There’s a stark contrast between being truly happy and just doing the routine.
What’s the difference? It often comes down to habits.
When you’re stuck in patterns that aren’t serving you, happiness can seem elusive. And you may not even realize what’s holding you back.
As someone who’s been there and come out of it, I can tell you that it’s often about letting go. Letting go of the habits that are weighing you down.
In this article, I’ll share some of the habits that may be standing between you and your happiness.
And remember, it’s your choice whether to say goodbye to them.
1) Living in the Past or the Future
Many of us are guilty of this — dwelling on past mistakes or constantly worrying about the uncertainty of the future.
As a mindfulness expert, I can tell you that practicing being present is a powerful tool for happiness. However, the habit of living anywhere but the present moment is a common one, and it’s the thief of happiness.
Living in the past brings regret and shame while obsessing over the future breeds anxiety and fear. Neither state allows you to fully experience the joy and peace available in the present moment.
Remember that the past has already happened and the future is uncertain. All we have is now.
If you’ve been holding on to this habit, it’s time to say goodbye. Embrace mindfulness and start living in the present. It’s not always easy, but it’s a journey worth taking for your happiness.
2) Chasing Perfection
Many of us, myself included, have fallen into the trap of chasing perfection. We think that if we can make everything “just right,” happiness will follow us.
But here’s the truth: perfection is an illusion.
Buddhist monk and mindfulness teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said it best: “The present moment is full of joy and happiness. If you pay attention, you will see it.”
Chasing perfection distracts us from the happiness that already exists in our lives. It also sets us up for constant frustration, as the perfect moment or accomplishment we’ve been waiting for never comes.
Letting go of the need for things to be perfect doesn’t mean settling for less. It means appreciating what is, in all its imperfect glory.
So say goodbye to the pursuit of perfection and hello to the joy of the present moment.
3) Ignoring the Impermanence of Life
Ignoring the fundamental truth of impermanence is one of the biggest barriers to happiness.
Buddhist teachings tell us that everything in life is transient and constantly changing. This includes our emotions, our thoughts, our bodies, and even our sense of self.
Yet we often cling to the desire for permanence. We resist change, fear loss, and crave security in an inherently uncertain world.
This resistance to the truth of impermanence can bring great suffering and rob us of our happiness.
The truth is, when we accept that everything changes, we begin to appreciate each moment more deeply. We become more present and grateful for what we have now.
4) Neglecting Self-Care
In our busy lives, it’s easy to put the needs of others before our own.
But neglecting self-care is a surefire way to drain your happiness. You can’t pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes.
Mindfulness isn’t just about being in the moment. It’s also about being with ourselves, acknowledging our needs, and taking steps to meet those needs.
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential.
It’s about eating nutritious food, getting enough sleep, staying active, and making time for activities that bring you joy.
Prioritize self-care and watch your happiness levels soar.
5) Embrace Your Ego
We all have an ego. It’s the part of us that wants to be right, wants to win, and constantly compares ourselves to others.
In my journey and through extensive research for my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I’ve found that clinging to ego often gets in the way of true happiness.
The ego thrives on comparison and competition. But happiness isn’t a competition. It’s not about being better than others or having more.
True happiness comes from inner peace, compassion, and living in alignment with your values—not feeding your ego.
6) Failing to Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful force, yet so many of us often ignore it.
In the world of mindfulness and Buddhism, gratitude holds a special place. It is seen as a direct path to developing happiness and contentment.
However, many of us are too preoccupied with what we lack, what we want next, or what others have that we don’t. Focusing on lack rather than abundance can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack in our lives to appreciating what we already have. It’s about acknowledging the good in our lives and recognizing that the source of that goodness often lies outside of ourselves.
If you’re not used to practicing gratitude regularly, it’s time to start. Gratitude isn’t just good for your happiness — it’s good for your overall mental health.
7) Letting Negative Self-Talk Take Over
We all have that little voice in our heads that intrudes with unwanted comments and judgments. Unfortunately, that voice often leans toward negativity.
Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging, filling our minds with doubts, fears, and criticism. It’s a habit that can significantly reduce our happiness.
The truth is, our thoughts aren’t always right. They’re often skewed by our own biases, fears, and insecurities.
If you’re constantly criticizing yourself or questioning your worth, it’s time to challenge that negative self-talk.
Remember, you’re not your thoughts. You have the power to change your inner dialogue and foster a kinder relationship with yourself.
8) Overloading Your Schedule
In our busy culture, it’s easy to think that filling our schedules is the key to success and happiness. But in reality, it often leads to stress and burnout.
Mindfulness teaches us the value of stillness and presence. It reminds us that the constant rush from one task to the next leaves little room for rest, reflection, and true joy.
Contrary to popular belief, more is not always better. Productivity isn’t just about doing more; it’s about doing what matters.
If your schedule is full and you’re constantly feeling rushed, it’s time to reevaluate. Simplify your schedule, make time for rest and reflection, and prioritize tasks that truly align with your values and bring you joy.
Letting go of habits that don’t serve your happiness isn’t an overnight process. It takes time, patience, and self-compassion. But every small step you take brings you closer to a life of joy and fulfillment.
If you’re interested in delving deeper into the teachings of Buddhism and mindfulness to enhance your happiness, consider checking out my book, The Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimal Ego. It’s packed with insights and practical exercises to help you live with more peace, purpose, and joy.
Here’s to your happiness journey.
- Lachlan Brown
