Selfishness is often a blind spot.
It’s a way of seeing the world that focuses primarily on one’s own needs, often at the expense of others. The tricky part is that those who are deeply selfish often don’t realize it.
Deeply selfish men tend to exhibit certain behaviors, often without even noticing it. Recognizing these behaviors can be the first step toward growth and change.
In this article, we’ll explore these eight telltale signs—so brace yourself, it’s time for some self-reflection.
1) They Always Put Their Needs First
Selfishness goes hand in hand with prioritizing one’s own needs, often at the expense of others.
Deeply selfish men may not even realize they’re doing this. It’s a deeply ingrained behavior, a kind of autopilot that guides their actions and decisions.
In conversation, they may steer the topic toward themselves. In a group setting, they may make decisions that benefit only themselves without considering the impact on others.
The tricky part is that they often don’t see it as selfishness. To them, it’s just taking care of their own needs. But the impact on others can be quite different.
Recognizing this behavior is an important first step in dealing with deep-seated selfishness.
2) Lack of Empathy
Another common trait of deeply selfish men is a lack of empathy. They often have a hard time putting themselves in someone else’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective.
I remember a good friend of mine, let’s call him John. He was always the life of the party, charming and entertaining. But when it came to understanding other people’s feelings, John struggled.
One day, I was going through a tough time. I had just lost my job and was feeling very down. I decided to open up to John about it, hoping to get some understanding and support.
But John’s response was far from empathetic. He quickly dismissed my concerns, essentially telling me to “get over it” and focus on the positives. To him, my problems were trivial because they didn’t directly affect him.
It was a clear sign of his selfishness: his inability to empathize with what I was going through because it wasn’t about him.
3) Often engages in one-sided conversations
When engaged in a conversation, selfish men often dominate the conversation. They typically talk about their interests, accomplishments, and experiences without giving others a chance to share their thoughts or stories.
Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Personality Research found that people who frequently use the words “I,” “me,” and “mine” are more likely to exhibit traits of narcissism and selfishness. So it’s not always about what they say, but how they say it.
This constant need to be the center of attention can often make others feel unheard and unimportant. Recognizing this behavior can shed light on the level of selfishness one may possess.
4) They have difficulty receiving genuine compliments
One common trait of highly selfish men is that they have difficulty giving and receiving genuine compliments. This stems from their inability to see beyond their own experiences and accomplishments.
When it comes to giving compliments, they may struggle because they are not used to focusing on the accomplishments of others. On the other hand, when they receive a compliment, they may dismiss it or immediately turn the conversation back to themselves.
An inability to engage in a genuine exchange of compliments indicates a selfish mindset. It’s a small but telling sign that their world revolves primarily around themselves.
5) They Have Difficulty Maintaining Meaningful Relationships
Extremely selfish men often have a hard time maintaining deep, meaningful relationships. It’s a sad fact that stems from their constant focus on their own needs and desires.
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Consider a romantic relationship, for example. It thrives on mutual understanding, compassion, and giving—all things that require one to step outside of their world. When one partner constantly puts their own needs first, it creates an imbalance that can strain the relationship.
Friends and family members may also feel the weight of this selfish behavior. Over time, they may distance themselves, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness for the selfish individual.
It’s a vicious cycle—one that can only be broken by recognizing and addressing these selfish behaviors.
6) They Don’t Take Criticism Well
Receiving criticism positively requires a certain level of humility and acceptance that we’re not perfect—something that selfish men often struggle with immensely.
I remember a time when I had to offer some constructive feedback to a coworker. He was always quick to point out other people’s mistakes but rarely acknowledged his own. When I gently pointed out an area where he could improve, he became defensive and argumentative.
In his eyes, he was always right, and anyone who thought otherwise was against him. This was a clear manifestation of his selfish nature, making it difficult for him and others around him to grow and improve.
7) They Rarely Express Gratitude
Expressing gratitude requires acknowledging the efforts and contributions of others, something that selfish men often fail to do. Their focus on their accomplishments can make it difficult for them to see and appreciate the value that others bring to their lives.
For example, they might reject a kind gesture from a friend or fail to appreciate the hard work of a colleague on a joint project.
Not only does this lack of gratitude impact their relationships, but it can also lead to a lack of life satisfaction. After all, recognizing and appreciating the good in others is a key component of happiness and fulfillment.
8) They Avoid Responsibility for Their Actions
Finally, one of the most obvious signs of a deeply selfish man is his inability to take responsibility for his actions. Instead of acknowledging and learning from his mistakes, he often blames others or circumstances to avoid feeling inadequate or flawed.
Not only does this behavior hinder his personal growth, but it can also damage his relationships and reputation in the long run. Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a fundamental aspect of maturity and integrity, and it’s something that selfish individuals often struggle with.
Reflecting on the Journey
As we delve into the world of deeply selfish behaviors, it’s important to remember that no one is immune to them. We all have moments of selfishness, but the key is to acknowledge and grow.
The study of these behaviors is not intended to condemn or judge, but to enlighten and foster understanding. This understanding can be a catalyst for change—not just for those who exhibit these behaviors, but also for those affected by them.
Renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The strange paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change.” This acceptance is pivotal for truly selfish individuals seeking transformation.
By embracing our imperfections, we open the door to growth and improvement. Let’s use this understanding as an opportunity for reflection, compassion, and growth—both individually and collectively.
