In the world of narcissism and its effects on relationships and society, one topic that is often overlooked is the tendency to treat narcissists childishly. This approach, although sometimes well-intentioned, inadvertently contributes to the development and perpetuation of narcissistic behavior on a global scale.

In this article, we will explore the consequences of treating narcissists like children and how it can unwittingly enable them to continue their toxic patterns. To navigate this sensitive issue, we’ll delve into specific examples, such as insisting that all narcissists have experienced trauma or denying the damage they cause.

Understanding narcissism

There is a fine line between narcissism and psychopathy, and the main similarity between the two is the lack of remorse or guilt.

Old Freudian beliefs initially held that narcissists were filled with crippling self-loathing, low self-esteem, and shame. We are now beginning to understand that this is not true because narcissists believe that they are superior to others and that their wants and needs should always come first.

While it is important to note that not all individuals with high self-esteem are narcissists, the condition can be recognized when their behaviors become pathological, leading to pervasive patterns of dysfunctional behavior that harm others.

Through various brain scans, narcissistic individuals show brain abnormalities similar to those found in psychopaths. The areas of the brain responsible for empathy have reduced gray matter in certain areas, including the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in decision making, impulse control, and social behavior.

For this reason, the narcissist is known to criticize and even ignore the feelings of others, including his or her family or children. Narcissists cannot feel sorry for anyone; Their brains won’t let them.

Childhood risk

Taming narcissists essentially involves treating them as if they are incapable of fully understanding or taking responsibility for their actions. It often results from well-intentioned attempts to justify their behavior, such as attributing their actions solely to past trauma or portraying them as victims.

Here are some of the big risks associated with treating narcissists childishly:

Denying Accountability: When we insist that narcissists are unaware of the harm they are causing and are merely a product of their past traumas, we inadvertently absolve them of accountability for their actions. This denial hinders their ability to self-awareness and personal growth, even though their history of seeking real help is not very promising.

Victim Mentality: Focusing too much on the trauma experienced by narcissists can lead them to adopt a victim mentality. While it is necessary to consider their past experiences, it should not be used to rationalize their harmful behavior. This mindset can perpetuate a cycle in which narcissists continue to justify their actions based on their past suffering.

Reinforcing Narcissistic Tendencies: Narcissists thrive on narcissistic supply, which includes admiration, attention, and validation. When we infantilize narcissists by constantly offering them sympathy or praise, we inadvertently reinforce their narcissistic behavior, as they continue to receive the validation they crave.

Examples of childhood

To understand the implications of infantilization for narcissists, it is necessary to delve into specific examples that illustrate how these dynamics play out. These examples can help us see how certain behaviors and attitudes can inadvertently contribute to the perpetuation of narcissism on a global scale.

The story of “Blame Shock”:

One common narrative surrounding narcissism is the idea that all narcissists have experienced significant trauma in their past. While it is true that many people with narcissistic traits may have had difficult life experiences, it is important to avoid overgeneralizing this assumption.

Some individuals with narcissistic tendencies have actually experienced traumatic events, but not all trauma survivors develop narcissistic personality traits. Insisting that all narcissists are traumatized can lead to a simplistic view of the disorder and inadvertently contribute to the spread of this belief.

Moreover, it has long been shown that not all narcissists experienced childhood trauma. In the same way that some people are innately psychopaths, the same is true for individuals we consider narcissists.

Reducing harm to others:

Taming narcissists often involves downplaying or ignoring the harm they cause to others. This can manifest in different ways, such as minimizing their manipulative actions, excusing their abuse, or excusing their deceptive behavior.

For example, when a victim repeatedly excuses a narcissist’s behavior because of his or her traumatic past, he or she is indirectly contributing to the cycle of abuse. By not holding the narcissist accountable for his or her actions, the victim inadvertently enables the abuse to continue.

Circle of praise and sympathy:
Narcissists thrive on praise and sympathy, which provides them with the narcissistic supply they crave. Friends, family members, or even therapists may unwittingly contribute to this cycle by constantly reassuring the narcissist that they are the victim in every situation.

While it is essential to provide support and empathy to individuals who have experienced trauma, going too far can enable a person’s narcissistic tendencies and discourage them from seeking help or treatment.

The role of empowerment

In the context of narcissistic relationships, enablers often play an important role in perpetuating the narcissist’s behavior. Enablers are individuals who unwittingly support the actions of narcissists by accommodating or condoning their harmful behavior. Enabling factors can include family members, friends, and even therapists who are not adequately trained to deal with narcissistic individuals.

One way in which enablers contribute to the development of narcissism on a global scale is through the infantilization of narcissists. They may justify the narcissist’s actions by attributing them solely to past trauma, thus undermining the possibility of personal growth and change.

Community impact

Society’s perception of narcissism and its treatment also play an important role in perpetuating or challenging narcissistic behavior on a global scale. When society as a whole downplays the seriousness of narcissistic traits or consistently insists on a narrative of victimhood, it can inadvertently contribute to the normalization of such behavior.