My mother used to say, “If you want your kids to be your friends when they grow up, you have to lay the foundation when they’re little.”
Sounds simple enough, right?
But the truth is, it’s a lot more complicated than that.
Here’s the thing.
You may not know it, but there may be daily habits you practice that shape how your child interacts with you as an adult.
So if you wonder, “How do I make sure my child is my friend when they grow up?” keep reading.
As you can see, I’ve identified seven key daily habits to help you build that strong, loving relationship with your child that will last into their adult years.
No, I’m not guaranteeing a magical overnight transformation. But trust me when I say—these habits can make a difference.
Let’s get started.
1) Foster Open Communication
It all starts with communication.
Think about it seriously.
How often have you heard the phrase “communication is key” in different aspects of life? And let me tell you, it applies to your relationship with your child, too.
But here’s the kicker.
It’s not just about talking. It’s about listening. It’s about creating a space where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts, dreams, and fears.
And remember—it’s not about giving advice all the time. Sometimes, it’s just about listening.
Embrace open communication today, and you’ll be laying the foundation for a lifelong friendship with your child. Trust me on this one.
2) Show genuine interest
Everyone craves to feel seen, heard, and validated.
Your child is no different.
I remember when my son was about six years old. He developed this fascination with insects of all kinds.
To be honest, insects weren’t my thing. They weren’t even close. But my son was so passionate about them, that I decided to share his interest.
We would go bug hunting in the backyard, read books about different types of insects, and even start collecting small bugs.
Not only did this bring us closer, but it also showed him that I value his interests, no matter how different they are from mine.
Showing a genuine interest in your child’s world can open up new avenues of connection that can extend into adulthood. It’s a small investment with huge returns.
3) Admit When You’re Wrong
Okay, let’s be real for a second.
Nobody’s perfect. And you know what? That’s normal. That’s human nature.
We all make mistakes, and as a parent, you’re no exception.
But there’s something that took me a while to figure out.
My kids needed to see this side of me. They needed to see their dad make a mistake, apologize, and fix it. It helped them see me not just as their dad, but as a human being—fallible and authentic.
And you know what else?
I taught them that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you’re willing to admit them and learn from them.
So don’t be afraid to admit when you’re wrong. It may be hard, but it’s a step toward building a bond with your child that is based on mutual respect and understanding.
4) Foster Independence
Letting go was one of the hardest things for me as a parent. Sounds familiar, right?
But here’s what I’ve learned.
Fostering independence in your child is crucial. Yes, it means letting them make their own decisions, and yes, watching them stumble sometimes.
But believe it or not, it’s a powerful way to show your trust and respect for them.
And you know what that leads to?
A relationship where they feel safe to take risks, confident in making decisions, and comfortable turning to you when they need guidance.
Fostering independence paves the way for a relationship built on mutual respect. Isn’t that what true friendship is all about?
5) Encourage Curiosity and Learning
Did you know that a child’s brain is like a sponge? It absorbs information at an extraordinary rate.
So, try this.
Encourage their curiosity. Feed their insatiable hunger for knowledge. It could be about nature, art, sports, or even the intricacies of the universe.
By doing this, you’re not only helping them grow intellectually, but you’re also setting the stage for some great conversations down the road.
Imagine discussing black holes, impressionist art, or the intricacies of soccer strategy with your adult child.
Encouraging learning and curiosity not only helps them grow. It also helps you grow together. And that’s a beautiful thing.
6) Be there for them
Life is a roller coaster.
For your child, there will be ups and downs and unexpected turns.
Remember that time when you needed someone to stand by you? It’s no different for your child.
Through the triumphs and the tough times, make sure they know you’re their constant support. Their cheerleader when they succeed, and their safe place when they stumble.
It’s not about fixing their problems for them. It’s about showing up. It’s about empathy, a hug, and a listening ear.
In the long run, that simple act of being there for them will mean more to them than you can imagine.
7) Be a role model
Ultimately, your child is watching you. And they’re learning from you.
How you handle stress, how you treat others, how you express love and kindness, and even how you deal with failure.
They absorb it all.
So be the person you want your child to be. Show them what a true friend looks like, in the way you treat them and others around you.
Remember, your actions will always speak louder than your words.
And who knows?
You may find that you’re not just raising a child, but also a lifelong friend.
Final Thought
With these habits, you’re on the right track.
As you can see, you have the power to shape your relationship with your child.
It’s a journey of self-awareness, reflection, and conscious action. Start by recognizing the habits you already have and those you may need to work on.
Remember, it’s not about perfection, it’s about progress. Every effort to communicate openly, show interest, admit mistakes, foster independence, encourage learning, be there for them, and lead by example—all of these move you one step closer to that genuine friendship with your adult child.
Change doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye. It takes time. And that’s normal.
Think about this—are my actions helping me build a friendship with my child? Am I setting the stage for a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding?
Over time, with patience and consistency, these habits will become second nature. Before you know it, you’re not just raising an adult, you’re befriending them.
As you embark on this journey, remember to be kind to yourself. Every little win is a triumph worth celebrating.
Because in the end, there is no greater joy than looking at your adult child and seeing not only your offspring but your friend as well.
