No one wants to be cheated on. We see this as one of the greatest, if not the greatest, betrayal.
But when you’re dating someone new, you don’t have all the information about them. Even if you move in with them after a few months of being with them, can you trust them?
That’s why you need to pay attention to their behavior. So, in this article, we’ll take a look at how serial cheaters behave.
From the obvious signs to those that are hard to notice if you don’t know what to look for, we’ll explain it all.
1) They become unusually secretive about their actions and whereabouts
Okay, I haven’t met many cheaters in my life, but I have known a few. Some of them have cheated on every partner they’ve ever had.
And what do they all have in common? Secretive behavior, of course. Since they didn’t have jobs that required them to be away at unusual times of the day, they had to hide their cheating in any way possible.
You’ll notice that conversations become murky and it feels like there’s a secret they’re not sharing.
So, if your partner starts acting like a vault, suddenly hiding things or being strangely quiet about their day, that’s a red flag.
2) They have sudden, unexplained changes in their daily routine or habits
So, as I said, unless a serial cheater has an unexpected job (many of them do, in fact), they’ll be regularly unavailable without a reasonable explanation.
Suddenly, they change their routine for no apparent reason, they cancel plans at the last minute, and there’s always a sense of mystery surrounding where they are or what they’re doing. And who they’re doing it with.
Habits that were once expected start to become unpredictable, and it feels like they’re intentionally breaking the mold.
Red flags abound.
3) They flirt regularly with others
Have you noticed your partner being very friendly with others, exchanging playful banter that goes beyond harmless flirting?
Does it often feel like they’re testing the waters with someone else?
Not a great feeling, is it? If they do this in front of you, what do they do when you’re not around?
The serial cheaters I know consider themselves players. They are proud of what they do, and many of them collect things from people they have been with as memories and reminders.
All of their friends know what they are doing, too. You can be pretty sure of that. They love to share their stories with others.
At least some of them have a vile streak that makes people wonder who is falling for their “charm.”
4) They get defensive or evasive when you ask them about it
When you ask them innocent questions about their day or plans, they get defensive, as if you are interrogating them. Instead of open communication, there is a wall of resistance.
So what? They will never admit to what they are doing. They would rather die than admit it to you.
You will also be the last to know, and you will think twice about who your real friends are and why they didn’t tell you what was going on.
5) Their day or activity stories don’t line up
Many serial cheaters first notice something is wrong when their partner’s explanations of their day or movements start to contradict each other.
You ask them simple questions, and they stutter or give you wrong or confusing answers.
Here’s a tip: If their friend’s name comes up a lot as an excuse or as someone they’ve been with, they’re probably spending time with someone else.
The friend is just there to verify their story or cover for them. They probably do the same thing with their partner, too.
6) They guard their phones closely, not letting you see messages or calls
We’ve all been concerned about someone else using our phones. But when you notice that someone is unusually protective of their electronic devices, it’s often concerning.
It’s not just about privacy. It’s as if they’re guarding something specific — perhaps messages or information they don’t want you to see.
They’re overly possessive of their phones like they’re guarding Fort Knox. They may go to great lengths to make sure you don’t accidentally peek into their messages or calls.
That’s why their device is always on Do Not Disturb or even Airplane Mode when they’re around you.
But what are some of the other consequences you might be dealing with? Lack of intimacy, lack of money, and emotional distance are all things that will affect you if you stay with them.
So, let’s expand on each of these a little bit.
7) There’s a sudden drop in intimacy or affection in the relationship
The warmth that was in your relationship has evaporated like last year’s snow, leaving you feeling disconnected.
They also don’t express their feelings or make love to you because they’ve moved on emotionally.
See, this happens even in normal relationships where both partners are loyal. But if there’s a noticeable and sudden drop in physical closeness or affection, that’s when you should be concerned.
Which brings us to this.
8) They become emotionally distant or detached
When your partner becomes emotionally distant, it creates a gap between you. There’s a wall that blocks true connection and understanding.
Conversations that were once filled with shared emotions and understanding become more superficial.
They’re also physically present but emotionally absent, making you feel lonely even when you’re together.
The warmth and tenderness that once defined your interactions are replaced by coldness because they’ve withdrawn emotionally.
These could mean any number of things, but if you pair them with other things on this list, you may be dealing with a serial cheater.
9) Money Disappears Without a Clear Explanation
Have you noticed that money seems to disappear without any valid explanation? Whether it’s mysterious withdrawals or unexplained expenses, the financial picture doesn’t match reality.
A serial cheater spends his money on his lovers. And it’s easy to see where and how it can be spent quickly. Hotel rooms, dinners, drinks at the bar—all of this drains money that should be yours, not theirs.
I can’t even imagine realizing that my money has been spent on seduction and dirty time with someone else. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil.
10) Excessive and unexplained business trips are the norm
As I said, many serial cheaters have jobs that provide the perfect front for all their infidelities. They travel a lot, or they work unusual and excessive hours.
In other words, it’s the perfect excuse to spend time with others.
But even then, if your partner suddenly has an increase in business trips that seem excessive or unexplained, that’s suspicious, especially if there’s a lack of transparency about the purpose or duration of these trips.
Even then, you know that they can make up something that’s plausible enough for you to believe.
11) You discover secret social media profiles or accounts
Sure, there are many other behaviors I could mention, such as mood swings, blaming you for everything, and even showering you with unexpected affection or gifts.
But let’s just say this – you discover secret or hidden social media profiles that your partner never mentioned. Think Facebook, X, and especially Tinder or Only Fans.
It’s like finding a parallel life online that you didn’t know about.
Final Thoughts
If you suspect something, take some time to reflect on your feelings and concerns. Don’t do anything rash, and when you’re ready to talk, choose a quiet, private place.
Instead of making general accusations, point out specific behaviors that raised your concerns and allow your partner to explain their side of the story.
Ultimately, you need to evaluate whether the relationship is healthy and fulfilling. Sometimes, you need to make tough decisions about the future of the relationship.
