People who display traits of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) typically expect special treatment, appreciation, admiration, and consistently perfect harmony from their partners.
When others do not live up to these expectations in their romantic relationships or marriages, the narcissistic boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or spouse may be irreparably disappointed.
If you fail to provide them with the level of support they require to nourish their fragile self-esteem – known as narcissistic supply – they feel empty, causing them to devalue relationships. Because the relationship is not satisfying enough for them, they look for supplies elsewhere.
Related: Narcissistic Supply: 5 Reasons Narcissists Target Strong, Confident Women
Here are just 13 signs of grandiose narcissistic personality disorder (NPD):
Your partner expects too much from you, and nothing you do is good enough.
They pressure you to exhibit the “perfect” behavior and/or appearance.
They pressure you to do things their way.
They force you to adopt their views, while refusing to let you share yours.
They insist that things are always about them and never about you.
No matter how much you give, they always expect more.
They show little or no empathy for you.
They dismiss you at your lowest moments, insisting that the conversations revolve around them.
The way they treat you and the things they say make you doubt yourself and/or lose yourself in the relationship.
They always leave you feeling inadequate.
They cover up the things they do wrong, distort the truth to prove they are right, hide their feelings, and/or walk away to avoid facing accountability.
They seem to have a high opinion of themselves, but they collapse in a heap and can’t function when life doesn’t go their way.
Their behavior makes you feel as if you are walking on eggshells about their mood.
So, how do narcissists get this way?
The exact causes of narcissistic personality disorder remain unknown, and likely involve a complex combination of environmental, genetic, and neurobiological factors.
According to the developmental theory first presented by American psychiatrist James Masterson, narcissistic parents see their children as extensions of themselves.
If the child does well, the parent feels good about themselves. If the child does not perform at a high level, the parent feels weak.
The child feels pressure to be perfect and feels inadequate when he does not receive approval from his parents. At the same time, the child is reprimanded for expressing himself or showing hurtful feelings, and he learns to hide or cover up his feelings, knowing that they will only be viewed as a disappointing sign of weakness.
