Sigmund Freud is perhaps best known for his work on dream interpretation and the division of the self into the superego (moral voice), the ego (active personality), and the id (unconscious). However, he wrote on many other topics, including jealousy.
His analysis of jealousy, if not entirely sound, is at least on the right track. He says that jealousy is a complex emotion that can be broken down into the following components:
Grief over loss.
Narcissistic wounding.
Feels hostile toward a successful rival.
Self-criticism is because you hold yourself responsible for your loss to some extent.
Let’s take a closer look at the four conditions. Although Freud refers to this as an analysis of the concept of jealousy, none of the components seem to be necessarily or sufficiently common to cause jealousy.
There is no doubt that jealousy is often associated with grief. But grief over what? In some cases, it may be grief over the loss of your partner to someone else. In other cases, it may be grief over the loss of your partner’s trust or the belief that you “own” the other person. But jealousy can arise even when nothing is lost. Some people feel jealous for no good reason at all. Moving on to the second case, a narcissistic wound is a wound to the ego, a type of emotional pain. This may be a component of grief over loss, when there is a loss, or perhaps grief associated with a potential or impending loss. Can jealousy occur without pain? It probably does. It is not uncommon for someone to alternately feel angry and hurt when they are grieving.
In the third case, hostility toward a successful rival is often not an element of jealousy. There may not be a successful rival, and even if there is, the blame may be directed entirely at the partner and not the rival.
Finally, the fourth case is not necessary, because self-criticism may not occur. There are cases in which you feel responsible for your partner’s alienation and blame as part of your jealousy. But there are many other cases in which you may feel that you have done everything you could to keep the relationship in good condition. In such cases, you may not feel any responsibility at all.
Related : How Narcissists Use Faking to Lure Partners
None of these conditions are necessary for jealousy to occur. This is not surprising. Complex emotions do not lend themselves to logical analysis, because they are psychological states. A psychological state that seems like jealousy to one person may not seem like jealousy to another, and jealousy may be based on one type of psychological state for one person but may have a place in another type of psychological state for another.
Other complex emotions work similarly. Sadness is sometimes said to consist of surprise, denial, anger, grief, bargaining, and acceptance. However, not everyone goes through all of these stages in the healing process. Some people may experience grief in completely different ways. For example, you may simply feel numb.
The four states Freud discussed are not enough together to trigger jealousy either. Some people cite feelings of helplessness and disgust as strong components of jealousy. The mere thought of your partner having sex with someone else may calm you down and make you feel sick and raging. Other people become excited rather than passive and set out on a revenge mission or a mission to get their partner back.
Freud claims that jealousy is not a rational emotion at all. He says that for it to be rational, it must be “under the complete control of the conscious ego.” It is not, because it is based in the subconscious. However, Freud’s interpretation of rationality does not seem to be sound. Beliefs are not under the complete control of the conscious ego. We cannot decide to believe something (in the manner of William James). However, one can certainly have both rational and irrational beliefs. Moreover, a jealous response to a cheating partner seems perfectly rational.
While Freud does not believe that jealousy is completely rational, he does believe that it can be natural, expected, or delusional. Natural jealousy, according to Freud, is competitive. Therefore, it is likely to have a motivational component, which drives you to seek to regain your partner’s attention or to get revenge.
Anticipated jealousy is jealousy that arises from your betrayal or thoughts about betrayal. Because you have these thoughts. You misread signs that aren’t a sign that your partner is cheating, or you mistake innocent signs for signs that someone is trying to seduce your partner. Or: Because of your non-monogamous nature, you may simply become more sensitive to signs of infidelity and discover that your partner is cheating on you or is about to leave you for someone else. Finally, delusional jealousy—a form of pathological jealousy—is a form of paranoia. If you’re jealous because you believe your partner is cheating or will eventually cheat on you, despite no evidence, you’re suffering from delusional jealousy. In persecutory paranoia, a person suffering from delusional jealousy sees signs of betrayal or threats to the relationship everywhere: a partner’s fleeting glance at another man or woman, an accidental touch of another person’s hand, or any form of contact with the opposite sex (or same sex in the case of homosexuals).
