The fact that for so long you had no idea what you were dealing with led to you engaging in predictable behavior. This behavior is one we regularly rely on to keep you in the dark. I have pointed out the different traits we look for in those who make the victims most useful to us.
One of these traits relates to your ability to try to find the good in everyone and everything. This is a typical empathic trait, and all of the other traits she possesses make her flash onto our radar when we’re looking for an excellent primary source. Your desire to see the good means that it obscures your ability to see the bad or perhaps more accurately, to accept the bad.
Related: 15 Reasons Narcissists and Sociopaths Lie
How your emotional thinking makes excuses for what the narcissist does, so you stay invested in them
This is how your emotional thinking annoys you again and makes you fail to see what is really going on, and how you make excuses for the behavior. Your emotional thinking longs to interact with us, it is selfish and wants to experience all the “good” that comes from us and convince you to ignore the bad. Your emotional thinking doesn’t want you to admit what’s really going on and get out of the relationship.
Your emotional reasoning wants to silence logic so that it cannot be heard and makes you overlook the bad in the hope of bringing back the good again.
Thus, your emotional reasoning will cause you to issue excuse after excuse for what we’re doing, keeping you invested in the relationship with us. Accordingly, your emotional thinking continues to control you.
Those who empathize are the ones who experience this influence from their emotional thinking. They are persuaded to consider their actions selfless, a reflection of how they want to see the ‘good’ in people, how they allocate what is allowed and tolerate – but when you are trapped in our species, all that happens is that you are prevented, by your emotional reasoning, from Seeing what is really happening that hurts you.
Of course, while it’s happening, you can’t see it happening because emotional thinking dulls your insight. Occasionally, logic may make itself heard (only to be ignored) as you notice that certain behavior is unacceptable but your emotional reasoning rises again and overwhelms that logic before it can gain a foothold in your mind.
Emotional reasoning whispers justify you and it’s easier to accept that than to go down the path of stony logic.
Thus your emotional reasoning makes you blind to the truth and only later when you are punched in the face by a brutal honesty gauntlet do you finally care about logic and realize too late how you were deceived. It happens again and again and it’s all because of your emotional thinking taking over your thoughts.
This is something we like because it prevents you from realizing what really happens to you once the devaluation of your currency begins. We of course like to work from a position of plausible deniability, we try ambiguity because we have fun and we need to get around and around in order to get what we want.
If you saw everything so stark and clear as I am now describing our machinations to you, you would be more inclined to flee from us and bring about this unwanted interruption of our primary source of fuel. It will also make it more difficult to apply these hooves when we want to bring you back into the fold and get you involved in our cyclical endeavours again.
We repeatedly present to you the reality of who we are but although we present it in front of you, we do not allow you to see it clearly. We draw veils across certain elements, put up a smokescreen, obscure some parts, and distort others. The truth is right in front of you.
It is plain and clear but because of the way we intentionally manipulate you, you are not able to see it. It’s akin to pointing to a ship on the horizon. It is clear for us to see but when we give you a telescope to get a better look at this bowl, we may smear the lens with something that distorts the view, or we put our finger on a part of the lens that obscures your view.
The result of this distortion is to prevent you from seeing who we really are. This, in turn, means that you are unable to form a clear and coherent view of the person who has taken possession of you. This becomes infuriating to others we couldn’t possibly drag into our facade, but who are acutely aware of who we are.
These monitors tell you what you are dealing with. They may be wary, at first, hoping not to offend your feelings, but over time their growing exasperation leads them to come out and say it outright. However, such frankness rarely finds any luck with you because you don’t like being told something about someone as amazing as us (or at least someone who was awesome).
You don’t like to think that the golden age is over. You don’t like being denied the idea that what you once had will never come back or that it just wasn’t there, to begin with.
Most of the reasons why you think this is a result of our manipulative behavior, which also confirms that it is not your fault. Even your desire to see the good in people is not your fault either. This is who you are. We know that and we take advantage of it. It’s our fault again, but of course, in the heat of the battle we’re in with you, we’ll never admit anything is our fault. This will never work.
Thus, your view of us is obscured, and because of this, you will always make excuses to explain our behavior, words and actions. You make these excuses over and over again to others and to yourself.
You believe these excuses because that is how you think and you have been drawn into this train of thought by the education you have received at our manipulative hands and mouths.
You also use these excuses to continue to convince yourself that unsavory elements in our behavior are just an aberration, in an occasional moment in connection with an otherwise wonderful character.
Your philanthropy is amazing and it is only natural to be most welcome that with such a minimalist approach you are stripping us of responsibility for the things we do, which is consistent with one of our many stated aims. You are holding yourself back from examining the reality of what got you into trouble now and the repeated application of these excuses keeps you where you are.
We want you to use these excuses. We want to hear them. We want them to tell us and others.
Your excuses frustrate and alienate those who are against us, your excuses support our manufactured facade, and most of all they ensure that you deny yourself what is right in front of you.
Here are twenty-five of these excuses created by emotional thinking
You will have said it probably more than once. Understand that every time you utter one, you sound another death knell for your odds of escaping from us.
- He’s just tired. makes him explode.
- He doesn’t mean it, not really.
- You don’t have to pretend with me, I just want you to be yourself.
- He has a lot on his mind at the moment.
- Work is particularly stressful for him.
- Sometimes he has a bit of a drink, but hey, who hasn’t been there?
- I think maybe I’m being harsh on him sometimes, it’s really my fault.
- He’s in a bad place but he’ll come through.
- He is a complex person. You don’t understand it as well as I do.
- It’s just what it is. I got used to that.
- I know it sounds bad but it does a lot of nice things; This is only a small part of what it is.
- Nobody knows him properly, which is why you think he’s bad.
- He’s a popular guy, so he’s always hitting on women.
- He has a temper, I know, but that’s part of who he is and it’s not up to us to change it.
- I need to be more supportive and then it will be better.
- He is not feeling well at the moment but I will help him get through it, as you can see.
- You have only heard one side of the story. It is not at all.
- Yeah, well, his family was saying that about him to cover up what they did to him.
- All he needs is to be loved and I am the one who will do that for him.
- You don’t know what to say anymore, it’s okay, I understand.
- It was a one-off, and it will never happen again.
- I know it was a mistake but this time he promised he wouldn’t do it anymore.
- You don’t understand the way I am together.
- You’re just jealous of what we have. Why don’t you make us happy for me?
- I’m sorry, it was my fault.
Related: 10 Unexpected Things To Expect After Leaving A Toxic Relationship
