When we think of a master manipulator, we think of some creepy and malevolent puppeteer, orchestrating their schemes in the shadows and pulling the strings of worthless puppets.
However, these malevolent individuals are often difficult to spot.
Master manipulators are skilled at disguising themselves. They hide behind a facade of magic, enchant us and gradually infiltrate every aspect of our lives.
Regardless of their basic motivations, they share a common goal: to exercise control and influence over others.
The tools and techniques they use to do this are often harsh and harsh, even if they don’t seem that way on the surface.
If you suspect a master manipulator, it’s time to hone your manipulation detection skills.
Are you ready to strengthen your defenses? Let’s explore 8 key behaviors that reveal the true nature of these manipulators.
1) Love bombing
Master manipulators are masters of excessive flattery and charm, known as love bombing.
They invest a lot of time and effort in raising you, only to later drop you from the pedestal they have built.
Their charisma and charm are expertly crafted to capture your heart and make you swoon, making you feel like the most treasured person in their world.
“You are simply the most amazing and beautiful person I have ever met. I can’t believe my luck in finding you! I feel like we are soulmates!”
2) Targeted compliments and compliments
Once they have an overview of what interests you (they’ve probably stalked every inch of your social media and studied you like an animal in a zoo).
Think Netflix style you.
These manipulators will be very capable of complimenting you in ways that capture the things you realize and bring you so much joy that you can’t help but start to adore them.
Related : 15 subtle signs you’re dealing with a manipulative friend
Let’s say you’re a little insecure about your cooking.
“Honestly, I’m shocked. I’ve never met a better cook. You must have been pulling my leg when you said you couldn’t. You could be a chef!”
News flash: Your soup is disgusting.
They’re not just being nice to you; They are trying to trick you and win you over.
3) Over-sharing and de-traumatization
To create a foundation for manipulation, these cunning manipulators need to gain your trust first. How else would you fall in love with them if you didn’t trust them in the first place?
They go beyond flattery, offering intimate glimpses into their lives (which are also often fabricated lies or exaggerations), all shared at a very early stage in the relationship.
Drowning in shock, which is fine at some points — when it’s not being done by someone trying to manipulate you — but it’s still not the healthiest topic of conversation.
They reveal their deepest, darkest secrets, which makes you feel sad and start to pity them, making you more likely to forgive any mistakes in the future.
Moreover, you feel proud that they shared this painful experience with you.
You feel trusted, seen, and worthy, which leads to a deeper power imbalance.
4) Gas lighting
Masters of deception, manipulators weave complex webs of lies and are masters of gas.
As mentioned earlier, they may embellish or completely fabricate elements of their life stories.
They often portray themselves as the victim no matter what, or they completely make up lies that portray them as rich or deserving of your pity or sympathy.
Whatever fits their narrative at the time.
In addition, they display a remarkable ability to manipulate your perception of reality by suggesting that you are misremembering, or that you are too sensitive, making you doubt your memory and sanity.
The conversations will look like this:
“I never said that! You were pretty drunk and have a tendency to exaggerate, let’s be real here.”
And even if you know you’re right, when it happens over and over again and you trust them so much, you even start to doubt yourself…
5) Actions that never match words
Manipulators excel at making great promises but achieving really poor results.
They will promise you the world; Golden apples, diamond rings, eternal love, etc.
Instead you’ll end up crying for days in bed. Or in treatment.
When it comes to actions being more important than words, pay attention.
They’ll probably offer to do a lot, but when it comes to actual execution, they’re nowhere to be found…
Suddenly, there’s an excuse.
emergency.
Or gaslighting – they never agreed to do it in the first place, you liar, oh my, aren’t you demanding!
6) Double everything you achieve
A puppeteer couldn’t be raped by his own puppets now, could he?
These manipulators seek the limelight, and will do everything in their power to obscure your achievements and difficulties.
Once you get out of the love bombing phase and get your attention, you will never again be able to receive a decent, honest amount of praise.
You might say, “I’m so happy! I got promoted today, despite all the competition.”
And forget to pat yourself on the back.
You’ll be met with something along the lines of, “That’s nice. I think they had to fill the diversity/gender quota, right?”
(Try laughing at what is a ridiculous and insulting statement.)
And if you dare try to fight back, you’ll be told that you’re too cold, frozen, and incapable of taking a joke. More fool you.
7) Find your buttons and press them
Having gained your trust and delved into your life history, manipulators will exploit your weaknesses; Use your fears and personal revelations as ammunition.
Did I mention that you don’t feel comfortable in jeans, but you have the courage to wear cute denim?
“Oh. Interesting. Not my favorite, but good for you…”
Certainly, this is the tip of the iceberg and can be interpreted as being for your well-being.
But it’s getting worse.
They will pick at and tear apart what they know to be your weaknesses—be it your size, intelligence, or personality—until all that’s left is an empty shell.
8) Isolating you from everyone
It is much easier to manipulate a lonely person.
This is why large predators such as lions hunt down individual zebras to demolish them.
It works great in the animal kingdom (if you’re not the prey).
In a similar way, manipulators will try to cut you off from your support network in a subtle but subtle way – casting doubt on your relationships through fake news.
Their ultimate goal is to ensure that you rely on them alone for emotional support, and that you have no one to turn to.
Suddenly your friends are gossiping behind your back. Your mother hates you. Your colleagues said you were strange.
Part of you knows this can’t be true, but the other part trusts the manipulator so much, you take his word for it and sever all further ties.
What to do if you suspect a manipulator is on the loose
If you suspect you’re dealing with a master manipulator, it’s time to head for the hills.
(Only if it is safe to do so – please consider these resources if you need additional support and it is not safe to leave.)
Master manipulators tend to prey on their targets through a calculated sequence of building trust and then systematically undermining it.
They exploit their victims’ vulnerabilities and undermine their self-confidence, making them feel trapped, insecure and dependent solely on the manipulator.
And yes, I know it can be hard to let go of someone you’ve left – but remember that it’s never your responsibility to change or save someone else.
Your safety is always of utmost importance.
If you identify someone who is extremely manipulative and your attempts to address the problem only result in you feeling hurt and weak, it is best to walk away from the relationship.
Leaving may not be easy, as manipulators tend to cling on and try desperately to win over anyone who tries to leave, but educate yourself about their tactics, stay vigilant, and focus on your self-worth.
