If there is a man in your life with whom you have developed a close relationship, pay attention to the things he says to determine the type of person he is. Unfortunately, women often fall prey to the vindictive, manipulative red flags that some men try to frame as love when in reality they are quite the opposite.
One woman took to TikTok to share her insights into incompetent men and advise other women to stay away from them, based on her own relationship experiences.
Sarah Bisbee shared 12 phrases frequently used by men that connote their toxic behavior that women should stay away from.
- “You are out of my league.”
If a man admits he’s out of your league, he’s probably right. Men like to use this phrase as a compliment to flatter women, but on the contrary, it reveals their incompetence.
This statement is a sign of insecurity, and this man is counting on you for validation.
Related: 8 Tiny Warning Signs You’re Married To A Sociopath
- “I just don’t want to hurt you.”
If a guy anticipates any opportunity to hurt you, he’ll probably do it, if he hasn’t already. If he didn’t want to hurt you, he wouldn’t. Men like to use their words to justify their actions, but actions always speak louder than words.
- “Think about what you want.”
Unfortunately, some men suffer from low emotional intelligence, which explains their inability to understand the thoughts and feelings of their partners. “Think what you want” is a common phrase you will hear when a man refuses to admit he is wrong and may be hiding something.
“He’s only saying that because he knows he just got caught doing something he shouldn’t have done,” Bisbee revealed. “He’s trying to play a little mind trick and gaslight you.”
Men who use this phrase are unable to take responsibility for their actions and will instead try to blame their flawed perception to make you feel like you are crazy.
Related: 7 Reasons You Can’t Get The Closure You Need From A Sociopath
- “All my exes are crazy.”
While there are a fair percentage of “crazy” couples out there, if a guy tells you that his ex (or worse, all of his ex-girlfriends) are crazy, there’s a good chance he’s wrong.
According to Mint Lounge, men calling women crazy is a sign of “casual sexism,” and implies that they don’t respect or empathize with their needs. Men will resort to calling women crazy to dismiss their feelings, so be careful of the context behind a man claiming his exes are crazy.
- “If we break up, I will leave my future partner for you.”
While this may be disguised as a compliment, it is a huge red flag and a sign of immaturity. Declaring to leave a future partner to come back with you is a bold statement and indicates an impulsive and reckless nature. It also represents a man’s inability to see beyond his current thinking.
It is immature to believe that a man claiming he will leave another woman for you is a sign of his devotion to you. This statement in itself proves his traitorous nature.
A man who values and respects you will not make such unrealistic claims. Rather, he will work to build a future with you. Once again, actions speak louder than words.
Related: What To Do When The Sweetheart You Married Becomes A Jerk Later On
- “You deserve someone much better than me.”
If a man confesses this to you, this indicates his low self-esteem and unwillingness to change for the better – and he is likely right. Your initial response to hearing that is probably to suggest otherwise, but all it does is convince you to settle for less than you deserve.
Insecure men love to use phrases like these and frame them as words of love and endearment, but all that does is expose their inadequacy.
- “I don’t think I’m good enough for you.”
When a man says this to you, it means he is not willing to step up to be good enough for you. Men usually use this phrase to cover up their fears. Take this as a sign to walk away from a relationship that will only drag you down.
“He’s telling himself that he already knows he’s not good enough for you and will likely do something to jeopardize the relationship,” Bisbee explained.
If a man wants to be good enough, he will do everything in his power to be. If he truly feels infatuated with you, he will show his love for you in every possible way, and you will feel it.
Related: 11 Honest Signs Your Parents Might Not Love You The Right Way
- “I don’t even know what a narcissist is.”
If a man claims he doesn’t know what a narcissist is, that’s a clear sign of denial – who doesn’t know what a narcissist is? He lies through his teeth to hide his narcissism.
He is likely constantly trying to rationalize and rationalize his behavior and actions, making himself a victim and denying any accountability. Know the signs of this type of manipulation.
- “I cheated in my previous relationships only because I never loved a girl like you before.”
First, if you’re dating a serial cheater, expect to be disappointed.
Even if he admits that your love is different, cheaters reuse the same bad excuses with every girl. If he has cheated on you in previous relationships, it is undeniable that he will cheat on you.
- “I’ve never met someone like you before.”
This is a common phrase used in many relationships, and it has both positive and negative connotations, but the general use of this phrase is overrated. If a man says this to you, you’re probably not the first woman to hear it from him.
If the context of this phrase is used specifically by a man who is trying to get rid of his toxic behavior by pointing out how special you are, this is a manipulative tactic to compliment you and bombard you with love until you stay.
Related: 11 Honest Signs Your Parents Might Not Love You The Right Way
- “I can’t believe someone like you would be interested in someone like me.”
If you’re constantly hearing a man remind you of how amazing he is with someone like you, he’s showering you with excessive praise to force you to stay with him, but it must be having the opposite effect.
This is because not only does he realize his incompetence, but he openly admits it to you over and over again. Take this as a sign that you shouldn’t settle for someone who already sees themselves as less than you.
- “I need you in my life to make me a better person.”
This phrase is the worst of all – you should never keep a man in your life because he claims that you are helping to make him a better person. If a man says this to you, he is not worthy of your healing energy.
Women unfortunately tend to attract men who need healing, but it is not their job to save or fix them. All this will do is drain your pure energy. Keep these energy vampires away from you, because they will only contribute to pain and misery in your life.
If you’ve heard any of these phrases before, Bisbee highly suggests “running.”
It can be difficult to determine what constitutes toxic behavior and what are just flaws that can be worked on, but one thing you can always identify is when a man is truly trying his best to be the best version of himself for you. If he uses any of these phrases regularly, he’s not good for you.
It’s hard to walk away once you’ve become emotionally invested and already attached, which can lead to an emotional trauma bond with someone. But once you realize the red flags, you have to take care of your sanity, even if it means walking away from someone you want to believe in. You know you deserve the best, and you are likely to find so much more. Peace of mind for yourself.
It’s time for women to stand up to the outdated phrases that men use to hide their incompetence. Evaluate the way a man treats you and how you feel, and if it’s anything other than unconditional love and support, don’t accept.
