You’ve been with someone who seems great for a while now.

You might be dating, or maybe you’re married.

But as much as you’d like to think you’re happy with them, something doesn’t seem right.

You’ve noticed that they’re very good at seducing people.

So you’re wondering—are you with a manipulator?

10 Behaviors That Say “Yes!”

1) They Act Like Your Hero

For manipulators to “work their magic,” they must earn your trust.

One way they do this is by building themselves up as someone you can trust.

“I’m here for you.”

“You can always count on me.”

And the amazing thing is, they always follow through on what they say.

Now, this alone isn’t a red flag and shouldn’t be taken as one.

What you want to watch out for is when they start saying things like “Remember, I was there for you.”

Or “No one else will care about you like I do.”

That’s a red flag!

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That’s your sign that they’re not your hero, and they never have been. They simply approach you because they want to wrap their fingers around you.

2) They make you feel like you’re their hero

They say things like:

“Oh, what would I do without you?”

“You’ve changed my life!”

“You mean the world to me!”

A lot!

As before, there’s nothing wrong with someone saying things like this. Some people are expressive and grateful.

But praise can be used as a tool of manipulation.

The truth is, that we naturally tend to give special treatment to people who make us feel special.

We can easily end up not noticing when they do something bad, for example, or even making excuses for them when we see they’re doing something we don’t like.

So, if someone is going to great lengths to compliment you and make you the center of their world?

Take it as a warning sign.

Don’t ignore it completely just yet, but be wary.

3) He spoils you too much

People usually like to compliment others before asking for help or saying anything that might upset them.

This is something we tend to accept as normal, but it is a form of manipulation if you think about it.

It makes sense that professional manipulators do this too.

What makes them professional manipulators is that they are good at it. They have learned the art!

They don’t buy you ice cream and then try to get you to babysit their dog for the weekend.

Instead, they buy you gifts, follow through on promises, and get you whatever they want without any strings attached.

Then weeks or months later, they start asking you for more and more. They start to be more demanding, and you simply can’t say no.

How can you, after treating you so well for so long?

4) They make you feel bad because you “don’t love them enough”

Whenever they want you to do something for them, they say something like “Do you still love me? You don’t do things for me anymore!”

They don’t even care if you’re busy or tired – if they want your attention, they’ll complain and ask if you’ve stopped loving them.

Being with them makes you feel like you have to keep proving your love to them, over and over again.

It’s like they’re constantly insecure, and you have to assuage that insecurity every second of every day.

What they do is hold your emotions hostage. They use “Do you love me?” as a way to get you to do what they want.

5) They minimize your concerns

It’s normal for conflicts to happen in a relationship.

Maybe they haven’t spent as much time with you as you’d like, or maybe you feel like they’ve been too controlling.

In any healthy relationship, people acknowledge their problems and talk about them.

It can take a while sometimes because people can be very stubborn, but problems are acknowledged and dealt with.

But when you’re with a manipulative person, that doesn’t happen. Manipulators never admit a mistake unless it gives them an advantage.

What they’ll do instead is minimize your concerns.

They’ll try to make you feel like you’re upset over nothing, or that you’re making a mountain out of an anthill by overreacting to a problem.

Master manipulators are so good at this that you might convince yourself that you’re being emotional and overreacting if you’re not aware of what they’re doing.

6) They want you to prioritize your relationship all the time

They don’t like spending time with other people.

You can almost feel their mood sinking when you tell them you want to see your family or spend time with your friends.

They might say things like “You never spend time with me anymore!” or “But you always spend time with them!”

But if you think about it, you’ll find that’s not true.

The reason they act this way is simple. They want you to care about them. To spend all your time with them.

As far as they’re concerned, everyone else is a competitor for your attention.

7) They try to keep you away from the people you love

Friends and family aren’t just competitors for your time and attention. They’re also obstacles that keep them from completely controlling you.

When people start abusing their partners, they often turn to their friends and family for protection.

So they’ll try to keep you away from your friends and family.

They can do this by gaining the trust of other people in your life, and they can do this by making you distrust people who were once close to you.

Particularly good manipulators can do both at the same time and never leave you without any escape.

8) They have a lot of relationship “rules”

It can be a bit stressful with them.

They have a lot of “rules” about how people should behave in a relationship.

They try to set firm definitions of what you should or should not do as their partner, what they should be to you, and what your friends should be like.

Something some people might say, for example, is that you shouldn’t have male friends if you’re a girl in a relationship.

They might try to pass it off as “setting boundaries,” but if you take a step back, it’s controlling you.

What’s worse is that they often find excuses why these rules don’t always apply to them.

9) They twist your words to make you look like the bad guy
A great manipulator is adept at twisting your words to play the victim.

The tactic of denying the accusations and then flipping the story to make the other person look bad is something manipulators love.

Manipulators who have been at it long enough to be considered “masters” are very adept at twisting the narrative.

They don’t always have to do the opposite themselves.

They just need to say the right thing and they will convince you that you are the bad guy.

You may still have a residual feeling of “But I was right, I guess?” but they still manage to put you in an awkward position.

10) They make decisions for you (and say it’s for your good!)

They do things for you without asking you first – like buying a life insurance policy that you didn’t agree to.

When you confront them about it, they say “But that’s because I care about you!”

They always have “good intentions” but that’s not the point.

The point is that they control you. It’s not just annoying, it’s dangerous.

People who are like this are often those who are used to manipulating the people around them.

Who knows, you might find them risking your life savings and saying “It’s for your good.”

Listen. You should always have the final say in every decision you make – period.

What to Do

If you realize you’re with a manipulative person, here are the things you should do:

• Make sure you have a support system. Friends and family you can trust and who won’t be manipulated.
• Trust your judgment. Manipulators achieve their goals because they’re good at making their victims doubt themselves.
• Identify your weaknesses. Think about what they’ve exploited to control you, and what you can do about it.
• Be assertive. You don’t always have to say “yes,” and it’s not a crime to say “no.” Someone who can’t handle a little rejection doesn’t deserve to be in your life.
• Stay focused. Look beyond their words and excuses, and instead pay attention to their actions. Manipulators are good at appearing reasonable, but their actions will still betray them.

Final Thoughts

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you ever realize you’ve been with a skilled manipulator.

They’re professionals for a reason—many of them are hard to spot even when you know what to look for.

The important thing is to identify the problem and take steps to get yourself back to a safer place, mentally and physically.

But here’s the tricky thing: many of them aren’t bad people or narcissists. Let’s face it—even you use manipulation tactics from time to time (we all do).