If someone regularly uses these 9 phrases, they’re probably a covert manipulator

Manipulation can be a difficult thing to identify, especially when the person doing it is the master of disguise.

It’s all about control and getting what they want, often without revealing their true intentions.

Secret manipulators are skilled at using language to subtly influence or control your actions.

They only know the right words to say which can make you start guessing yourself.

To help you identify these cunning individuals, I have compiled a list of phrases that they often use.

By recognizing these phrases, you may be able to spot the manipulator before he gets under your skin.

Let’s dive into the “9 phrases that secret manipulators regularly use”.

It’s time to arm ourselves with knowledge against these cunning speakers.

1 )”You are too sensitive”

In any relationship, personal or professional, respect for one’s feelings and emotions is paramount.

Covert manipulators, however, have a knack for dismissing your feelings as overly sensitive or overreacting.

This is a classic gas-lighting technique.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the manipulator makes you doubt your feelings, instincts, and mind.

When someone tells you, “You are too sensitive,” he is trying to nullify your feelings.

Instead of addressing the problem at hand, she deflects it back at you. It’s trying to make you question your reactions and emotions.

By doing this, they shift the blame on you and take away your ability to respond effectively.

It’s a powerful manipulation tactic because it can make you feel like you’re the problem, not them.

The key to combating this is to recognize it for what it is-manipulation.

Your feelings are true, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise may try to control you or influence you in unhealthy ways.

2) “I was just kidding”

Secret manipulators have a knack for using humor as a disguise for their hurtful comments.

It’s a tactic I’ve personally experienced.

I remember a friend who had a habit of making derogatory comments about my appearance.

When I confronted him about it, his usual response was, “I was just kidding.”

He made it seem as if I was the one who overreacted or lacked a sense of humor.

But here’s the problem so-called jokes were often at my expense and had a basic tone of criticism.

These “jokes” were his way of undermining my self-confidence, without having to take responsibility for his words.

The phrase “I was just joking” is a manipulative Shield, which allows them to say hurtful things while avoiding reproaches.

It’s their way of transferring responsibility to you for not being able to take a joke.

Recognizing this pattern is the first step to dealing with such a secret manipulation.

Humor should make you feel good, not bad about yourself.

3) “I hate drama”

Ironically, those who constantly call for “hate drama” are often the ones stirring it up.

It is a classic manipulation tactic used by covert manipulators to portray themselves as innocent and above any conflict or dispute.

They may be the ones instigating the drama behind the scenes.

They create chaos and then sit down, playing the role of bewildered passers-by who have no idea how things got out of control.

By recognizing this phrase for what it is – the deflection technique – you can begin to see through the disguise of the manipulator and understand their true intentions.

4) “Trust me”

Trust is something that needs to be earned over time through actions, not just words.

However, secret manipulators often use the phrase” trust me ” as a way to gain your trust quickly and without advantage.

This phrase is a red flag, especially when used frequently or in situations where trust has not yet been established.

Try it to bypass your natural doubts and you get to lower your guard.

Manipulators use this phrase to make you feel safe, to make you believe that they have your best interest at heart.

RELATED:9 phrases master manipulators use to exploit your insecurities

True trust is built through consistent and trustworthy behavior, not just words.

The next time someone asks you over and over again to “trust” him, wonder why he feels the need to say that so often.

It may be a sign that they are trying to manipulate you to give them unjustified trust.

5) “You Owe Me”

Secret manipulators are experts at making you feel like you owe them.

The phrase “You Owe Me” is often used to convict you of doing something that you may not want to do.

This tactic manipulates your sense of fairness and commitment.

They may remind you of the favor they have done you in the past, and often exaggerate its importance, to make you feel like you are in debt.

But relationships are not about preserving the result.

It’s not about who owes whom. It’s about mutual respect and reciprocity.

No one has the right to make you feel obligated or indebted without your consent.

6) “If you love me, you will…”

This is a phrase that strikes in the heart.

Secret manipulators often use love as a tool to get what they want, and it is one of the most painful forms of manipulation.

“If you love me, You Will” is a phrase that manipulates your feelings and makes you question your feelings.

It is a coercive tactic used to convict you of complying with their wishes.

Love should never be used as a bargaining chip.

It’s not about doing everything the other person wants; it’s about mutual respect, understanding, and compromise.

When someone uses your love for him as a weapon, this is a clear sign of manipulation.

Love is not about control or demands but about care and understanding.

Don’t let anyone use your feelings as a tool for gain.

7) “No one will ever love you as I do”

This phrase is a manipulator’s way of making you feel like you’re lucky to have it, even if they treat you badly.

It’s a tactic designed to lower your self-esteem and make you feel dependent on it.

I remember a time when I was in a relationship where this phrase was used a lot.

He made me feel trapped and afraid to leave, as I was manipulated into believing that no one else would care about me in the same way.

But the truth is that this phrase is just a ploy to keep you attached to the manipulator.

It is a fear tactic used to control and isolate you.

Love shouldn’t make you feel trapped or scared. If someone makes you feel that he is your only option, then this is not love, but manipulation.

8)”I never said that”

Secret manipulators are masters at distorting the truth and denying the things they have said. “I never said that” is a common phrase used by them to make you question your memory and perception.

This tactic, known as gaslighting, makes you doubt your own experiences and memories.

Over time, this can lead to confusion and make you feel like you are losing your grip on reality.

When faced with undeniable evidence, manipulators may go so far as to accuse you of misunderstanding or misremembering.

This is designed to shake your confidence in your judgment.

Don’t let anyone make you question your reality.

If you notice a pattern of denial and distortion, this is a clear sign that you are dealing with a manipulator.

Trust your memory and instincts.

9) “It’s all your fault”

This is the last and perhaps the most harmless phrase in the manipulator’s toolbox.

They often use “it’s all your fault” to blame and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Manipulators are experts at quirky situations to make you feel responsible, even when you’re not.

This constant blame game can be emotionally draining and can significantly damage your self-esteem.

Everyone makes mistakes, but the pattern of blaming others, especially for their actions or feelings, is a strong sign of manipulation.

Do not allow anyone to make you bear the burden of his mistakes.

You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness or actions except your own.

Final thoughts: it’s about self-awareness

Understanding human interactions, especially when it comes to manipulation, often comes down to self-awareness.

These subtle phrases used by secret manipulators are designed to undermine your self-confidence and control your actions.

But her recognition is the first step towards combating such manipulation.

When you hear these phrases, take a moment to think.

The question of their intention. Trust your instincts.

Your feelings and perceptions are correct, and anyone who tries to make you think otherwise is not acting in your best interest.

The key to coping with manipulation is not only recognizing it but also responding to it effectively.

This requires emotional intelligence, self-confidence, and, above all, respect for your worth.