How do you know the warning signs of a toxic relationship?
Sometimes, it’s hard to know. However, there are some negative personality traits that are red flags for toxic people.
Those with toxic and negative personality traits can lure you into a false sense of security and then destroy your self-esteem.
In toxic and unhealthy relationships, victims are often convinced that the problem is with them, so they end up accepting negative criticism from the toxic lover.
It can be confusing when you are blamed for the problem or told that you have all the problems.
You may be in a relationship with a toxic person but you don’t know it.
Related: 7 Definite Signs That You’re In A Toxic Relationship And Need To Leave Now
When you love someone, you can overlook the warning signs of a toxic relationship.
Toxic partners can be deceptive and may appear perfect on the outside. However, this is often because it is easier to disconnect from what is going on, to avoid confronting what is going on.
Here are 8 negative personality traits of a toxic person that can lead to signs of a toxic relationship.
- They envy you or are jealous of you
Do you have a partner who acts polite but harbors envy and hatred towards you?
They may be secretly competitive or comparing themselves to you. Do they feel pain when you are successful or happy?
Many people who feel dissatisfied with their lives will hide how disappointed they are when others achieve success or share good news.
Toxic partners feel inadequate and cover it up by smiling, not saying anything, or commenting negatively to minimize their disappointment, to prevent their self-esteem from being damaged.
They feel like a failure in the success of others, and this highlights that their expectations are not being met.
It seems unfair that others should do better, it is a competition or race to be the best.
You cannot rise above them or they will crush you with destructive envy.
They feel miserable because of your happiness and may try to bring you down to raise themselves.
- They criticize you or underestimate your value to rise above you
If you are in a toxic relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder, they may take pleasure in belittling the success of others, by beating them down or making devaluing comments so they can one-up them.
Therefore, they do not feel incompetent, and end up criticizing others to advance themselves.
They inflate their self-esteem to convince others how great they are.
Since they feel superior, they openly reject others.
- They change the problem and make it your fault to cover up their actions
Toxic people blame others for their mistakes and find ways to cover up their actions so that they are never wrong.
They will find a way to turn the problem into your fault.
They avoid the indignity of judgment resulting from shame, so they distort the truth and avoid taking responsibility for covering up their mistakes.
They do this by finding fault in others, whom they blame for their shortcomings.
They lost their jobs because their boss was threatened by them, their ex was crazy, they cheated because they never had sex with them when they wanted to, and they were told that they should move on from issues and not bring them up.
It’s always the other person’s fault and they’re perfect.
Related: 13 Inescapable Signs Of A Dead-End, Toxic Relationship
- They push their point of view to prove that they are right, but they do not take your point of view into consideration
You may be mistakenly convinced that they are always right, but they seek admiration when others need them as an expert for advice.
They always know better than everyone else and feel that they are above others.
When they see others as less than themselves, they feel special and it takes away the shrinking pain of the empty self.
- They use you to advance their agenda while disposing of you or bringing you down if you expose them
These toxic lovers pretend to be Mr./Ms. Right to attract you into a relationship, and to obtain impressive supplies but will ignore or devalue you when their needs are not a priority.
They may even spoil your happiness or success, or belittle you.
You are simply there to give them what they need, such as approval, money, sex, love, and support.
After a date, you may not hear from them unless they need something from you.
They pretend to be interested in you as long as they get something from you.
Sometimes they just want someone to like them or inflate their ego when it’s deflating.
Other times, they object or withdraw to avoid exposure for not being perfect. Therefore, no one finds out who they are.
They feel good by promoting themselves, focusing on themselves, and winning over others to achieve their goals.
- They portray a false persona to hide their true identity
Those with toxic personality traits can lure you into a false sense of confidence and security to fool your eyes.
However, a toxic relationship feels empty and hollow because the toxic person cannot reveal anything about their true nature or reveal themselves.
They will tell people what they want to hear, and imitate what they need so that they can achieve their own goals.
The truth will be revealed when they are no longer able to be emotionally available for the needs of others.
Related: How To Get Out Of Victim Mentality In A Toxic Relationship
- They have no empathy or remorse
They have no compassion or remorse for the way they treat people because they feel they have the right to act in any way that meets their own needs, without any regard for others.
When others fail to meet their expectations, they make excuses for cheating or having affairs.
They portray themselves as kind or pretend to be sympathetic so that people will be there to give them what they need.
You are only needed if you serve a need for them. Otherwise, your feelings don’t matter.
- They see everyone through their behavior
Toxic people project their feelings of inferiority onto others, by spotting things wrong in others or finding faults in them.
They are delusional and see everyone through their expectations, which distorts the way they see and relate to others.
They see others as themselves, the part they hide.
They accuse others of cheating, uselessness, selfishness, or fraud.
You will be attacked or insulted for things that are not you because that is how they see you.
