Is your relationship healthy?
Is it built on trust, communication and mutual respect?
Or are things out of order?
Many people feel completely confident in their relationships, but if you’re here reading this article, you probably don’t feel completely confident about your relationships.
The truth is that all relationships can improve, but some are built on solid foundations and others are at risk of collapsing.
Will your relationship last?
Well, if your partner does these 12 things, you won’t have a healthy relationship, and you’ll either need to make changes or start thinking about finding something new.
1) They abuse you
If your partner physically or sexually abuses you, you’re in a very unhealthy relationship, and it’s time to get out now.
But abuse may not always be obvious.
Emotional or psychological abuse can be difficult to recognize, but it can also be vicious and harmful to the victim.
This type of abuse uses words and actions to strip you of your personal power and attack your self-confidence.
It can include doing things that make you afraid, isolated, or withdrawn.
If you feel intimidated and completely controlled by your partner all the time, it’s time to get help to get out of that unhealthy relationship.
2) They look down on you
I had a friend once who was a really interesting guy.
But I hated the way he treated his wife, which made it very difficult to spend any time with them.
He constantly belittled her, called her stupid, and even mocked and mocked her in front of others.
She always seemed to take it with a grain of salt, but I couldn’t see how this constant barrage of negativity wasn’t affecting her self-esteem.
Well, he was, and a few years ago, I divorced him. She’s in a new relationship and is much happier now that she’s away from all that negativity that made her feel small.
3) They highlight you
Does your partner always tell you that you’re wrong, that your feelings don’t make sense, or that what you believe is incorrect or irrelevant?
In a normal, healthy relationship, this happens sometimes — you can’t agree on everything, after all.
But if this is a consistent pattern, it is a gaslighting.
This behavior has one goal – to control you.
By repeatedly telling you that what you think and feel is wrong, your partner takes away your personal power and makes you dependent on them for guidance.
This is not healthy.
4) Your partner follows you on social media
Does your partner keep close tabs on you so they always know where you are and with whom?
This could be because they are tracking you through your Facebook or Instagram posts.
Even if you don’t post photos or your location, they can often find you because you’ve been seen in photos or tagged in posts by other people.
The problem isn’t social media, the problem here is a lack of trust, so they feel like they can’t let you out of their sight and will use any tools at their disposal to track you.
5) They’re already tracking you
Like me, you probably take your phone with you wherever you go.
But you may not be aware that you may be being tracked by software that has been secretly uploaded to it.
I first discovered spyware years ago when a friend told me he used it.
He sneaked a program into his girlfriend’s phone that would track her location. But more than that, she sent him copies of every text message she sent or received, as well as automatically calling him anytime she was on a call and letting him listen in secretly.
I couldn’t believe this even existed!
But it definitely happened, and he broke up with her one day when she told him that she was in one place, but he saw that she was in another place.
Yes, she was caught lying, but if there’s such deep mistrust in the relationship that he feels he needs to use spyware, he should already know things are doomed.
6) They make you video call them
I started to wonder why so many people I know have such unhealthy relationships..!
I have another friend who can’t go anywhere or do anything without his wife calling him.
But it’s never a voice call. She’s always asking him to turn on the video and give her a 360-degree look at where he is and who he’s with.
I can’t imagine living with this mistrust, and I’m glad that my partner and I don’t feel the need to do this to each other!
7) They cheat
Have you ever discovered your partner cheating?
It happens, and for many couples, this is an obstacle they find themselves able to overcome even though it is a huge betrayal of trust.
But what happens if your partner does this over and over again?
One time could be an error in judgment or a moment of weakness.
But if your partner is cheating on you repeatedly, it’s a clear sign that he or she doesn’t respect you or your relationship together, and there’s nothing healthy about that.
8) They keep you isolated
Sure, when you first meet and fall in love, you can feel like you never want to leave your partner or be with anyone else.
But you are still a whole person with interests, hobbies, friends, and family.
But if your partner keeps you isolated from the things you need in your life, he’s not working toward a healthy relationship.
They don’t have to do it in an evil way either.
They may just want to have you all to themselves. But even then, they can stifle you by denying your need to do your own things and spend time with other people you value.
9) They feel excessively jealous
When you have someone you truly love and care about, it’s natural to want to keep that feeling to yourself.
A little jealousy is normal, and some people like it when their partners feel a little jealous because it shows that they are appreciated and wanted.
But there are limits.
The same friend of mine and his video calling wife also have this problem, but this time, it’s both of them.
They both seem to think the other is very attractive. Great, right?
Not when they’re constantly suspicious of each other and everyone else they come into contact with.
They constantly fight about it but still spend almost all their time together because they are too jealous to let each other out of their sight.
Doesn’t sound healthy or fun, does it?
10) They are not honest about money
Money is one of the biggest issues in relationships to navigate.
Some couples choose to combine and share their resources with joint bank accounts with equal access. Others keep things separate.
But no matter how you handle your resources, things need to be clear and open if you want things to stay healthy.
But if your partner is dishonest or sneaky about money, whether it’s both your money or even just his money, it’s not a healthy way to interact.
This may be a sign that they have some financial problem that they are hiding from you. Or it could just show that they don’t respect you and feel like they don’t have to take your feelings into consideration.
11) They try to control you
Do you feel like your partner is trying to control you?
Do they like to dictate what you wear, where you go, who you meet, and what you do with your time?
Think about it, because control can be subtle.
For example, they may not explicitly tell you not to see certain people, but instead may express their dislike for them and constantly tell you why they are not a good fit for you.
This is still a controlling thing because it’s all about making decisions for you rather than you making your own.
12) Your partner always comes first
If your partner always puts themselves first and makes you do the same, then you are not having a balanced and healthy relationship.
Sometimes you have to choose between what you and your partner want, and that’s just one of the natural challenges of a relationship.
But if you’re always living on your partner’s schedule, submitting to their opinions, and generally building your life around them, you’re getting lost in the mix.
This creates an unhealthy and imbalanced relationship that will only be fulfilling for one of you.
Conclusion
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If your partner is some or all of these 12 things, you won’t have a healthy relationship.
I’m sorry to say it, but it’s time to re-evaluate what you want and need and then take steps to change this relationship or move out and build a new one.
