Have you found yourself exhausted after spending time with a certain person? You can’t quite pinpoint why, but you know something is wrong.

I’ve been there too, stuck in a spiral of negativity and emotional turmoil, all because of toxic traits I failed to recognize in someone.

But the bright side is that I can now easily recognize these traits even early on, and avoid letting more people like this into my life.

And I’d love to help you do the same – you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache and frustration.

So let’s dive into the eight traits that indicate someone’s presence is toxic.

1) Narcissism

The word “narcissist” gets thrown around a lot these days, but you may not even realize it when you’re up close and personal with one. What do you look like?

In short, they have an inflated sense of importance and a deep need for excessive attention and admiration.

Picture this: You’re excited to share news about a recent accomplishment or personal accomplishment, but the moment you open your mouth, they hijack the conversation to talk about themselves. once again.

When there is a problem, they are always focused on avoiding responsibility, and seem unable to put themselves in your shoes.

This is because narcissists tend to lack empathy, making it impossible for them to truly care about your feelings or needs.

The worst part is that they can be very difficult to detect. Narcissists often lure you in with their charisma, only to later reveal their true selfish nature. So keep an eye on these behaviors from the beginning so you can avoid letting her get too close to you.

2) Insecurity

Insecurity is a funny thing. At first, it may seem like humility or weakness, traits we are often told are endearing. But don’t be fooled.

I once had a friend whose insecurities were like a cry for help. They were always fishing for compliments or constantly belittling themselves, expecting me to chime in with their reassurances.

The thing is, over time, their insecurities started to weigh on me like an anchor. They required constant validation, which left me exhausted and feeling like a therapist rather than a friend.

What is more toxic? Sometimes, they may lash out at their insecurities, criticize or belittle others (including me) just to feel a little taller.

You see, insecure people have a knack for making their problems your problems. They often project their fears and shortcomings onto those around them, turning a simple friendship into an emotional battleground.

If you find yourself walking on eggshells, always worried about saying the wrong thing and making them feel insecure, this is a big red flag.

Stay safe and consider putting distance between yourself and the insecurities that affect your emotional health.

3) Competitiveness

Let’s be honest, competition can be a lot of fun! But when it goes too far, it sucks the fun out of everything.

Remember that friend who wouldn’t let you enjoy your promotion or enjoy a small win without mentioning his or her own accomplishments?

Or perhaps they are looking for things that are wrong with your achievement, to make it lose its luster.

Overly competitive people cannot see the success of others if they are not in the spotlight as well. It’s not just about healthy ambition; They have a desperate need to outperform everyone around them.

I had a friend who would at least try to pretend he was happy for me when I achieved something, but then he would go away and try to beat it with another win of his own.

Over time, it became clear: this was not a friendship, but a competition I had never entered into.

4) Pessimism

We all have ups and downs, moments when the cup of life seems half empty rather than half full. But being around someone who is always pessimistic is a completely different experience.

Imagine sharing your dreams and aspirations, only for them to poke holes in every one of them. I remember a friend who was always highlighting the worst case scenarios.

She wouldn’t blatantly tell me this, but she was basically painting my ambitions as pipe dreams.

Over time, her negativity seeped into my mindset, casting a dark shadow over my goals and plans.

Emotional energy is contagious, and a pessimist can quickly turn your sunny day into a shower of doubt.

If you’re constantly exposed to someone’s dark gaze, it’s not only draining, it’s toxic. Surround yourself with people who add positive, not negative, energy to your life.

5) Lack of trust

Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Without it, you’re building a castle on quicksand. I learned this the hard way when dealing with a distrustful friend.

From the beginning, she seemed to always be suspicious of my intentions, questioning my every move.

When I complimented her, she seemed wary, as if she wasn’t sure if I was making fun of her. The well-intentioned suggestions were met with great astonishment.

At first, I felt bad, wondering if I was saying the wrong things. But over time, I realized that she was interpreting my intentions based on her own.

You wouldn’t suspect someone of lying to you in a situation where you never would – so if a person seems unable to trust you, it indicates their suspicious ways.

If you always have to prove your loyalty, honesty, or integrity, you have to question what kind of friendship or relationship you really have.

6) Intolerance

In a world as beautifully diverse as ours, bigotry sticks out like a sore thumb. I once knew someone who couldn’t help but express his own narrow opinions, making derogatory comments about people’s race, religion, or lifestyle.

At first, I dismissed it as “old-fashioned,” thinking he would come around, or that he had a very strong way of expressing himself. But let’s call it what it is: toxic.

This goes beyond just political correctness. It is human decency.

If you find yourself making excuses for someone’s biases simply because they are a friend or family member, it may be time to reevaluate.

Intolerance is not just a personality flaw; It’s a corrosive attitude that can affect everyone around them.

Remember, you become the average of the people you spend the most time with. Choose to be around those who celebrate diversity, not those who try to squash it into a box.

7) Revenge

Have you ever had that person in your life who seems to be keeping a mental scorecard?

They may not be able to let go of past wrongs, whether real or imagined, and you notice that they always find hidden ways to take revenge on people.

I knew someone like that. It wasn’t direct retaliation, but little things – mean remarks, passive-aggressive comments, or mysteriously leaving people out of plans or opportunities.

It’s unsettling when you realize that someone rejoices in someone else’s downfall. And if they are willing to go after others, there is a possibility that they will target this retaliation against you one day.

It indicates a very dark way of thinking. A vindictive person tends to look at life through the lens of scores they want to settle, rather than opportunities for growth or repair.

While everyone makes mistakes and can find it difficult to overcome something, there are limits. After all, relationships should lift us up, not make us constantly look over our shoulders.

8) Emotional fluctuations

Another type of toxic person is someone whose mood swings like a pendulum, making everyone around them on their toes. One minute they’re the life of the party, and the next, they’re upset by a small comment someone made.

It’s like riding an emotional rollercoaster – you never know which version of it you’ll get, and what’s waiting just around the corner.

Ultimately, this puts you on high alert when you’re around them, ready to defuse the next emotional situation.

It drains your energy, and you may soon become an emotional dumping ground for them, or a target for their frustrations or annoyance.

Obviously it’s hard to have your emotions all over the place, but it’s even worse for everyone around you. It injects instability into relationships and makes open and honest communication a minefield.

So, if you find yourself always bracing for the next emotional outburst from someone in your life, ask yourself if that’s the kind of energy you want to be around.

My friend Sam – what now?

If you notice these traits in someone close to you, you are likely suffering from a heavy heart right now. Trust me, I’ve been there. Realizing that a friend or loved one is toxic is painful, but it’s the first step in protecting your safety.

So, what should you do? First, set healthy boundaries. Decide what you can and can’t afford. It’s okay to put distance between you and the person in question.

But also remember that people can change. If the relationship is valuable to you, consider having an open and honest discussion. Sometimes, pointing out these behaviors is the wake-up call someone needs.

At the same time, it is important to remember that you cannot change a person, he must want to change himself. If you find that nothing is improving and you are constantly drained, it may be time to think about whether this relationship has a place in your life.

The truth is that maintaining your mental and emotional health should always come first. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is walk away from toxicity and never look back.

My friend Sam – what now?

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