“Is my relationship toxic?”Most often, our instinct knows the answer to this. Our gut feelings can sense signs of a toxic relationship, just as they can be healthy signs.
Determining whether a relationship is toxic or not is straightforward.
As long as it’s not our relationship that falls under the scope.
“Emotional investment in a toxic relationship” should be an alternative definition of blindness. Your gut knows that something is not right, but it does not match the level at which your head, heart, libido, and luxury will sue and turn a blind eye to your instinct at every turn.
I remember years ago, being in the most toxic relationships and friendships. I would be very grateful just to get a little dirt from the emotional shoes on the doormat you have become. What was incredible though, was that I could spot, identify, and analyze the toxic relationships that friends and family were in from a mile away. My toxic relationship radar was unmatched as long as I wasn’t in the relationship. If you were in it, this radar was replaced by an insatiable hunger for crumbs.
The most difficult thing about a toxic relationship is that as long as you have low self-esteem and need validation as you do with these codependent relationships will always bring a verification addict in you and an exploitative addict in your partner.
Toxic relationships are highly addictive if you lack confidence, standards, and self-love.
Dirty shoes become addicted to the use of an obedient mop and the mop becomes addicted to dirty shoes for a sense of feeling needed, useful, great, and alive.
Related : Recognizing the Signs: 20 Indicators of a Toxic Relationship
Addiction is extremely difficult to kick. I’ve been addicted- not to drugs or alcohol, but to drama, self-loathing, and everything sparked by abandonment issues. Having to go any contact with the source of your happiness, no matter how unhealthy, dangerous, and sabotaging it is, is difficult.
Change is hard.
If you are addicted to a certain dynamic belief, person, relationship, or substance, then this is difficult. It’s hard to wake up one morning, have an epiphany, and not just say ” That’s it! I’m done! I’m done! It’s garbage day and I have a lot to take out, ” but I dare to follow this realization and act on it.
Cleaning the toilets in our emotional and relational toilets should be as non-negotiable as cleaning the crap in our craft toilets. However, the struggle is a bit too strange to admit and a bit real to gain the necessary courage to act on behalf of the self that we do not think is good enough.
Bottom line: the only reason I endured a toxic relationship for more than a hot minute – from family, friends, and lovers, was because it reflected the toxicity of the person I had with myself.
I thought that if I could detoxify my relationship, then the person I had myself would be detoxed by attachment.
I didn’t write this post to insult your intelligence by identifying the obvious symptoms of what a toxic relationship is. I wrote it to separate the triggers that dim the light of your instinct. Now.
I wrote it to start the courage you were born with to finally expel the crap in your relational toilet, once and for all.
Here are 10 signs of a toxic relationship…
No relationship is perfect. However, you should feel support, appreciation, listening, respect, and love in your relationships. You should feel that you can trust your partner.
Sometimes it’s obvious when a relationship is unhealthy, but sometimes the signs of a toxic relationship are more subtle. If you do not feel 100% – if you feel ashamed, paranoid, insecure, and like you have to question everything…
You may be asking yourself, ” Is my relationship toxic? Or is it just me?”
10 signs of a toxic relationship:
Toxic relationship sign #1: you are older than them.
It’s not about literal age, but about emotional and emotional age. Although I prefer men who are a few years older than me, I have dated men of my age. I am not attracted to young people, but I would too if I met the same level of empathy, honesty, and emotional intelligence that he brings to the table. It’s not about being better than everyone else – we are all created equal. It’s about making sure that you never date anyone that you are emotionally and empathetically older than them.
Defining your relationship as a psychological daycare center that only works on an emotional dime will never be exciting.
Toxic relationship sign #2: withdrawal is worth realizing.
You know you’re in a toxic relationship when you put a healthy end to your partner’s dysfunction and they ” come out of it, “momentarily” form, ” and they’re on point until they believe in your forgiveness and then, it happens all over again.
A person (or reality) should never risk losing your appreciation, be honest with you, treat you with respect, and realize what he/she has.
Toxic relationship sign #3: different relationships.
If you watch your relationship on a movie screen and describe it as two people in different relationships, this is a toxic relationship.
