You’ve been through hell and back with someone you suspect has narcissistic personality disorder. No matter how hard you try to achieve harmony in a relationship, nothing you do will work. You feel angry, exhausted, and hopeless, and your lust for life has disappeared. After everything you’ve been through, you realize it’s time to start developing healthy boundaries and investing your time and energy in more valuable activities.
But is ignoring the narcissist a wise idea? How do narcissists feel when you ignore them? You may worry that you will cause more personal chaos and make the situation more complicated. Will ignoring the narcissist protect your health and send this person the message that they can’t manipulate you anymore? If you’re considering taking this action, you’re probably feeling desperate for some harmony.
On the other hand, you may also wonder how ignoring a narcissist affects the person with the condition. Do you feel guilty thinking about implementing such drastic measures? In this post, learn how to ignore a narcissist and bring some peace back into your life.
Ignoring the Narcissist: The Basics
Narcissists do not like to be ignored by anyone or anything. The narcissist sees your withdrawal as a personal attack. People with narcissistic personality disorder do not understand healthy personal boundaries and will suddenly show no respect for their boundaries.
The narcissist will want you to feel bad about taking a break from the relationship. They want you to feel guilty, remorseful, and generally mean and abusive. Narcissists feel entitled to everything they want. Whether they are people or material possessions, it doesn’t make much difference in their minds. Imagine a young child who has just been told that he cannot play with one of his toys; This kid will most likely make a scene. How do you make a narcissist miserable? Make them come to terms with the fact that the universe does not revolve around them.
Whether they show it or not, the narcissist will feel angry. Narcissistic emotions are primitive and cannot process more complex emotions such as loss and sadness, so they express themselves in anger instead. Being ignored is a huge blow to the narcissist’s fragile ego, which is all they have to survive and navigate through life. Ignoring a narcissist will make him feel rejected, which will bring up uncomfortable feelings from his childhood.
How to ignore a narcissistic person
While it may seem logical to learn how to ignore a narcissist, it is fair to say that nothing is as it seems when dealing with people suffering from this illness. It is normal to feel an overwhelming temptation to reach out to the narcissist at first and try to make amends.
Without exaggeration, many who have gone through the worst psychological abuse feel as if they are addicted to a narcissist. After everything I’ve been through with this person, most of it negative, it’s a puzzling phenomenon. So, what is happening on the ground? The truth is not that you love this person very much, but that you are probably a victim of bonding trauma. A trauma bond is a cyclical pattern of abuse that is created by alternating positive reinforcement and devaluation. The victim becomes emotionally attached to the relationship, waiting forever for things to get better and better forever. These relationship patterns keep people trapped in a vicious cycle of narcissistic abuse for years.
Related : Best Revenge on a Narcissist? 6 Effective Strategies
Therefore, when ignoring a narcissist, you must realize how much you are abusing him and stay on the right track. You will likely feel tempted to reach out, but you should continue to completely ignore this person. This means not responding to texts, searching for their names online, and even avoiding discussing their names with others for a while. You must give yourself time and space to dedicate yourself to the healing process.
What do narcissists do when you ignore them?
After being ignored, the narcissist is in a miserable place. They have a terrible and annoying problem. They feel out of control. Power and control are everything to the narcissist, who relies on these shallow and fleeting feelings to compensate for his inner turmoil. If the narcissist still considers you suitable, he will do everything in his power to try to bring you back into his life. This technology is known as hoovering, and it has no name other than a vacuum cleaner.
Some narcissists may constantly apologize until you give in and restore the relationship. Others may suddenly have an emergency or come up with a long list of reasons why they need you. Not all narcissists follow these paths. However, you may find yourself dealing with more sinister actions.
If the narcissist is unbearable with anger, he may launch a smear campaign against you. In these circumstances, the narcissist will tell whoever he can and generally gossip until word gets around that you are a terrible person. The narcissist’s goal is to isolate you as punishment for abandoning them while also gaining sympathy from everyone who listens to their painful tales.
On the other hand, some narcissists may decide that it’s time to let you go. They may judge if you’ve hurt their ego too badly or already have someone else waiting in the wings to meet their supply needs that it’s not worth the hassle. Finally, the narcissist may decide that his course of action is inaction and ignore you as if you never existed. Dealing with being ignored by a narcissist who is ignoring you is somewhat easier than dealing with many alternatives because at least you’re not fighting the manipulation and whirlwind of emotions associated with it.
Remember, hoovering is not a compliment. Ideally, you don’t want to be the subject of a narcissist! The narcissist hovers over you when he believes he can further manipulate you. So, in many ways, levitation is a personal insult.
How do narcissists feel when you ignore them?
Being ignored is bad for people with this personality disorder. How do you make a narcissist miserable? Pretending as if they don’t exist. Narcissists feel annihilated, the exact feeling they spend time running away from and chasing distractions. All narcissists fear that their existence is completely fake and are afraid of being discovered as frauds. This anxiety is why a narcissist can’t let anyone get too close to him; They may uncover the truth and realize that the narcissist is not who they appear to the world.
Narcissists feel chronically numb and empty deep inside. Far from feeling comfortably numb, this feeling creates deep anxiety and pain, making the narcissist anxious. While most neurotypical people feel relatively complete and feel the warmth of self-love, the narcissist knows only barren coldness. The space within the narcissist is where the true self and healthily formed identity should lie.
How do narcissists feel when you ignore them? Lost and unsure of which direction to turn. The narcissist compensates for his unbearable helplessness by running to others to feel comfort, empathy, and love. Unable to create his own identity, the narcissist relies on reflections of his false self created by those around him. The narcissist then uses these fragments and reflections to assemble a temporary persona to present publicly. People with this disease cling to the false selves, which they have spent many years crafting, with everything they have.
Related : 6 Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument
Narcissists hate being alone. Without exaggeration, they despise their own company and avoid spending as much time alone as possible. People who battle pathological narcissism do not have any life force of their own; They have outsourced their energy supply for many years. What do narcissists do when you ignore them? At first, they feel very sorry for themselves.
How to make a narcissistic person miserable
If you are eager to get some form of personal revenge on the narcissist after the abuse he or she has inflicted on you, ignoring the narcissist is the first action you can take to hurt them. Narcissists thrive in situations where there is drama and chaos, providing a welcome distraction from their broken souls. No contact is intended to be a peaceful endeavor that ends psychological warfare.
People with this personality disorder gain energy from their feelings, especially when they are negative. Ignoring a narcissist makes them feel unimportant and out of control, both of which are their worst nightmare.
FinalThoughts on Ignoring a Narcissist
For many of us, being so unnaturally cruel can be difficult. Ignoring a narcissist requires tremendous discipline and a strong, determined mindset. You may worry that you are abusing the narcissist and that your behavior is unfair. No one should feel the need to resort to such an extreme approach in an ideal world.
Before choosing not to contact a narcissist, make sure you are in a relatively good mental space. If not, you will likely feel tempted to reach out to the narcissist, and the entire cycle of narcissistic abuse will start all over again. Learning how to ignore a narcissist will push you to your emotional limits and make you question yourself. There is no middle ground for this tactic, and finding some form of compromise will only hurt you in the long run. No one should have the power to tell you how to live and manage your health. By ignoring this abusive person, you are making the message loud and clear.
If you found reading about ignoring a narcissist and how to make a narcissist miserable helpful, check out Why You Don’t Like a Narcissist.
