It’s a fine line, isn’t it? The difference between someone who is guiding you and someone who is manipulating you. The difference, as the previous article pointed out, comes down to choice—your choice.
Manipulation feels subtle and deceptive like a puppeteer pulling the strings without your consent. Influence, on the other hand, leaves room for your judgment and your voice.
So how do you know when it’s happening? How do you tell the difference between the two?
Well, as a relationship expert, I’ve picked up a few telltale signs over the years. I’ve narrowed them down to 7 key clues that can help you determine if someone is trying to manipulate you.
Are you ready to arm yourself with some valuable knowledge? Let’s dive in.
1) They’re always right
Sounds simple enough, right? People are right. But what happens when someone is always right? No matter the subject, situation, or person involved, they have all the answers.
This can be a major warning sign that you’re being manipulated.
Manipulators often present themselves as experts, as if they know everything. They do this to create a power imbalance. It’s their way of ensuring that you feel less capable, less knowledgeable, and therefore more dependent on their “expertise.”
By making you question your judgment, they gain control and steer the narrative to suit their purpose.
Be wary of this. Remember, no one knows everything about everything. And it’s okay to question things and have your own opinions.
Empower yourself with knowledge and be on the lookout for this common manipulation tactic.
2) They Over-Agree
This may sound a bit strange, right? After all, wouldn’t it be nice when someone agrees with you?
Well, yes and no.
While it’s great to have common ground, constant agreement can also be a manipulation tactic.
Manipulators often use this strategy to mislead you and give you a false sense of security. They make you feel like you’re always on the same page, creating the illusion of companionship and mutual understanding.
But here’s the problem. Agreeing with everything you say doesn’t necessarily mean they truly share your views. It could simply mean they’re trying to keep you complacent and unguarded.
So the next time someone seems to agree with you all the time, take a step back. Ask yourself if their agreement seems genuine or is just a tool designed to keep you in good graces.
3) They Play the Victim
Do you know that person who always seems to be in crisis mode? The one who constantly needs help or is a constant victim of unfortunate circumstances?
This could be a major clue that manipulation is at play.
Manipulators are often experts at playing the victim. It’s a common tactic to gain sympathy and keep you engaged, making you feel obligated to help or support them.
In my journey of exploring relationships and codependency, I’ve come across this pattern a lot. I delve into it in my book, Breaking the Attachment: How to Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a subtle but powerful behavior that can keep you tangled in a web of manipulation.
So, be wary of those who seem to constantly wear the victim hat. This may be their way of keeping you where they want you.
4) They Use Guilt as a Weapon
Have you ever felt like you’re constantly being guilt-tripped? This is another subtle sign that you may be dealing with a manipulative person.
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Manipulators are masters at making you feel guilty for things that aren’t your fault. They twist situations, play the blame game, and ensure that you end up feeling responsible for their problems.
I’ve seen this behavior a lot in my career. It’s a subtle but powerful way to control someone else’s actions and decisions.
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Remember that guilt is a powerful emotion, but it’s not your responsibility to carry someone else’s burden. Stick to the truth and don’t let anyone use guilt as a weapon against you.
5) They’re Masters at Diverting Attention
Have you ever been in a conversation where you’re trying to address a problem, but somehow the subject always changes before anything is resolved? This could be a sign of manipulation.
Manipulators are adept at diverting the conversation and shifting blame. Instead of addressing the issue, they’ll take the conversation elsewhere, often turning the tables so you end up on the defensive.
I’ve experienced this myself more than I care to admit. It can feel like you’re stuck in a spiral, never able to pinpoint the real issue.
So, watch out for this tactic. If someone is constantly distracting you or throwing you off when you’re trying to have serious conversations, it might be time to reevaluate their intentions.
6) They Never Take Responsibility
Ah, the blame game. It’s a classic move in the manipulator’s playbook. They’re quick to point fingers, but when it comes to taking responsibility? Not so much.
Manipulators often evade responsibility, deftly shifting the blame onto others. It’s never their fault, and they have a knack for making sure you know it.
I’ve seen it happen time and time again. As Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
If you notice this pattern in someone’s behavior, take it as evidence. And remember, it’s good to hold people accountable for their actions.
For more ideas like this and to stay up to date with my latest articles, feel free to follow me on Facebook. But for now, let’s move on to our final clue.
7) They Make You Feel Less Than
This is perhaps the most painful clue of all. When someone constantly makes you feel less than you truly are, less important, or less loved, it’s a blatant sign of manipulation.
Manipulators tend to put others down to raise themselves. It’s a cruel tactic, designed to diminish your self-worth so that you become more vulnerable to their control.
It’s raw, real, and painful. And it’s important to recognize it for what it is.
Remember, you are enough as you are. No one has the right to make you feel otherwise. Stand strong in your worth and don’t let anyone use your insecurities against you.
Insights and Reflections
In the world of relationships and human interaction, manipulation can often be difficult to spot. It’s insidious, creeping in under the guise of harmless behavior and leaving you questioning your instincts.
But as we’ve discussed in this article, some clues can help you identify this behavior. The key here is to stay mindful, trust your gut, and remember that it’s okay to set boundaries.
It’s a journey of self-awareness and learning. I’ve been on this path myself, and I hope sharing these insights will help you do the same.
In reflecting on our discussion, I think Justin Brown’s video on the illusion of happiness ties in well with our topic. It explores how the pursuit of happiness can lead us into traps, such as getting involved in manipulative relationships.
Remember that it’s okay to pursue happiness, but not at the expense of your peace of mind or personal values. Be mindful, trust your instincts, and never forget that you are worthy of respect and true love.
[…] RELATED:If you feel like someone is trying to manipulate you, look for these 7 clues […]