. . . Maybe not.
In my experience, the vast majority of people who wonder if they are narcissists have nothing to worry about.
This is because true narcissists generally:
I don’t know what narcissism is,
I don’t care whether they are narcissists or not,
Avoid introspection for fear of what they will discover, or
You will find nothing wrong with being a narcissist
People who are most concerned about having narcissistic personality disorder often tend to know one or more narcissists, and certainly do not want to be narcissists.
But decide for yourself. Ask yourself which of the following 20 statements is true for you most or all of the time:
- I have little empathy for others
- I feel angry or depressed if I’m not the center of attention
- I have to win and I hate losing
- I rarely apologize
- I’m never wrong
- I am better than everyone
- I seek to manipulate others to achieve my own goals
- I only have superficial relationships
- I am obsessed with status, wealth, power, and appearance
- I find fault with almost everyone around me
- I treat others in condescending ways
- I deserve special treatment
- I violate the rights and privacy of others when it suits me
- I take pleasure in spoiling other people’s good mood
- I hold grudges even over minor events
- I listen eagerly when others talk about themselves because I want the topic to be about me
- I bully others to get what I want
- I get away with things that others consider wrong because I’m smarter than everyone else
- I get angry when I feel insulted or disrespected
- Others envy me and want what I have
If you answered yes to six or fewer questions, you are unlikely to have strong narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder.
On the other hand, if you answered yes to more than seven of these statements, you may have unhealthy narcissism. If so, and this concerns you, you may want to seek out a qualified therapist for counseling. You can also take an online test here or here to help determine if you have unhealthy narcissism.
Of course, many of us sometimes have selfish tendencies or act narcissistically from time to time. Many of us sometimes love attention and approval, hate losing, or sometimes treat someone else poorly. But it is a matter of degree. Unhealthy narcissism is a pervasive and enduring pattern of doing many or most of the above behaviors across a wide range of situations.
If you know someone who you suspect is a narcissist, simply answer these questions based on what you have observed, and draw conclusions accordingly.
