Why don’t I get along with my family? It’s like we’re always fighting, and no one’s ever on my side.
Family dynamics can be very complicated, and there are times when we come into conflict with the people we love.
But when your unsupportive behavior starts disrupting their lives, it’s a serious problem. They may start to avoid you or limit the time they spend with you because of your behavior or lack of support.
Let’s take a look at the following 10 behaviors to help you determine if you are the toxic person in the family.
1) You are very critical
Constant criticism is not a positive trait.
It is a toxic substance.
You may find yourself being judgmental or harshly critical of things you disagree with. There is no real consideration for the thoughts and feelings of others.
As a highly judgmental person, you can be manipulative and controlling, which is not good for your mental health or anyone else’s mental health.
You’re not a bad person, but this kind of constant criticism isn’t good for you or anyone else.
It’s easy to judge. It’s not easy to look inward and take responsibility for your actions.
2) You think you’re the boss
Order and organization are important to you, but you often run the home like a production line.
You want things to be done a certain way, but without thinking about how they will turn out.
Often times, we get so comfortable with our family that we forget our morals. We may ask a relative to do something without saying “please,” or we may give instructions with the expectation that someone will do what they are told.
Being constantly demanding is a very toxic negative trait.
3) You are arrogant
We all want to know how things are going with our family, but it takes some tact and consideration. When you are constantly checking in and not giving others space, your behavior becomes arrogant.
Is this what you do?
- You always want to know where someone is going by checking them out.
- Want to know what they do.
- You participate in everyone’s conversations.
- You don’t give space to others.
- If you tend to focus only on what you want for your future and find it difficult to compromise, you have some traits of a bossy person.
4) You can be manipulative
You may have lied or misled your family to hide information or get something your way. This does not mean you are toxic.
Things change when you constantly lie, mislead, and try to control others because these are manipulative tactics.
Think about this scenario:
Your daughter and her fiancé are getting married soon, and are discussing moving out. You really want her to reconsider moving, so you hint at how sad and lonely you will feel when she’s gone. You hope your hints will make her change her mind and stay.
Feeling guilty is a manipulative strategy to make others feel bad. They feel guilty and end up doing what you want them to do.
What about sarcasm?
Other types of toxic behavior include ridicule and humiliation. You may think it’s harmless fun, but it could be a sign of manipulation.
When you intentionally make fun of a relative, he or she either lets things slide to avoid conflict or doesn’t say or do certain things to avoid becoming the target of your ridicule. This way, you influence their behavior to get what you want.
5) Imposing your opinions on others
When you talk to your relatives, are you bothered by their opinions?
You want them to follow your lead when dealing with similar situations or experiences, and when they don’t, you feel frustrated.
the problem?
Your way is the only way to do something.
You may not be aware of it, but when you think you are right, you tend to force or influence others to adhere to your way of doing things. Unfortunately, trying to impose your perspective or solution on your family may feel like a dismissal of their opinions and experiences.
Everyone has their own point of view or reality, and the best thing you can do is offer them your support and advice. You can’t expect someone to agree with everything you say or make the same life choices.
Here’s what you can do to encourage others:
Put yourself in their place.
Instead of telling them what to do, think about how they’re feeling and tell them you’re there for them if they want to talk.
6) You feel like there is no one beside you
Are there times when you feel like the black sheep in your family?
Everyone keeps attacking your character, and they will never stand by your side.
I am waiting.
Are they really attacking you and not supporting you?
Sometimes, we become a victim of our circumstances to avoid taking responsibility for our actions.
When you tell yourself you have been wronged, you avoid any accountability for the role you may have played in the situation.
Think of it this way:
When you face obstacles that you think you cannot overcome, you feel like the world is against you.
the truth?
You are not a victim of any circumstance. You have the power to change your thought processes and attitudes. To stop feeling like you’re not good enough and to help you avoid toxicity in your family, focus on building your self-worth through positive affirmations.
7) You are quick to anger
Do you find yourself getting upset with your family when you’re feeling down? You may be insulting them without realizing it.
You may have been described as rude, unreasonable, or too harsh.
We all get angry or upset at some point, but is your anger justified?
You may have noticed that some family members are distancing themselves from you or no longer trust you. It’s not nice to be around someone who gets angry easily.
If you are nervous and tend to lash out at your loved ones, this is a sign that you need to find more constructive ways to deal with your feelings.
8) You are very defensive
Don’t get me wrong. You should always stand up for yourself when you feel betrayed or belittled.
but…
If you jump to conclusions before the truth is revealed, it’s time to look within.
When someone close to you is honest or gives you advice, you have to ask yourself if that advice is coming from a good place.
I remember when I started my first job. I’ll admit that I lived a little recklessly and didn’t save money for a rainy day. My uncle called me aside one day while visiting and said, “Look, I want to be honest with you.” “You have to start taking responsibility for yourself, and that includes your future.”
Before he could continue, I jumped up and felt the need to defend myself.
If I had taken a minute to listen to him, I would have realized that he was anxious and not critical.
Being defensive is not helpful.
Listen to someone first, then think about your response.
9) You are the gossip
Every family has one person who enjoys gossiping, but when you talk about your relatives without them knowing or spread a rumor, it is definitely a toxic trait.
Gossip is harmful.
If a family member shares an experience with you in confidence, it is important to respect their privacy. They’re likely coming to you for support because they trust you.
When you find yourself talking about them behind their backs, think about the consequences of breaking their trust. What will you gain from your behavior?
My advice?
If you don’t have something nice to say, it’s best to say nothing at all.
10) You always make fun of others
When you’re around family, you feel comfortable, and it’s easy to crack a joke or two. When these jokes become hurtful and personal, this is toxic behavior.
A joke isn’t always funny or entertaining, especially when it’s at someone’s expense.
Sharing jokes with your family is one thing, but making fun of and insulting someone is sure to hurt your relationship with them.
Think about what you say, and be attentive to the people you care about.
What to do if you are the toxic person in the family?
Realizing that you may be a toxic member of your family is an important step to creating harmony and healthy relationships.
It’s incredibly difficult to admit to yourself that your behaviors could be negatively impacting the people you care about, but it’s a necessary step to help everyone live a happier life.
This doesn’t mean you simply ignore things.
This is a difficult number.
Your response should always be within reason.
Take a step back and think about how your actions affect others. Your toxic behavior may undermine the bonds and relationships you share with your family.