People with narcissistic traits are found everywhere in life, from the workplace to personal relationships. In recent years, there has been increasing interest in exploring the relationship between narcissism and sexual identity. So, is a narcissist secretly gay? In this article, I will explore the facts behind a narcissist’s sexual preferences.

Understanding narcissism

People with narcissistic personality disorder generally fall into two camps: grandiose narcissism and vulnerable narcissism.

Grandiose Narcissism: Do you know someone who seems to have endless charisma and is the life and soul of the party? At the same time, is your intuition telling you there is something wrong with this person? Enter the grandiose and outspoken narcissist. This form of narcissism revolves around an apparent inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a not-so-subtle lack of empathy.

People with overt narcissism often see themselves as superior to others and can be highly manipulative in their quest for praise and power. This type of narcissist is often verbose in their use of language and is obsessed with appearances, status, and wealth. Overt narcissists generally come across as camp and histrionic; Many people used to question their sexuality.

Vulnerable narcissism: Vulnerable narcissism, on the other hand, is characterized by a pronounced deep sense of insecurity, low self-esteem, and a constant fear of rejection or abandonment. Known as covert narcissists, these individuals had a more introverted nature before this disorder became widespread. Covert narcissists still seek admiration and validation like their overt counterparts, but they tend to be more subtle in their endeavors.

Is a narcissist secretly gay? Covert narcissists, especially males, may often receive questions about their sexuality. Vulnerable narcissism and high masculinity do not go hand in hand. Men with this type of narcissism usually appear effeminate and somewhat pathetic.

Sexual identity and narcissism

So, what exactly is going on? Although there is no empirical evidence to suggest that narcissism is directly related to a person’s sexual orientation, there are various reasons why many people think about this topic. It is not uncommon to hear the phrase “I think he’s in the closet” about a narcissist.

Related : 6 Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument

People with narcissistic personality disorder experience a lack of a core identity. The narcissists’ true self stopped developing in their childhood years, as the false self of the condition took over. Therefore, narcissists live their lives with a temporary persona; Small remnants of the true self remain, repressed, and suffocated by the monstrous and domineering ego of the false self. Within their wounded souls, narcissists have no idea who they are as a person; This character flaw determines all other areas of their existence, including their sexuality.

So, is the narcissist secretly gay then?

Rather than being heterosexual or homosexual, narcissists are better described as transgender. Sexual preference is a construct of the self, but since people with narcissistic personality disorder do not have an authentic self, they also lack an authentic sexuality.

Narcissists rely on praise and acclaim from others to get by in life, which is commonly known as a narcissistic supply. This supply is everything to the narcissist: fuel and oxygen. Without this adoration, the narcissist and his false self-construct cease to exist in a very real sense.

When this happens, people with this personality disorder experience a narcissistic meltdown, which means that the face they show to the world essentially disappears. If you’ve ever witnessed a meltdown like this, you’ve probably asked yourself, Have I known this person before? The narcissist falls into ruin, and poisonous shame runs through their veins; Falling into this state is often life-threatening for the pathological narcissist. The only goal in life is to avoid this from happening.

Related : 7 little-known psychological tricks to disarm a narcissist

Therefore, the narcissist grabs any offer he has to take. Are you afraid that your suspected narcissistic husband is gay because he has formed a new close male friendship? Does he seem to come across as campy? If a narcissistic man is in the presence of another man, he may openly flirt with them if they see the result as a narcissistic display. Some narcissists may go so far as to have same-sex sexual relations even though they are not gay. For the average narcissist, a show is a show, and that’s all that matters.

On the other hand, most narcissists are extremely concerned about their personality and overall reputation. For this reason, many narcissists marry or partner with someone of the opposite sex. It is easy to assume that the average narcissist is heterosexual, but this is not the case. Having a wife or husband by his side reflects well on the narcissistic person, and gives the impression that he is a successful and effective member of society. How the narcissist appears to others is their concern; Their actions are not born of love or sexual longing for their partner.

FinalThoughts on Is a Narcissist Secretly Gay?

Sexuality is a construct that is defined by our identities. A typical person has likes and dislikes, true opinions, and viewpoints on various topics. As much as they may pretend to be, narcissists often do not. The opinions of others easily influence them, and they gang up with anyone or anyone who will generate the supplies they desperately need.

Sexual preference comes under the same umbrella. Although this is difficult to accept, with no true self, the narcissist sways in any direction he imagines. For partners of narcissists, this is a particularly uncomfortable truth. The narcissist can never transcend himself as he journeys through life; They remain stuck in perpetual survival mode. Others are never valued as independent individuals with feelings and a soul of their own. As with many other things in the narcissist’s world, the gender of others is irrelevant in the narcissist’s eternal battle for self-esteem.