Relationship after relationship ended in a bad breakup.
You seem to always be getting into arguments with your friends and family, even with new people you meet.
When you feel like no one is respected in this world anymore, the problem may not be with everyone. It might just be you.
It is not easy to accept.
But admitting there is a problem is the first step to solving it, they say.
So admitting your toxic behavior will help you grow as a person.
Once you do that, you are on your way to improving yourself.
Here are 12 things you can start doing to help you get started.
- Be more considerate of others
Most people who suffer from toxins do not realize that they are toxic.
They think that what is normal and normal for them, is also normal and normal for others as well – but this is not true.
What people find painful varies, which is why being considerate of others is so important to maintain good relationships and avoid toxicity.
Related : Why you attracted a narcissist and how to break the cycle
Maybe someone has pulled you aside before and told you that they didn’t appreciate what you said before.
Now, before you say something that might be hurtful to others, try to put yourself in your friends’ shoes.
Ask yourself: How would they feel if you said this?
- Stop passing the blame
It’s normal to feel uncomfortable when you make a mistake and there are angry people, looking for who did it.
No one wants to be in the hot seat. But you also have to understand that we are all human.
One of the hallmarks of being human is imperfection.
Maybe before you take the blame for something because you don’t want to look bad.
You justified it to yourself by saying that you only acted that way because someone else was anxious and that you were affected by their anxiety.
However, not taking responsibility for your actions will only spread the toxicity further.
- Learn how to apologize properly
One of the most important things one should learn is how to apologize properly.
Sometimes just saying “sorry” isn’t enough.
Sure, you might say you mean it with every bone in your body when you say “sorry,” but if you continue in your old ways, “sorry” may be as valuable as using a water gun to put out a fire.
A real apology should be genuine and should also come with an acknowledgment of your actions.
Admit your mistakes and try to avoid making them again. The best apology is behavior change.
- Don’t be quick to judge others
People are not “weird”; You just judge them too quickly.
Being overly judgmental is one of the most common traits of toxic people.
If someone behaves in a way they are not used to, it may not be because they are “weird,” but because of the way they were raised.
Judging them quickly and telling your friends about it will only spread negativity and hatred.
Instead of calling them names, try getting to know them first.
They may surprise you with how “normal” they are.
- Follow through on what you say you’ll do
Not following through on what they say they will do is a common toxic trait.
The more you say and the less you do, the less meaning your words carry.
You keep telling people you’re going to start a business, volunteer somewhere, or travel the world—but you never change your ways.
Your words ring hollow and you end up lying to others and only yourself.
Instead, you can ask yourself, what do you want to do?
What prevents you from doing it?
This might help you finally start following through.
- Stop trying to outdo others
When someone shares a traumatic story from their life, this is not an invitation to interrupt and share your own more traumatic story.
Sure, you may have good intentions for doing this – you want to let them know you understand them – interrupting them may make them feel invalidated.
Toxic people often do this to use self-pity to put themselves in the spotlight.
Instead of saying, “You should consider yourself lucky. When you had to go through something, it was much worse,” you can try not saying anything at all.
Don’t just wait for a response, try to listen.
You may also realize that they just need to express their feelings more than just have a conversation.
- Realize that it is not your job to fix others
It’s true that when some people go through hard times, they need help.
Just because someone shows they need help doesn’t mean they need help from you.
Don’t take it personally.
But forcing a helping hand on someone may not make them feel comfortable, no matter how well-intentioned you are.
Try to stop advising people who don’t even ask for it.
Related : The ultimate guide to breaking up with a narcissist
They don’t ask why: because they don’t need to hear it now.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is be with them, even in silence.
Maybe they just needed space to be heard.
Forcing your help on them may make them feel even worse.
- Stop imposing your beliefs on others
When you’re passionate about your ideas, it’s easy to slip into the mindset that your ideas are the best and that your ideas are the “correct” way to see things.
But people will not blindly accept what others say. People have their own beliefs.
When you impose on them what you believe, you may be subtly telling them that what they believe is wrong—and that’s not always true.
Instead of telling people that your idea is the best, try thinking of it as just a suggestion.
There is also a high probability that you will be wrong about your idea as well.
- listen to people
It’s so easy these days to pull out our phones and start scrolling social media, even when you’re sitting across from another human being.
Having your phone in your hand or on the table while talking to someone may indicate that they are not important to you; The phone is more important than them.
It can easily be read as disrespectful and toxic.
When they talk, put your phone down, or better yet, put it in your pocket.
Give your full attention to the other person and allow a natural connection to emerge.
- Don’t wait for others to do something for you
You may be whiny and angry about none of your friends reaching out to check up on you.
It is as if you feel that you deserve personal care from others.
But the truth is that no one spends as much time thinking about you as you think about yourself.
You may call your friends fake and question your friendship, but in reality, they may be busy trying to manage their own lives.
There’s nothing but your ego stopping you from reaching out to them first.
- Accept your fears
One of the reasons people exhibit toxic behavior is because they want to hide their fears.
They blame someone else because they don’t want people to notice how clumsy or reckless they are.
Instead, they may draw attention to themselves only to find validation that they cannot find within themselves.
Accepting your insecurities is much easier said than done.
But it’s an important step to take if you want to become less toxic as a person.
Learn to forgive yourself and accept your past as it was: the past.
You have the opportunity now to be a better version of yourself.
- Reduce your pride and arrogance
Another reason why people are so toxic is because they think they deserve it.
Maybe they grew up in a wealthy family, so they think they should be given everything if they want it enough.
Or since they know someone famous, they are entitled to the same level of treatment.
Their head expands and they become more detached from reality.
It will take time to lower your pride and ego.
It may mean having to stay calm in a meeting so others can shine. I
This may mean admitting your mistakes, no matter how small.
But showing humility will help you grow much more in the long run.
- Become less toxic
Being toxic is not permanent. You can change.
Admitting that you are is already a brave step forward in improving your life.
But this doesn’t happen overnight.
Having a close friend by your side can help you on this journey.
You can ask them to call you when your toxic side starts to show itself.
You can also talk to a specialist if you need to.
Although the results may not always be obvious, one day you will be able to look back and express how much you have improved.
