I have a problem: I don’t love my girlfriend anymore.
But I also have a solution: I’m going to break up with her very soon and say goodbye forever.
I want to explain what led me to this decision and help you decide if it’s the right decision for you too.
I Don’t Love My Girlfriend Anymore: 9 Reasons to Break Up For Good
1) My Girlfriend Is Too Annoying and Critical
The biggest reason I don’t like my girlfriend anymore is because she’s so annoying and critical.
Everything I do she’s there tweeting at me about why I’m wrong or bad or stupid.
Even when I’m away from her she somehow seems to know everything I do.
She hits me with these passive-aggressive text messages that drive me crazy.
Yesterday I was at the grocery store when I bought this:
“Make sure you don’t buy that cheap bread again, I know you will (wink). Remember we’re trying to diet.
Just… oh my god.
I think it would be funny if she was cute. But her attempts to pretend to be joking when she’s pooping on me are so annoying!
I’m sick of her behavior and her problems. She needs to deal with them herself: they’re not my problem.
2) My girlfriend makes me feel bad about myself
The second main reason I don’t like my girlfriend anymore is because she makes me feel bad about myself.
I firmly believe that no one else is to blame for my feelings about myself, and I take responsibility for my emotional state.
But at the same time, I can’t help but objectively notice that she constantly belittles me, undermines my goals, emphasizes my failures, and makes me feel like a total loser.
I want to be a winner and I want to be surrounded by positive people And optimists.
It’s the complete opposite, and I’ve become an emotional parasite who exploits any little scraps of success and happiness I find to tell me why I don’t deserve it or why I’m going to ruin it soon.
All this drama has made me refocus my energy…
The truth is, that most of us ignore a very important element in our lives:
The relationship we have with ourselves.
I learned about this from shaman Ruda Iande. In his free, real-life video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you the tools to put yourself at the center of your world.
He covers some of the major mistakes most of us make in our relationships, like codependent habits and unhealthy expectations. Mistakes most of us make without even realizing it.
Why do I recommend Ruda’s life-changing advice?
Well, he uses techniques drawn from ancient shamanic teachings, but he adds his modern twist. He may be a shaman, but his experiences in love weren’t all that different from mine and yours.
Until he found a way to overcome these common issues. And that’s what he wants to share with you.
So if you’re ready to make that change today and cultivate healthy, loving relationships that you know you deserve, check out his simple, honest advice.
Click here to watch the free video.
3) My Girlfriend Doesn’t Make Me Feel Anything Physically
Another big reason I don’t like my girlfriend anymore is that she doesn’t make me feel any physical attraction.
When I say anything, I mean… anything.
I look at her and see an average-looking woman in her early 30s and… that’s all I see.
I would be happier if I saw a random model in the Sears catalog (do they still make those?)
The last time we had sex was over a month ago, of course, but the sad thing is that I don’t care (or remember exactly) when it happened because I’m not excited about having sex with her.
I’ve thought about cheating (a lot) and I don’t want to be that guy who does it while he’s in a fake relationship.
I admit that another part of the reason is that I don’t want to feel like her bad behavior toward me is justified, and if I cheated on her, it would be kind of justified.
So I’m holding myself back. And I’m feeling worse and worse.
Why don’t I want to have sex with my girlfriend? I know it sounds weird.
All I can say is that even though she’s still superficially attractive, my declining feelings for her have made me less interested in making love to her.
I feel like she’s an annoying roommate, and I’m stuck with her and can’t wait to get out.
I don’t want to put my penis inside an annoying roommate: do you want to?
4) My girlfriend no longer makes me feel any emotional attraction
Next up is emotional attraction and attachment.
It should be part of any relationship if you ask me: romantic or non-romantic.
This is especially true when you’re in love and ready to live with someone.
But my girlfriend no longer makes me feel any emotional attraction.
When we first met last year, I found her cheerful: I was charmed by her laugh, her intelligence, and the way she saw the world.
Now this makes me cringe.
She makes me feel so sad and I consider her one of the most immature and misguided people I have ever met.
“You shouldn’t be with anyone who makes you unhappy.
People-pleasers tend to stay in a relationship even if there is a reason why they should leave,” writes Michelle Devaney.
“That doesn’t make these guys bad at love; they just want everyone around them to be happy.
If you’re a guy like this, you should think about what makes you truly happy and full of joy.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself…
I don’t expect my life to be perfect or drama-free by any means. But I do expect to be with someone I truly want to be with.
