We all know relationships are complicated, and your partner can upset or disappoint you.
But there is one thing your relationship should always have through all its ups and downs, and that is respect.
If your partner does not respect you enough, unfortunately there is very little chance that your relationship will be happy and healthy.
Unfortunately, I’ve had this experience myself. But the bright side is that it helped me learn to recognize the 7 behaviors your partner exhibits when they don’t respect you enough.
Let’s take a look at what they are.
1) They criticize you constantly
Since we are all human and have room to grow, it is only natural that your partner will have some comments for you or point out things that you can work on.
But as long as they respect you, they will find a way to do it with love and empathy.
If instead they criticize you, it’s a red flag that they don’t respect you enough.
It immediately makes me think of my ex – the first few months with him were amazing, and I just couldn’t get enough of him.
But as time went on and we got used to each other, he would start finding things about me that he wasn’t happy about – a lot of things.
How I folded the laundry, that I finished work late, how I got distracted when I was tired… I was starting to feel like I couldn’t do anything right.
It took such a toll on my self-esteem that it took me years to fully recover after that.
Make sure you don’t let this happen to you, and set clear boundaries about how much you are willing to accept feedback from your partner.
2) They ignore your limits
Continuing on from my previous point, once you set boundaries with your partner of any kind, if they respect you, they should follow through.
This is non-negotiable — it’s essential to your happiness and the health of your relationship.
I learned this closely with my ex-boyfriend. I wanted to have time to spend with my friends, as well as some quiet time to read or work on my side business.
But my ex was unable to understand that, and expected me to cancel my plans or work in order to spend time with him if he suddenly had free time.
We had quite a few disagreements about this and I didn’t understand why I didn’t get him to see things from my perspective.
Now in hindsight, I see that the problem is his lack of respect for me. He was prioritizing his own wants and needs over mine, and I felt completely rejected.
If you can relate, take it seriously – tell him how you feel and why it’s essential to the relationship. If it persists, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship itself.
3) They make a decision that affects both of you without you
It is clear that even in a relationship, both of them maintain their independence and freedom of choice.
So, naturally, you can make some decisions on your own, and so can your partner. But there are also decisions that you must make together, because they affect both of you.
At least, if your partner respects you. If you don’t, you will find yourself surprised or even dumbfounded by the decisions you should have made as a partner.
Maybe you share your money but he makes big purchases without consulting with you first.
In my ex, he decided what we would do on our vacation together without asking me first.
The message was clear: My thoughts, feelings, and opinions were secondary to his. I didn’t realize this right away, but it was definitely affecting me on a subconscious level.
It undermined our trust and commitment to each other, as well as my individuality – I began to feel like I had to fight to make my voice heard, and that is something you should never go through.
4) They reject your interests
Ignoring your interests is a subtle but harmful way of showing disrespect in a relationship.
Although they may not be saying it outright, they are sending you the message that what you love, what makes you unique, and what brings you joy is unimportant or trivial.
