Everyone is a little judgmental. We can’t help it, it’s just human nature!
Some people make it very clear when they judge you. Such people tend not to be the most beautiful and kindest souls.
But most people do everything they can to hide the fact that they are judging you.
Sometimes, they are still a bit cruel. At other times, they can’t help themselves!
Either way, it’s good to be aware of these things. If a person judges you secretly, there may be small, subtle signs that give him away.
Like the following 10!
Up first:
1) they will smile at others while you are talking
Firstly, if someone is silently judging you, they may not be the only ones.
People who make judgments tend to form a “clique”. That is, a group of people with whom they share their love to judge others!
When you talk to people in this clique, the person judging you may smile at someone else in the group.
It’ll be fast and almost unnoticeable – but he’ll be passing judgment! And an indication that they will most likely talk about everything you said later…
2) they will say nice things in a caring manner
Another sign that you are being judged is if someone starts caring for you badly!
In my experience, people patronize by being overly kind or supportive. It’s as if you tell them you got a promotion at work, and they respond with something like:
“Oh wow! How incredible! Aren’t you smart! What a great achievement for you! You should feel good about yourself!”.
Everything looks nice. And sure, that person might be nice. But she may also be patronizing you. And judge you silently…
3) they will laugh when they think you can’t hear/see
A person who silently judges you will not always be in a crowd or a coterie of people they know. They can only be alone.
Instead of smiling at others across the table, they will make fun of themselves after what you said.
They may do it so quietly that you can barely hear it. Or they may do it when they think you can’t see them.
Either way, it’s another sign that someone is subtly judging you for everything you just said or did.
4)they will ask a lot of questions (especially those that they already know the answer to)
Sometimes, people ask questions they know the answers to in an attempt to catch you out on a lie. Other times, they do it to make you feel embarrassed.
When it’s the latter, they judge you silently-there’s nothing wrong with that.
Suppose you have been engaged for three years. Someone you know is well aware of this fact. But they keep asking you if you are engaged, when you got engaged, how long have you been engaged, when is the wedding date, etc., Etc.
These are not just general inquiries for a conversation. They are silent judgments from you to enjoy a long engagement without a date in the diary so far.
5) they will remain calm after finishing talking
Have you ever answered someone’s question and made them stare at you after nothing at all?
Sure, they might be socially awkward. Or waiting for you to continue talking. But they may also (most likely) be silently judging you.
Why?: Because some people use their silence to make you feel uncomfortable. Or to make you feel embarrassed about something you just said.
Like if you make a joke and they don’t find it funny. They may not say that they don’t find it funny. But they will only stare at you, and say nothing, until you or they change the subject.
Or if you shared something personal about yourself. They may remain calm because they don’t know what to say. And they judge you a little silently for what you just said…
6) they will be idioms when you are talking
Another way to find out if someone is silently judging you is to watch their expressions when you talk.
Sometimes a person may remain completely expressionless when he judges you for what you just said.
I’m not going to lie, I even do this myself sometimes! When someone at work curses someone else, I won’t show any movement on my face.
I’d simply listen to what they said, all the while staying very quiet – with no smiling, nodding, mm-hmm, or otherwise running away.
This is not always a sign that someone is judging you. It may just be listening attentively to your story. Or they feel comfortable enough to relax their faces around you!
But it could also be a sign that they are silently judging you for what you say…
7) they will make minor changes in the face
Remember when you said you needed to watch someone’s expressions to see if they were silently judging you? Well, this also applies here!
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Some people are not good at hiding their emotions from their faces. “They had their hearts on their sleeves,” says the proverb.
Such people will do their best to restrain their judgment, disgust, shock, or other emotions from appearing on their faces. But she may not be able to…
So you may catch a slight movement that gives them away.
It may be a slight eyebrow lift. There may be a slight widening of their eyes. It may be a small chase from their lips. Or it may be a bit of disgust.
Whatever it was, it’s a verdict. And it’s a rule they are trying so hard to hide!
8) they will look you up and down
Well, maybe this is quite obvious. But maybe not so! Because most of the time, the person who silently judges you won’t do it when you look.
But almost certainly they will look you up and down.
People do this when you watch to make you feel small. When you’re not watching, they’ll do it because they take what you look like.
And most of the time, they’re judging something about your appearance-whether it’s your shoes, jeans, sweater, coat…
Or worse…
9) they will stare at one thing about you
When someone silently judges you, he may not be so obvious that he looks at you up and down. Rather, their judgment will be more accurate.
They may be staring at one thing about you. Or they may continue to look at this thing.
Suppose you are wearing crooked or dirty shoes. They may stare at your feet for longer than they should.
Or they may keep looking at them while you’re talking – or even while they’re talking.
This type of behavior is usually intentional. They want you to know that they disapprove of your shoes. But of course, they won’t want to be clear about it.
If you ever called them out on it, they would deny it. Because their behavior is so subtle, what evidence do you have?
10) they will ask random things about you
When someone judges you silently, they may bring up some facts about you to make you feel insecure.
Or at least, to make you feel embarrassed and like you have to explain yourself.
Like when I saw my brother briefly date a Girl on the train one morning. When we met again at a family gathering, she told everyone how she saw me on the train the other day “sitting in the priority seat”.
There was no need for her to mention that I was sitting in the priority seat. She brought it up to subtly let me know that she was judging me for it. And, of course, to make me feel embarrassed about it in front of my family!
If someone is silently judging you, they might bring up things like this about you, too.
Sometimes it will be when you are in a crowd of people. Sometimes, it will be one-on-one. In both cases, the result is the same. It’s a silent judgment on something you’ve done.
(Oh and by the way, I was only on the train for two stops and it was empty!).
Final thoughts
As I said earlier, everyone makes a little judgment sometimes. I’m sure you’ve judged many, many people you’ve met in life!
Just because you judge someone else, it doesn’t make you a bad person.
Sometimes it makes you a little mean, but sometimes it makes you human.
Either way, if someone is silently judging you, the best thing you can do for yourself is let go.
If you want to learn from things and be better, think about your behavior and start making a change. But if you are very happy with who you are and what you are doing, don’t let other people’s silent judgments hold you back.
After all, it’s your life, not theirs!
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