In real life, is there an unfollow button for people, especially parents? If you’re going to cut off contact with your parents, here are 8 tips that might help you make your decision. The hardest thing you’ll ever do is close the door on your past. It will also be the most empowering.
You don’t just wake up and decide to cut off contact with your mom or dad—it’s a decision that comes after years of putting in every effort to maintain the relationship. But something inside you finally snaps—you see the cost of that connection is too high, and perhaps for the first time in your life, you choose yourself.
What Does “Cut Off Parents” Mean?
Before anything else, let me make this clear. “Cut off contact” isn’t just silence. Silence is abusive, and narcissists use it as punishment to control people. They use this tactic to hurt others and show that their feelings are untrue.
There are many reasons why someone might “cut off contact with their parents,” but it’s usually because their unhealthy behavior is demanding too much of you. Mentally, emotionally, and physically—you can’t bear that price anymore. Society judges harshly those who distance themselves from their family members. For example, if you’re on a first date and say you don’t talk to your family members, that’s a big red flag (and to some extent, it might be). But things need context, and there’s no room for such an explanation during a first date’s small talk. So,
8Tips for Cutting Off Contact with Your Abusive Parents
- Set Boundaries and Learn to Stick to Them
Identify triggers or signs of a problem, and respectfully ask them to be mindful when they come up in conversation with each other. If they refuse, or if the problem starts to escalate despite your request, immediately withdraw and end the conversation.
Related : 11 Hidden Signs Of A Jealous Mother In Law You Can’t Overlook
Be assertive—don’t allow any attempts to get drawn into arguments with them.
- Stop Trying to Please Them
You don’t need their approval or happiness; you need your own to move forward. Do what makes you happy, not what you think will make them happy.
- Don’t Get Involved in Arguments
Arguing or debating with a toxic parent is like beating a dead horse. It’s been done so often that it’s lost its momentum—it simply won’t get anywhere. They’re just who they are, and they’re stuck in their ways. No matter how good your points are, they won’t change much. This can be very stressful for most people—when you argue with a narcissist, you usually end up feeling worse than you were (and not just because you didn’t “win” the argument).
- Protect Yourself From Them
Your toxic parent won’t change overnight because of them, and they may even blame you for everything—but limit their interference in your life and feelings. If the abuse continues despite your best efforts to avoid arguments and maintain polite and respectful dialogue by setting boundaries, it may be time to end the relationship.
- Let Go of the Guilt
Cutting off contact with your parents is a life-or-death decision. Suspicion and guilt will always follow. But sometimes, that’s just how it is. You should prioritize your health and well-being above all else. It’s never your responsibility to fix or accept any negative impact. So, don’t feel guilty about taking this step toward healing yourself.
- Seek therapy if necessary – it will help
A good tip for cutting off contact with your parents is for a therapist to help you explore these thoughts and offer solutions to help you overcome them. This will allow you to go about your day without being constantly hindered by these thoughts. Therapy is essential to maintain or improve your relationship, but don’t expect too much from it either.
- You don’t need to change; they do.
Only they can make the change happen. You can suggest therapy, but accept that what you can do is limited.
Related : The Parentified Daughter: 10 Signs Your Childhood Was Burdened With Responsibilities
- Take charge and manage your emotions. You are in control of your emotions regarding your relationship with your parents, now and in the future.
You have the freedom to choose whether or not to be there for the holidays, and you can choose whether or not to be there for your parents when they need you. No matter who hurts you, just know that they don’t love you. You must stand up for yourself, because no one else will.
Share your thoughts on tips for avoiding contact with parents who are harmful to your health.
Disclaimer:
This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While we strive for accuracy, we do not guarantee the completeness or reliability of the information provided. Readers should always consult a qualified mental health professional for any concerns related to their mental health.
