What kind of woman do men want today? Is society killing the image men have of women or giving them more options?

The ultimate question when it comes to dating seems to be “What do men really want in a woman?” My initial Google search and first site tells me that I should “dress well,” but I should also “show some skin,” “be happy,” and “ask for help.” Seriously?

MyLittleSurvey

It’s 2016, and there are women in some of the most powerful positions in the world, but I still have to act helpless in order to get a man to like me. I decided that I wasn’t okay with that, and asked some of my close male friends and family members what they like in a woman, to see if what the internet was telling me was true.

Many of them told me that contrary to the internet’s misleading interpretation, men actually enjoy being with the type of women who are smart, independent, and who don’t need to ask for help. These women know how to hold a conversation and talk about interesting things, and don’t need to play on weakness to be seen as attractive.

Many of the men I spoke to also said that women don’t need to be stereotypically beautiful, as every man has his own interpretation of what he finds attractive, and you can’t simply play on every man’s version of “beauty.”

While many said they value a woman who takes care of herself and stays healthy, others said it didn’t matter. Some preferred modesty to a little skin, and others said they preferred a woman who knew what looked good on her, including a touch of color in her makeup or her sense of style.

In fact, it seems that there really isn’t a perfect woman to aspire to because men, like women, have their own types. Shocking, I know.

Women in Modern Society

Today, women are some of our greatest politicians, the CEOs of our largest companies, and the directors of some of our most successful organizations.

As we continue to grow as a workforce, we also realize how underrepresented we are in many countries and industries. In Japan, once women start having children, they leave the workforce and never return.

In India, the female workforce has continued to decline by 10% in the past 10 years. Feminism is more important now than ever before so that we are seen as equal in all areas; if that makes us less attractive to a particular man, then we may be looking at the wrong type of man.

At the same time, the modern culture we live in today seems to place a high priority on body image. There are social media posts of both men and women with body fat percentages below 5% and chiseled jawlines, to the point that we constantly set higher expectations for what we want in others.

We are so intent on meeting these exceptionally high expectations that we have normalized the narcissism that comes with the hours we spend perfecting every aspect of our appearance. We no longer focus on a person’s character, thoughts, and interests.

Instead, we judge a person based on how long we think they took to get ready, and that does nothing for our relationships. How can you expect character from someone who stares at themselves all morning?

Conclusion

So, in answer to the initial question of whether society is killing the type of women men want, I would have to say that society is doing both. Modern society is finally opening up and electing women to positions of power. We are able to earn the highest titles in every industry and our voices are being heard in a way that they never were before.

However, younger generations are so focused on their appearance that the focus on intellect has become so weak that there are only unrealistic models and actors to base our expectations on.

Society is not killing the type of women men like, in some ways, it is allowing us to be ourselves and giving men more choice in women. But at the same time, this is teaching our students that our sole focus should be on what we simply cannot attain. Instead of killing the women these men might like, this is creating an unrealistic image that we can never achieve.

What are your thoughts on this? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.