People gossip for many reasons. Some envy your success, appearance, or accomplishments, while others find pleasure in talking about others behind their backs.
Whatever the reason, gossip can be fun but also harmful to those on the receiving end.
But can you catch a colleague or “friend” talking about you to others? Of course you can.
So, let’s discover the hidden behaviors that people who gossip behind your back usually display.
1) Friendliness is extraordinary
Excessive kindness is a bit suspicious. It’s like they’re trying hard to be nice to your face while gossiping behind your back.
Related : 9 signs you’re dealing with a compulsive liar, according to psychology
If you see all smiles on the surface, know that there may be some hidden negativity lurking underneath.
So, if someone is suddenly showering you with extreme kindness, it pays to keep your radar up for any signs of gossip going on behind the scenes.
2) Exaggerated reactions
If they do too much of certain things, it can be a distraction. They are trying to distract attention from the gossip itself.
The idea here is to create a scene, a sensation, or distract attention from the real issue – the gossip they were spreading.
By exaggerating their reactions, they hope that you will focus on the drama they are creating rather than questioning the gossip they have participated in.
I’ve seen this happen in the office I used to work in, and you can definitely see something happening.
3) Inconsistent stories
Gossipers often tell one story about you and another about someone else. If you want to get to the bottom of something, you should dig a little deeper and see if you can catch them saying inconsistent things.
If their stories don’t match, it’s because they’re juggling different versions of gossip. Inconsistencies show that they are not straight with you.
This could be a sign that they are probably talking behind your back.
4) Whispering and hushed conversations
When people speak quietly or secretly, it may mean that they are creating a small club without you. They deliberately hide information from you, making you feel excluded.
But let’s step on the ball for a moment. Just because people talk without you, doesn’t mean they talk about you. However, I also wouldn’t be naive and believe that everyone is a good person.
What I’ve noticed is that the less work people do at their jobs, the more time they have to fill, which is why many of them resort to gossip.
Just think about it: When you’re overwhelmed with things to do, the last thing you want to think about is other people.
5) Sudden silence
Do you know what it was like in old Western movies when the main character walks into the saloon, and everyone suddenly goes silent and looks at him?
Well, this can sometimes happen when people talk behind your back when you enter a room or office.
If everyone stops talking the moment you walk in, it’s not just a coincidence. They’re hiding something, and quickly change the subject to prevent you from catching on.
6) Avoid eye contact
When people don’t look directly at you, it’s not just shyness. Some people feel guilty for talking about you, and they cannot confront you honestly.
The lack of eye contact becomes a non-verbal acknowledgment that something is wrong and they are not being completely clear with you.
It’s a subtle but powerful sign that there may be more to the story than meets the eye, and they struggle to confront you directly.
7) Fake smiles
The same can be said about the fake smiles you might put on someone’s face when you’re talking to them.
Behind it there may be negativity or criticism, especially if there are rumours.
A true smile is not limited only to the lips, but also to the eyes, which is a complete facial expression of warmth and happiness.
On the other hand, a fake smile lacks that real warmth. The smile becomes a cover, an attempt to present a friendly facade while hiding less positive emotions.
But it’s also part of the whole body language someone presents.
8) Uncomfortable body language
Uncomfortable body language speaks volumes, and when you notice fidgeting, crossed arms, or turning away, you are essentially witnessing the physical manifestations of inner turmoil.
These non-verbal signals indicate that everything said about you has a significant impact on their emotional state.
This is easy to notice when you spend a lot of time with someone and they suddenly start behaving that way.
But even if you don’t know them well, it’s still easy to spot because it’s surprising. Have you noticed how, when people see you, they suddenly change the subject?
9) Changes in conversation
If they suddenly change topics when you approach them, they are trying to act normal and cover up the fact that they were only discussing things about you.
I’ve seen this happen too many times to know exactly what’s going on. And if you haven’t experienced it yourself, you’ve seen it on TV, as every TV show set in a workplace setting like The Office or Superstore shows it happening.
However, it’s weird to see this happen in real life as people suddenly change the subject when you come up.
10) Exclusion
When you find yourself constantly being left out of plans or groups, it means the social dynamics are changing, and the message is: “We’ve been talking, and we’re not okay with you now.”
When you are excluded, it is a form of passive aggressive behavior, expressing rejection without direct confrontation.
Take a moment to think about possible reasons behind the exclusion. Think about your recent interactions and any potential sources of conflict or misunderstanding.
Feeling pain or discomfort is normal, but try to remain calm and collected. A rash reaction can worsen the situation. So, take some time to process your feelings before deciding on a course of action.
If you are okay with this, try to talk openly and frankly with the people involved. Ask them about any possible misunderstandings and share how you feel.
Keep things calm, avoid getting into fights, and aim to understand each other better.
11) Looks and stares
The eyes, often called the windows to the soul, can reveal a lot about what a person is thinking or feeling.
In this case, staring and staring becomes a form of communication, a way for the person to express his negativity without verbalizing it.
Those judicial views? They’re not just random. They express negative opinions about you without actually saying anything.
They make you feel scrutinized or under a microscope, and the negative feelings behind them likely stem from gossip or opinions they’ve formed about you.
So what should you do about it?
But what should you do if you catch them red-handed? First, stay calm and don’t give them more material by acting hysterical or something like that.
Take a deep breath and approach the situation with a level head. Consider talking to trusted friends or colleagues to find out what is being said and how widespread it is.
Start documenting these instances, as this will be helpful if you decide to escalate matters.
Just know that not every bit of gossip is worth addressing. Evaluate the situation and decide if it is worth your time and energy to confront it or if it is something you can let go of.
If gossiping is causing you major problems, and you’re comfortable doing so, involve a mediator (such as Human Resources, if it’s happening in the workplace) or a neutral person who can help with the situation.
Let people know that spreading rumors or gossip is unacceptable, and that you expect respectful and open communication.
