Narcissism is a scourge sweeping our society. If you’ve ever met a narcissist — and I’m talking about a true narcissist, not just someone who’s overconfident and cocky about it — but someone who’s actually been diagnosed with a narcissism, you know that they have very few redeeming qualities.
Scientists have long tried to pinpoint how adults become narcissists, and have found themselves divided.
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There is a group that believes that over-pampering your children and showering them with praise makes them believe that they are better than others, which eventually leads to a narcissistic adult, while the other group believes that children who are deprived of warmth tend to develop some kind of defense mechanism that leads to the need to be loved. others, thus creating narcissism.
But, as I said, for a long time the two camps remained in their camps, as if a line had been drawn in the sand and they did not overlap.
However, a 2015 study found that one of these groups was actually right.
The study was conducted by the University of Amsterdam, examining 565 children between the ages of 7 and 12, in addition to their parents, over a year and a half. By checking in with participants every six months, the researchers assessed household dynamics through a series of questions to see how much of a role parents played in making their children angry with the young narcissist.
What are the results you may wonder? “Narcissism was predicted by parental overestimation, not by lack of parental warmth,” the researchers wrote. OK then.
What the researchers hope this study will do is eliminate the number of narcissists roaming our society. (In their dreams! But I definitely give them an A+ for effort).
Related: 10 Signs You’re Talking To A ‘Conversational Narcissist’
As the study’s authors note, nothing good can come from narcissism. Narcissists are cruel, manipulative, and even prone to violence. Researchers would like to see “effective, proven interventions” to rid the world of narcissists and narcissistic behavior.
The study’s researchers also said they believed this was the first longitudinal research to be conducted on the origins of narcissism in young people.
If parents learned that putting their children on a pedestal and convincing their little brains that they are better than everyone else is a bad idea, we might have far fewer war-mongering dictators, and generally cruel and unsympathetic people. It sounds like utopia to me.
While it may be easy to tell parents to let their kids down with all those niceties and luxuries that come with being a spoiled little devil, I, as a child-free woman, can see how it might be a bit of a challenge.
Related: 3 Toxic Parenting Situations That Turn Kids Into Narcissists
Not a day goes by that I don’t look at my dog and tell him that he is the greatest creature that ever lived. I shower him with compliments, give him anything he wants, and when he acts like an idiot, I tell him to own it, because he’s the best.
Granted, the jury’s still out on whether or not he can fully understand me, but my point is when you love something as much as people love their children (human or furry), it’s hard not to create a monster.