5) My Girlfriend Talks Bad About Me Behind My Back
Now we get to the bad stuff, the TV sitcom bits.
The main reason I don’t like my girlfriend anymore is because at some point she thought it was okay to talk bad about me behind my back. That’s toxic!
I’m not sure what prompted her to do this, but once it became clear that she was dragging me down for fun with her friends, I got pissed.
I’m not overly sensitive or anything, but I’m not here to be a jokester on Instagram.
Yes, I fart. Sometimes it’s funny.
Yes, I sweat a lot. Maybe I have a disorder.
But my girlfriend also does some things that aren’t exactly Instagram story-appropriate.
Does anyone else have huge, annoying clumps of hair in their drain? PMS that would make a medieval witch blush?
I don’t joke about these things with my friends, because I’m not an idiot.
But she never misses an opportunity to put me down behind my back. I’m lucky to have sources within her circle of friends (one in particular) who tell me about this dirty talk that’s going on…
The more I hear my girlfriend talk about me when I’m not around, the more I realize who she is beneath the surface.
6) My girlfriend falsely accuses me of cheating all the time
Regarding what I mentioned earlier about cheating, my girlfriend accuses me of doing it all the time.
I have never cheated on her (yet). I can promise you that completely.
As I said, I don’t want to cheat on her: I’d rather break up with her than live a lie.
But her constant accusations are hurtful and annoying. They also make me think about cheating when I haven’t thought about it.
If we get within 100 feet of an attractive woman, my girlfriend starts throwing me all sorts of crazy sideways glances like I’m the devil.
Then I have to play the game of pretending I didn’t even notice the perfect person #10 who just wandered across the food court at the mall or walked into the store we were at.
Fun times.
I know some insecurities make my girlfriend suspicious and possessive.
At first, I was understanding, but now I’m sick of it.
I’m not her therapist, I’m her friend. I’m sick of trying to be both.
7) A big part of why I’m with her is because of isolation due to the pandemic
I met my girlfriend at the beginning of the pandemic.
When things got a little more serious, I was caught up in everything that was happening and other issues at my job that were tied to Covid restrictions.
The relationship with her started to take off and I thought, “Why not?”
Well, now I know why not.
RELATED:8 subtle ways you’re lowering your standards without realizing it
I feel like I’m living in a horror movie that’s been mislabeled as a romance.
Whenever I hang out with her, I want to scream at strangers to help me and call the “love police” to rescue me:
“Help! I’m trapped with a psychopath who’s trying to crush my soul!”
Of course, there is no love police.
And there’s no punishment for trying to crush someone’s soul (there should be).
As Mary Grace Garris notes, “Even if you’re not in the happiest of relationships or you realize that the person you’re with isn’t your forever partner, it’s understandable that a part of you might want to cling to the good things now.”
I can understand how this happened and why isolation made me cling to someone who wasn’t good for me.
But now I want to get out.
8) My Girlfriend Is Emotionally Abusive
My girlfriend is a bully. Not only does she make fun of me in front of her friends, but she also loves to see me suffer through bad luck and disappointment.
I’ve been trying to get a job for four months, and I found out last week that she wasn’t getting it.
She was in the best mood I’ve seen her in all year.
I asked her why and she said, “There’s no reason.”
How awful.
I know this sounds crazy, but I’m pretty sure she was just making fun of my bad news.
On the contrary, whenever she wins in life, I’m there cheering her on. Or at least I am.
Now I’m standing in the background, scowling.
Add up all the criticism, undermining, and manipulation, and there’s only one conclusion: my girlfriend is emotionally abusive.
9) My Girlfriend Is an Emotionally Manipulative Narcissist
In addition to being emotionally abusive, one specific way my girlfriend makes my life much worse is through her emotional manipulation.
When she’s in a bad mood, I have to take responsibility for it.
Even if it has nothing to do with me, she dumps everything on me.
This started only a few months into our relationship and it’s exhausting and immature.
She only cares about herself and makes me know that any interest in my goals and priorities is selfish and unacceptable.
I still care about her, which is why it’s so devastating when she uses her emotional state to manipulate me.
I feel like I’m a puppet on a string.
Because if she tells me to go one way or do something, I feel compelled to do it.
It’s frustrating, and that’s why even though I’m still sometimes amazed by her beauty and the connection we used to have, I no longer love my girlfriend.
