Here’s a secret no man will ever tell you: He’s not a fan of “sharing.”
Well, not in the first few months of dating anyway.
This can be especially true if he’s really into you!
You see, at the beginning of your relationship, his goal is simply to impress you. So he plays to his strengths and hides his weaknesses with all his might.
He also needs time to figure out his true feelings for you, and whether you’re someone he can see himself with.
Once he realizes that you’re the one for him, he slowly opens up and reveals more intimate details about his life.
So, do you want to know if your man sees you as the one?
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Try to remember if he’s already revealed these eight things to you!
1) Childhood Trauma
Guys don’t tell every girl they meet about their past hurts—especially the ones that cut deep.
Not only are they afraid of being turned off, but it’s also emotionally draining to bring up the past and talk about things that carry so much weight for them.
So, if the guy you’re dating opens up about his childhood traumas?
Well, that means he sees you as special.
And if he says he doesn’t share that with a lot of people, he probably thinks you’re the one!
2) Family Drama
When you’re dating someone new, it’s natural to want him to think you have a great relationship with your friends and family.
So, it makes sense that you’d only reveal after you’ve been dating someone for a while that some of your friends are idiots, and that your family can be kind of toxic.
Why?
Well, the prospect of being judged can be scary for a guy, or anyone.
Some guys may fear that it will cost them “marriage material” because you’re marrying into each other’s families, after all.
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So, if your guy shares his complicated family life with you, he probably sees you as a real partner.
He wants to be transparent with you, so you can decide if you want to be with him — regardless of the messy relationships and family drama.
3) His Wildest Dreams
A lot of men have fragile egos.
They avoid talking about their dreams for fear that it will make them look pathetic.
Besides, what if they never achieve them?
Then everyone will think they are losers!
So, they only reveal the dreams they have already achieved, or at least the ones that are within reach.
But if he lowers his guard and tells you what his heart desires – I’m talking about impossible, almost childish dreams like being a rock star – then you should be special.
More importantly, he should feel safe with you.
He trusts that you won’t judge him, because he sees you as the right person.
In his mind, you are his partner for life, so it’s best that you know these things because you will be the ones to support each other in achieving your dreams – big and small.
4) His Biggest Regrets
When you’ve only been in a relationship for a short time, he might say “nothing” if you ask him about his regrets in life.
But once he realizes you’re the one, he’ll tell you.
He might be the one to bring it up, like, “Remember when you asked me what my biggest regret was? Well actually…”
A serious man wants a relationship that’s real and not burdened with secrets.
He’s taken his time, and now that he’s realized you’re the one, he wants to open up to you about his life.
Not out of guilt because everyone has a right to privacy, but because he wants to develop a more intimate relationship with you.
5) His Biggest Fears
Real men aren’t afraid of anything.
Or at least that’s what toxic masculinity would have you believe.
After years of conditioning on this kind of rhetoric, it’s no surprise that many men will hide their biggest fears, especially if those fears might be considered “trivial” or “unmanly” — like not being able to save for a house.
But if a man sees you as the right person (and trusts you and believes in your kindness), he’ll share his fears with you.
Especially the ones he’s trying to hide from everyone.
He now considers you his safe place – someone to comfort him rather than judge him.
6) How much is in his bank account?
Oh, money!
Of course, it’s a necessity. And it can be very important, especially for men.
Almost all the men I know want to be seen as “the source.” They think that if they have money problems or if they earn less, girls will be turned off.
And there’s another problem: when a man has a lot of money.
These men are careful not to reveal how much they make. They don’t want a partner who will be with them just because they’re rich. They worry that their comfortable money will change the dynamics of their relationship, too.
But if a man is sure that you’re the one, all of these concerns go away.
He’ll reveal everything down to the last penny.
He’ll tell you about his income, his savings, and his debts.
He’ll try to work with you so that you can achieve financial stability together.
Ultimately, you’ll build a life as a couple… and money is a key factor in every step.
7) His Unpopular Views
Every guy wants the girl he dates to think he’s cool… again, at least for the first few dates.
He won’t argue with you, and he’ll avoid religious and political topics.
He won’t express unpopular opinions that might make you want to think, “Oh, is my boyfriend a creep?!”
They want you to believe that you think the same way!
But once the honeymoon phase is over and they start to realize that you’re the one for them, they start to reveal more of who they are.
Not just because they’re tired of pretending, but because they genuinely feel that you deserve a chance to fully evaluate their personality.
And if you find that you don’t agree with their principles, you can move on and find someone who’s a better fit for you.
But he’ll say it anyway because if you still love him despite having some weird ideas and opinions, he’ll know that you have a chance to take your relationship to the next level.
8) Things He’s Not Proud Of
He cheated on his exams when he was in high school.
He accidentally killed a pet when he was eight.
He once tried drugs and went to work while high on drugs.
Or—oh my!—he went to strip clubs.
Some guys never reveal these things to their partners, and that’s okay (unless it’s something malicious, of course).
But once your man realizes you’re the one for him, he can’t help but reveal his past, and even current, crimes.
He’ll also share his deepest fears.
Why?
Because some guys want to be loved for who they are, especially once they find the right person.
He doesn’t need you to tell him he’s still great.
For him, being a life partner means seeing the other person for who they are, and embracing every part of them.
Final Thoughts
While it’s ideal to show your true self (and I mean, really put it on the table) at the beginning of a relationship, there’s no denying that it’s not the easiest thing to do.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that a man is cheating or deceiving you if he doesn’t reveal these things to you.
It’s just that some things take time.
So, listen to him, give him the space he needs, and thank him when he reveals important parts of his life.
Assure him that you won’t use it against him and that you’ll instead use what you’ve learned to understand him better so that you can be better partners for each other.
