If someone uses these 8 phrases, they’re seeking control in a relationship

Relationships can be complicated animals (trust me, I’ve had my fair share of experience).

Don’t get me wrong.

I understand that you can’t always agree and move on perfectly.

This is not realistic.

But while fights are inevitable, it is important to be aware of whether your partner is actively working on something more ridiculous.

In other words, if they are trying to control and manipulate you.

It’s super toxic and simply not on.

How do you detect this controlling behavior? Well, there is a certain language that you can search for.

How many of these eight phrases do you recognize?

1) “You don’t need anyone else, you have me.”

On the face of it, this seems to be a positive thing to hear from your partner.

But be careful!

If they are constantly talking to your friends and family or suggesting you move away together, they are probably trying to isolate you.

Because in the end, this helps them control you.

After all, you will be more at risk if you do not have the support of others in your life (and they know it).

They are trying to make you more dependent on them.

2) “It wasn’t like that.”

Let me add some context to this one.

Imagine that your partner stayed out late without explanation.

When you confront them about it, they reject your feelings and deny any injustice.

Maybe they’ll say something like “You’re making things up.”Or” you are paranoid.”

This is a form of gas lighting.

It can lead you to question your perception of events and make you feel like you are in the wrong.

It is a particularly effective manipulation tactic because it can make you feel confused, anxious, and vulnerable.

How to detect gas?

Ask yourself this, does your partner at least admit to your fears?

Here’s the thing.

Even if it is something completely harmless (and it can be solved with better communication), it is a fact that you feel the way you feel, and it should be addressed, not simply ignored.

3) “You always prioritize others over me.”

This is an example of guilt.

Let me explain.

If you are like me, you will care deeply about your partner (you love him after all).

So when they criticize you in this way, it can be very cruel.

She will instinctively feel guilty and want to fix the situation. This puts you in a submissive position and (you guessed it) makes it easier for them to control you.

RELATED:10 signs your partner is playing mind games, according to psychology

At the end of the day, they try to make you do what they want.

It should be a big red flag!

Some other examples of stumbling with guilt include: “I sacrificed a lot for you and this is how you repay me?”And” I thought I could count on you, but I think I was wrong.”

4) “You are the most amazing person I have ever met.”

Wait a minute!

You’re probably thinking that this doesn’t sound so bad.

Okay, listen to me.

While this phrase (when used in isolation) can be quite real, it can also be an attempt to bombard you with love.

It’s all about the context.

If you’ve only been together for three weeks and they already declare their undying love for you (like, every day), maybe you step back for a moment.

Keep in mind that only he can tell you exactly what you want to hear.

Why?:

To manipulate and control you!

Love bombing is when your partner displays excessive attention and affection to make you feel connected to her.

It’s more of a behavior than a single phrase, but watch out for overly dramatic language like: “I’ve never felt this way before.”, “You compliment me.” ” and “I’ve never met anyone as perfect as you. You’re my buddy.”

5) “If you don’t do what I say, I’ll leave.”

This is a little less subtle!

But threats and ultimatums are an effective form of control.

Here’s the thing.

Your partner forces you to imagine the worst scenario (the end of the relationship). This creates fear, which acts as a powerful motivator.

If you care about them, the last thing you want is for them to leave. So chances are, you have to do what they want.

Of course, they are well aware of this.

Threats are a particularly evil form of manipulation because they increase fear and panic.

If your partner gave you an ultimatum, you should be wondering if you want to be with someone happy to instill fear in you to get what he wants.

6) “You can’t do anything right without my help.”

Strong and independent people are difficult to control and manipulate.

This phrase tries to undermine and shatter your self-confidence to make you more vulnerable.

Again, by itself, it probably won’t have much of an impact on your self-esteem.

But constant use over time may slowly grind you down so that you become more dependent on your partner.

It is important to recognize this behavior early in your relationship and confront it.

7) ” I want to know where you are at all times.”

The need for control can sometimes be driven by your partner’s insecurities.

In this example, they seek to monitor your physical location.

This may be because they don’t trust you, or have been injured in the past.

But you are entitled to your privacy and surveillance like this will not end well. It gives them strength in the relationship, making it feel one-sided.

Rather, they need to deal with their fears, because, simply put, it’s not fair that they can’t trust you (if you haven’t done anything wrong). You will only grow to resent them over time.

8) “Nothing I do is good enough.”

Finally, this phrase is an example of victim play.

If you are a partner who constantly says things like that, they are probably trying to get sympathy, avoid taking responsibility for their actions, and ultimately, control you.

This emotional manipulation is designed to make her seem helpless or treated unfairly.

If you catch your partner constantly playing the victim (or displaying any other behaviors on this list), you should have a direct and frank conversation.

Share your fears and tell them that you feel manipulated. In some cases, you may suggest that they seek professional help.