Is your relationship with your partner healthy?

If your answer is “Yes!” Then you probably don’t need to be here unless you’re reading, you know, “For a Friend.”

But it’s possible that if you’re reading an article to find out if your relationship is codependent, chances are it’s not 100% right.

Don’t worry – it’s normal to experience relationship challenges and to look for their solutions and root causes.

However, you may just discover that some of the things going on in your relationship aren’t entirely healthy.

In fact, if you can identify many of these 13 behaviors, you may be in a codependent relationship with your partner.

What does “co-dependence” really mean?
I know you’ve heard the term codependency before, but I just want to clarify what it really means because many people use this term wrong.

Codependent sounds like it means that two people in a relationship are dependent on each other.

But in fact, this is just a normal relationship in which both partners help each other, rely on each other, and support each other. There is a balance, and the dependence is not excessive or one-sided.

Think of this healthy relationship standing tall and proud as H.

But a codependent relationship is more like an A relationship where both parties lean on each other. If it were cut in half, both sides would collapse.

Relationships like this are full of intense need and sacrifice. It can also be a side step, with one person being an adopter and the other being an enabler.

Here are some of the behaviors you will see in a co-dependent relationship:

1) One person completely caters to the other
Whatever this partner wants, the other person is willing to give.

This happens with a codependent and empowering person, where the codependent person will go out of their way and bend over backwards to keep the other person happy.

Or if they are not happy, at least keep them.

While this may also be a harmless sign of someone who is simply smitten, it can also identify a self-reliant person who feels the need to attend to another’s needs at all times.

2) One partner ignores their wants and needs
The other half of one partner meets the other is that, in doing so, the caterer ignores his wants and needs if they conflict with or contradict his partners.

They want to eat Mexican, but they want Italian? Italian it is.

Didn’t you sleep well last night and need a nap? Unfortunately, you have to push them to see their friends.

What the codependent wants is of no importance in this type of relationship.

3) There is a lot of anxiety about the relationship
Codependents live in constant fear of being separated, alienated, or replaced.

They invest everything in the relationship, even though what that translates to is an investment in the happiness of the other person.

However, it is never enough to make them feel safe.

This is because they suffer from low self-esteem and compulsively care about the other person to keep their good graces in order not to be rejected or abandoned.

4) The codependent partner feels guilty for thinking about themselves
Anytime a dependent person considers putting their needs or preferences first; They feel guilty immediately.

why is that?

If you are a codependent person, you will give all of your time, attention, and feeling to your partner to keep them happy and loved.

So if you think of doing something for yourself, like cooking something you just like or having a day at the spa, you’ll instantly realize that’s not what you think you’re supposed to do.

And what if your partner finds out that you don’t put them first?

They will probably get hurt, angry, or even want to leave you, right?

This is definitely not a hallmark of a healthy relationship.

5) There is a fear of speaking out and expressing desires and preferences

When someone in a relationship is co-dependent, they will put their self-expression in the back seat and let the other person do all the talking.

The baptized person will ask, “What do you want to eat?” or “What do you think of this movie?” And listen to the answer.

But they wouldn’t dream of telling their partner what they want or think.

A relationship with two codependents can get bogged down in complete inaction where neither partner dares to make decisions or express themselves.

6) The relationship is obsessive
Whether it’s from one or both partners, there can be a bit of an obsession to the relationship and that’s a red flag that you’re co-dependent on your partner.

Do you think or even worry about your relationship all the time?

Do you rush home to be with the other person out of a sense of need rather than happiness and love?

Do you feel that this person would be helpless without you?

These characteristics express a relationship based on need and dependency rather than love, support, and respect.

7) One partner feels they have to keep the other
Codependent people are actively trying to create dependence on their partners, who may or may not also be codependents.

They say things like, “You’d be lost without me,” and that’s how they want their partner to feel.

This is because they have a deep desire to feel needed by themselves.

They end up in relationships that feel more like projects and build their self-esteem on their ability to maintain or support their partners.

8) Contempt or hate defines the relationship
For most people, feeling like you and your partner hate each other will be a definite sign that the relationship needs to end.

They are looking forward to being needed.

Oddly enough, staying with someone you don’t like makes it seem like you need them more.

9) There is substance abuse or addiction in the relationship
According to the nonprofit Mental Health America, codependent relationships are often formed around addiction.

While one partner in the relationship struggles with addictive behavior such as alcoholism or drug abuse, the other codependent partner pretends that nothing is going on.

They do not acknowledge the problem and instead cover it up for their partner, despite all the negative consequences that may occur.

They keep their own feelings and needs inside and just stand by and watch while the other person rips things off.

10) The partner stays in the relationship even when abused

One of the most serious symptoms of a codependent relationship is suffering from abuse.

Codependent partners will sometimes endure anything from public shame and humiliation to physical and sexual abuse just to stay in the relationship.

This is often a learned behavior, and many people dependent on their parents or other caregivers have witnessed the same thing.

But if you are being abused in a relationship, even if you think it is not very serious, then this is a sign of a very unhealthy relationship and you should get out of it as soon as possible.

11) One of the partners ignores their manners
Do you know the gangster movies where the caring wife turns a blind eye to her husband’s illegal and violent activities?

This is a very interesting example, but it comes from the realities of codependent relationships.

Again, we see one partner ignore part of themselves to please the other.

This time, it’s that partner’s conscience that gets kicked fast if it contradicts what their partner is doing.

12) One person in a relationship can’t say no
This behavior is most common in relationships where one person is a user.

This is simply because they are looking for partners they can use, and someone who won’t say no is perfect.

But this behavior can be found in any co-dependency relationship.

Codependent people do not want to be negative, dismissive, or dismissive of their partners.

They want the exact opposite – for their partners to be happy with them and to need them.

13) One person’s mood always reflects the other’s
The last 13 behaviors that show you are dependent on your partner is changing the other person’s mood.