Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where the person you’re talking to is more focused on themselves than on you? If you feel like you’re talking the entire time, or that your thoughts, feelings, or experiences aren’t being heard, you may be dealing with what’s known as conversational narcissism.
But what does it mean to be a conversational narcissist? Simply put, it’s someone who dominates a conversation by making everything about themselves, and showing little interest in what others are saying. It’s a form of narcissism where the focus shifts away from the other person’s thoughts and feelings, making them feel invisible or unheard.
In this article, we’ll go over the five main signs of conversational narcissism. Understanding these signs can help you navigate difficult social situations and maintain healthy, balanced conversations. So, let’s dive in!
- They Constantly Shift the Focus to Themselves
Have you ever shared something personal with someone, only for them to quickly redirect the conversation back to their own life? If so, you’ve come across one of the most obvious traits of a conversational narcissist: a tendency to hog the limelight.
Narcissists love being the center of attention. So, even when you’re talking about something that’s important to you, they’ll find a way to get back to themselves. For example, if you’re talking about a recent vacation, they might interrupt you to talk about their latest exotic trip or how they’re planning their next one. Instead of engaging with your story, they make sure the narrative is about their own experiences.
This constant directing can be exhausting because it’s like they’re saying, “What you’re talking about doesn’t matter as much as what I have to say.”
How to handle this:
If you find this happening a lot, you can politely steer the conversation back to your experience. You can say something like, “I’d love to hear more about your trip, but I wanted to finish talking to you about my trip first.” This sets subtle boundaries while keeping the conversation balanced.
- They Talk Over You (or Constantly Interrupt You)
A conversational narcissist often doesn’t allow you the space to finish your thoughts. They’ll interrupt mid-sentence, finish your sentence for you, or even interrupt you with their own opinions. This behavior is not only disrespectful but also dismissive of your ideas.
When someone constantly talks over you, they are signaling that their words are more important than yours. They may even interrupt you because they feel the need to dominate the conversation or because they believe their input is always superior.
How to Deal With This:
If you’re dealing with someone who interrupts you frequently, be firm but polite in asserting your right to speak. A gentle “I’m not done talking” can help make it clear that you need space to express yourself. If they continue to interrupt, it may be a sign that they simply aren’t interested in hearing your perspective on the conversation.
- They’re Constantly Seeking Validation
Conversational narcissists thrive on validation and admiration from others. When they’re speaking, they’re often looking for compliments or praise, sometimes without even realizing it. They may drop names, brag about their accomplishments, or talk about their skills or achievements in ways that seem designed to impress.
For example, they might say, “I just got back from a huge meeting with a big client — it’s been a really stressful week. But, you know, I’ve been handling it like a pro,” expecting you to acknowledge how great they are.
This behavior can be exhausting because they feel like they’re constantly looking for reassurance that they’re important, impressive, or special.
How to deal with it:
While it’s important to be empathetic and acknowledge people’s accomplishments, if you find this behavior happening regularly, you may want to gently redirect the conversation. “That sounds like a lot! It must be great to work with such important clients. Have you had a chance to relax lately?” This shows interest in their life while gently encouraging a more balanced conversation.
See also: First-Date Red Flags: 9 Ways to Spot a Narcissist Instantly
- They Lack Empathy and Don’t Ask About You
One of the most telling signs of conversational narcissism is their inability to connect with you on an emotional level. When they talk about themselves, they rarely show genuine curiosity or interest in your feelings or experiences.
A narcissistic interlocutor will often ignore what you’re saying and respond in ways that shift the focus back to them. For example, you might share a personal struggle and, instead of offering support or understanding, quickly shift the conversation to their own struggles or experiences that are somehow “worse” than yours.
How to Handle It:
If you notice that the conversation seems one-sided and that you’re always the one providing emotional labor without receiving anything in return, it may be helpful to address this. You can say something like, “I appreciate you telling me about your experience, but I’d like to hear what you think about my situation, too.” This can help restore balance to the conversation, although some narcissists may not be receptive to this.
- They Use Your Conversations as a Platform to Boost Their Ego
For narcissists who love conversation, conversation is not an exchange between two parties but rather a stage for showcasing their expertise or superiority. They often use dialogue as an opportunity to show off how much they know or how important they are. This can manifest itself in subtle (or not-so-subtle) ways, such as dropping names, exaggerating their accomplishments, or belittling others to make themselves seem more impressive.
For example, if you’re discussing a project at work, a narcissist might say, “I’ve been running multi-million dollar campaigns for years. The way you’re handling this project is nice, but here’s the real way to do it…” This move is designed to make you feel inferior while inflating their sense of importance.
How to Handle It:
If you find yourself being belittled or dismissed in conversations like this, it’s important to recognize that this isn’t a reflection of your worth. Respond confidently, but don’t be afraid to set boundaries. You can say, “I see that you have a lot of experience, but I’m sure we can find ways to bring our strengths together,” which redirects the conversation to a more balanced tone.
Conclusion: Why Conversations Matter
Conversations are essential for building relationships and fostering meaningful connections. They allow us to share experiences, express feelings, and learn from each other. However, when a conversation becomes a one-sided exchange where one person dominates the discussion and ignores the thoughts and feelings of others, you may feel frustrated and exhausted.
If you recognize any of these signs of conversational narcissism in your interactions, it’s important to set boundaries and communicate openly. Remember, your voice matters just as much as anyone else’s, and healthy conversation should be built on mutual respect and understanding.
By understanding the behavior of conversational narcissists, you can protect yourself from falling into one-sided discussions while fostering engaging, empathetic dialogues with others. Watch for these signs, and take control of your conversations to ensure they remain fun, balanced, and productive.
Read also: 6 Unexpected Spiritual Lessons From Dealing with a Narcissist
