliver on those promises.
They use these big promises as a way to distract you from their true intentions, to make you think they’re invested in your happiness and your future together.
But actions speak louder than words. If they make big promises but don’t follow through with their actions, it’s a clear sign that they’re not being honest about their intentions.
7) They Often Play the Victim
There was a time when I found myself dealing with someone who always seemed like the victim. No matter what happened, it was never their fault.
In every story, the innocent party was the one who was wronged by others. It didn’t take long for them to realize that this constant victimization was a tactic and a way to evade responsibility for their actions and decisions.
This is a common behavior among individuals who are not honest about their intentions. By portraying themselves as the victim, they manipulate the sympathy and empathy of others to serve their ulterior motives.
In life, we all face challenges and setbacks. However acknowledging our role in these situations is a sign of honesty and integrity. Those who constantly evade responsibility and point fingers at others are generally not being honest about their intentions.
Keep your eyes open for such behavior. It can be a clear sign that something is wrong.
8) They Are Secretive About Their Past
Another sign that a man is not being honest about his intentions is if he is overly secretive about his past.
Now, everyone has a right to privacy and no one should feel obligated to share everything about their past right away. However, if you sense that they are intentionally hiding something or avoiding certain topics, it could be a red flag.
This type of evasion may indicate that they’re not being completely honest or transparent about who they are or what they want. It could be that they’re hiding something that might change your perception of them or their motivations.
Trust is based on openness and honesty. If someone is being secretive, it can be difficult to fully trust them and believe in the authenticity of their intentions. So always trust your gut and don’t ignore any feelings of unease or doubt.
Final Thoughts: It’s All About Trust and Authenticity
Understanding human behavior, especially when it comes to men who aren’t honest and authentic about their intentions, can be a complex task. We’ve delved into seven specific behaviors to look out for, but remember that this isn’t a definitive list.
Human interactions are nuanced, and people can exhibit different behaviors based on their personalities and circumstances. The important thing is to trust your instincts and not ignore any red flags.