Related : The Problem With Everyday Narcissism
How do you know if you are not in the same relationship? You want different things. You have different definitions of love, success, honesty, and communication.
As much as the other person can say that they want exactly what you want, you need to ask yourself how much of this affirmation is to satisfy a short-term need for them and how much is real. You will know the real one. With the real one, there won’t be many words because things will happen.
The key to winning in life: understanding that you will always be in the same relationship with others with whom you are. Strengthen the relationship that binds you to you first. Not only will you be happier, but you will never feel guilty about having to fold because you will know what you are folding from – a toxic relationship that does not live up to a level that you have already set for yourself.
Toxic relationship sign # 4: mixing signals to control.
The fact that the signals are mixed means that the flags are red. And red flags are not reasons to stay and excuse – they are reasons to fold and flow.
Mixing signals is the easiest way for toxic people to control. Because your partner is a DJ playing with emotions, mixing everything up at every turn, you are always left guessing. And because you are just trying to figure out what is happening, you become so busy investigating that you are not able to realize that the fact that you even need to investigate is toxic/reason enough to do.
Toxic relationship sign #5: the desire to be heard and keep the result “to win.”
Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. In healthy relationships, disagreements are used to work through problem-solving. However, in toxic relationships, people often fight to win and be listened to rather than communicate and communicate sympathetically to listen first.
When you “keep score”, you or your partner continue to blame each other for past mistakes made in your relationship. The next time you disagree, your partner may bring up this past mistake to help him ” win the fight.”
Saving the result is an ideal way to distract from real issues, breaking the deal.
Toxic relationship sign Number 6: passive-aggressive behavior.
A toxic relationship is one in which you feel that you cannot be yourself. It’s hard to be yourself when dealing with passive-aggressive behavior. Your partner is unreasonable and you never know what’s going to blow it up.
You feel that you have to act in a certain way to meet the desires and expectations of your partner. You feel like you have to think twice before saying What You Feel. You don’t know if you want to question suspicious behavior because you’re afraid of losing it.
Family and friends also notice that you behave differently around your partner. This makes you more determined to stick to them and prove them wrong.
Toxic relationship sign # 7: you never feel like you are enough.
No matter what you give, Do, or say, you never feel that you are enough. Everyone else always gets from your partner what he selectively gives you, if at all.
Toxic relationship sign #8: jealousy.
It is normal to get a little territory, but when jealousy leads to controlling behavior, you are in a toxic relationship.
We all have fears and worries, but if your partner enjoys seeing you jealous or is trying to make you jealous instead of being communicative, mature and reassuring-this is not pleasant. This is an amateur watch.
Put the child’s menu down and return to the adult table immediately.
Toxic relationship sign Number 9: disrespect and dishonesty.
In a toxic relationship, not only does your partner not respect you, but he does not respect your family and friends either – directly and/or indirectly. This could be something indirect like liking/commenting on inappropriate photos on social media for everyone to see, or directly like flirting with others in your presence.
In healthy relationships, each person listens to and appreciates each other’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Your time and energy are valued and respected. Moreover, this respect extends beyond the relationship with your family and friends. Your honor. Not everyone can claim to love you and also can insult you – directly or indirectly.
If you have caught your partner lying, trust is broken. Passion, meaning, intimacy, and connection can not exist – no matter what you do or how passionately you are looking for it with no pants on.
If you don’t have your health, it doesn’t matter if you have all the Intelligence, money, grades, appearance, wardrobe, charisma, charm, and opportunity in the world, right?
Trust is the definition of optimal relational health. If you don’t have it, nothing else matters.
It doesn’t matter how great all the surrounding factors are, how mind-blowing the sex is, or how tempting the potential is.
When trust is absent, there is an absence of reality (and an abundance of illusion).
Where reality is absent, a healthy and real relationship is absent.
Toxic relationship sign Number 10: always in the Triangle.
You are in a toxic relationship if you are with someone who is having a triangle.
It’s never just you and him/her. It’s You, them, and …
Their issues, lies, exes, addictions, other men/women, their family, job, Dog, hobbies, etc.
You are always competing for attention because you are in a passionate threesome.
And your partner secretly loves competition.
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