We’re all supposed to be looking for Prince Charming, but that charm can be a red flag in disguise. While chivalry and genuine charisma aren’t inherently bad things, a man’s increased charm is a signal for you to pump the brakes and do a 180.
Manipulation is the name of the game here. Manipulators often hide their true intentions behind a charming facade, and they’re so good at it that they deserve an Oscar for their performances.
The difference between charm and manipulation comes down to intent. The true charm is genuine, while manipulation is subtle and deceptive, with selfish motives driving the behavior.
So how do you know?
Men who are charming on the outside but deeply manipulative deep down often exhibit certain behaviors. But these subtle signs are easy to miss, especially if you’re susceptible to their charismatic veneer.
Here are nine behaviors that might indicate your charmer is a charmer for nefarious purposes.
1) Love Is Fading
If a man is over-seducing you too quickly, there’s a good chance he’s over-seducing you. If he’s showering you with endless compliments and overly romantic gestures before you’ve even gotten to know each other, beware.
It may seem appealing at first, but it could be a manipulative tactic designed to build a bond of trust with you so he can exploit it.
2) Flattery and Flirting
We all love to be appreciated and even flattered from time to time. Deceptively charming people have a knack for making you feel like an angel on top of a Christmas tree.
A manipulator’s flattery always, and I mean always, comes with a trick. Compliments are rarely sincere, and even when they are, the end game is to get you where they want you.
There will always be a request for some sort of favor that drives their flirting.
So, if your new charming guy seems too good to be true, he probably is.
3) He’s Overly Charming
Many manipulative men will overdo the charm in an attempt to make you think they’re more trustworthy than they are.
Their well-timed jokes and strategically used old-fashioned charm are meant to make you fall in love with them, so when they become toxic, you’ll be quick to justify their bad behavior.
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A manipulative man will work hard to get you hooked on his charm, making it easier for him to control you and get what he wants.
4) Arrogant Behavior
A manipulator will gladly use charm in the dating game. When a man completely overdoes the nice guy routine, he can likely use his “coolness” against you later.
Because from a manipulative man’s perspective, you owe him for being good to you. And if your spider-sense is going off and you decide to walk away from him, he’ll likely try to guilt you into thinking you’re worthy.
You should consider yourself lucky to have such a prize! Anyway, according to him.
5) Test Boundaries Forever
Boundaries play a crucial role in every relationship. Knowing someone’s boundaries and sticking to them is both respectful and protects our well-being.
But there are also manipulative people. They tend to push the boundaries of others gradually until they cross the line so many times that they disappear completely.
They tend to start with small things, like borrowing something from yours without permission or demanding that you fulfill their plans at the expense of your own.
If a man is always dancing on your boundaries, this is a warning sign. You may want to reconsider having a relationship with this person, no matter how charming he may seem on the outside.
6) He is persistent and persuasive
Manipulators are very persuasive in the role they play. They have to be. Their entire plan depends on it. They have a knack for selling their ideas as the best or only logical solution to a problem.
Now, we all try to exercise our powers of persuasion from time to time. We convince our children to do their homework or our partners to watch a certain movie. It’s part of life.
However, when someone uses their persuasive powers to trick others into doing things that are against their interests, you’re talking about manipulation, not persuasion.
I can think of many times when I agreed to something I didn’t want to do. It wasn’t because the other person convinced me it was the best idea.
No. I just wanted them to stop talking. I knew they wouldn’t stop until I agreed, so I agreed. This type of emotional manipulation is nothing short of bullying.
7) Excellent People-Reading Skills
Manipulators have a better-than-average ability to read others. They pick up on the slightest change in tone of voice or body language and use that information to their advantage.
A manipulative man can sense when you’re feeling vulnerable or confused, and he’ll be there to offer you a shoulder to cry on—all while carefully but deliberately pushing you to do his bidding.
Psychologists call this ability to read emotions the Emotional Intelligence Scale. This is a measure of a person’s ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions, whether their own or those of others.
Emotional intelligence also refers to a person’s ability to empathize and how to influence the emotions of others. It becomes a powerful tool that manipulators use to control others.
They focus on your weaknesses and exploit them. That’s what manipulators do.
8) Guilt
Manipulative men are masters at making people feel guilty, even when they haven’t done anything wrong. It’s a technique they use to control another person’s behavior.
This is called guilt-tripping, a type of psychological manipulation. Creating an imbalance in a relationship is a toxic tactic.
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So, someone might get upset because they didn’t get invited to an event that had nothing to do with them, or they might try to make you feel bad about a completely harmless remark you made.
Don’t worry, they’ll find a problem and deal with it.
The goal is to make you feel like you owe them and encourage them to act in ways that suit their purpose, not yours.
9) He’ll deceive you
Ah, deception. A favorite behavior of all manipulators. This is where the charming man is especially dangerous because he will deliberately make you question your sanity.
A manipulative man will lie outright and double down if you challenge him. You may end up apologizing to him, which is pretty weird, but that’s what effective deception does to a sane person.
It makes you feel like you’re losing your cool.
Not all charming men cheat on women. But for those who do, their charm makes it easy for them to get away with it.
So when a charming man starts to manipulate you, you probably won’t notice at first. But as you watch his every word, you start to question your judgment more and more.
Final Thoughts
Falling into the clutches of a charming but deceitful man can teach you a lot of life lessons all at once, whether you’re ready for it or not.
These manipulative men are so cunning, calculating, and ruthless that you may not realize it right away.
It happens.
But hopefully, knowing these signs of a charming artist will help you avoid a little hell in the future, especially if you’ve been deceived before.
Stay safe out there.
