Wondering how to part with a married man? Well, dating someone who is committed to someone else is not healthy for you, so to leave your married man, here are 5 steps on how to stop dating him!
Have you set a New Year’s resolution to leave your married man? Have you just had enough and do you know you need to move on?
good for you!
You know, since you’ve probably tried to do it 1,000 times, breaking up and staying apart, it can seem impossible.
But, if you’re reading this, I believe that now that you’ve set a New Year’s resolution to leave your married man, you really want to follow through because you want 2023 to be better than 2022.
To that end, here are 5 things you can do to stick to your New Year’s resolution to leave the married man so you can move on and find the love you want.
Related: The Eight Kinds Of Love According To Ancient Greeks
How to stop dating a married man? 5 things to do to leave your married man this new year
- Be firm in your decision.
First and foremost, as with any decision, it is important that you are determined to make it. That you know it’s time to break up with him and that you’re pretty sure you’re ready to do it.
I know that when I was in a relationship with a married man, I tried to break up with him several times.
I wanted to break up with him because he wouldn’t leave his wife. I wanted to break up with him because I wasn’t a priority. I wanted to break up with him because I was alone on the holidays. I wanted to break up with him because our relationship was distracting me from my life and isolating me from my friends.
So, I told myself that I was going to break up with him and that I was going to be done with him.
But if I’m being honest with myself, I broke up with him for one reason. I thought if I broke up with him, he would miss me and leave his wife and we would live happily ever after.
With an attitude like that, I really wasn’t going to let go. I was hoping to urge him to break away from work. By breaking up with him, I actually hoped to strengthen our relationship, not leave it.
So, this time around, if you are going to keep your New Year’s resolution to leave your married spouse, you must decide that you are really ready to do so. You do it so you can have the life you want, be happy and find love, not because you hope he gets lonely and jealous and comes back to you, promising you a happily ever after!
- Do things differently this time.
Therefore, I am sure that you have tried to separate from your married husband before.
And it failed to do so. He may fail to do so over and over again.
It is imperative, if you want to keep your New Year’s resolution to leave the married man, that you do things differently this time around.
Evaluate what you have done before. Did you invite him over to your house for the one-on-one conversation? Did you reach out to him a few days later for a “closure”?
Did you do something that would make him want to break up with you? Did you break up with him just to reach out to him on his birthday or your wedding anniversary, thinking you could do so as a “friend”?
Have you begged him not to let you go and then broken up with him when he wouldn’t fight for you?
Haven’t any of these things worked in the past? I bet they didn’t.
It is essential, if you want to succeed in breaking up with him this time, that you do things differently. Something that would make the breakup stick this time around.
If talking to him in person before didn’t work, because you see him and you’re losing your mind about breaking up, talk to him over the phone instead.
If you’re talking to him on the phone, and hearing his voice begging you not to break up with him makes you feel bad and holding you back from breaking up with him, send him a text that you need to end this. You can even ghost him.
If you know he’ll reach out to you on holidays, block him everywhere.
If you’ve previously begged him not to let you go, don’t show any feelings during this breakup. Be clear, brief, and practical – don’t give him a chance to capture your feelings.
What I always recommend to my clients is that they text their married man to tell them they’re over, for good this time, and then, before they respond, block them all over.
This seems to make it easier for the women as they do not feel that they are being insolent by the ghost of their married man but are made visible by their inhibition.
If that doesn’t work, then you have permission to hide them.
Whatever it takes to never make the same mistakes again and get over the breakup!
Related: We Can All Fall In Love, But It’s Staying In Love That’s The Hard Part
- Find out why they won’t let you go.
Another thing you can do to stick to your New Year’s resolution to ditch your married spouse is to evaluate why he doesn’t want to leave you.
Most likely, if you are trying to break up with him, the reason is that he is not going to leave his wife. And you are right to do so. You have to take care of yourself and your happiness.
Unfortunately, while your married man says he loves you, his reasons for not wanting to separate from him have nothing to do with that love. They have to do what he wants.
If your married man truly puts you and your happiness first, he will know that breaking up with him will be the best thing he could do for you.
He knows that you’re miserable, that he can’t keep his promises to you, and that he most likely never will. It would be a gift to you that he let you go so you could get on with your life.
But, a married man is likely not putting your needs first. Your married man wants you around for his own selfish reasons. He wants you around because you make him feel loved and cared for.
He gets regular, possibly sexy, sex from you. When he’s with you, he’s stepping out of his mundane life and feeling more alive. And he can have all of that and stay with his family, too.
I encourage you to evaluate the reasons why your married man would want to keep you. Maybe if you see that they have nothing to do with you, it might make it easier for you to keep your decision this time!
Related: And If You Ask Me Why I Love You, This Is What I’d Say…
- Fill your life with other things.
I suspect that your married spouse is taking up a significant amount of your time.
Even if you’re not actually with him, you probably make sure to be there for him whenever he wants you.
That you keep your phone close by, which distracts you from being with your friends. You don’t do things with your friends because you want to keep time open when it’s free.
I suspect that over the course of this relationship, the more you isolated yourself from those you care about and neglected the things you loved to do.
If you want to stick to your New Year’s resolution to leave your married spouse, I would encourage you to go back to the life you had before you met him, the person you were before he came along.
How does that sound? Maybe take a run again. Have Sunday brunch with your friends. Planning a hiking trip with your sister. Volunteering for that time consuming project that you know will bring you tons of accolades if you make it through.
Whatever you can do to fill or wait for the time you were going to spend with him. And not just to fill the time but to do it with things that make you feel good about yourself.
The things that make you feel accomplished, that make you feel loved, that make you feel worthy of happiness and true love.
Breaking up with your married man and sitting around like you did for months, leaving an open space for him, will only prevent you from going through the breakup the way you want.
Related: Even Your Soulmate Will Cause Relationship Problems
- Don’t reinvent history.
Whenever I broke up with my married man, I found I was reinventing who he was and what our relationship was like.
I remember missing all the love and support he gave me, and how he used to listen to me when I needed him and guide me when I was feeling lost. This made me miss him and seek to get back with him. Repeatedly.
And then, during another breakup, I stumbled upon a diary I had kept a few months earlier. There were some things in it that really surprised me.
I wrote about how he never listened to me – that whenever I spoke I felt like he was always waiting for me to finish so he could say something. I read about all the times he wasn’t there for me when I needed him. I read about the loneliness I would feel when I got off the phone with him on his way home to his family.
Reading these things changed things for me. Instead of losing the things I had created in my head, I was able to clearly see the reality of how he treated me. I was able to remember the things he did that made me feel bad and that was probably a huge reason why I broke up with him.
Remembering these things made me not want to reach out to him to make up. They strengthened my resolve to remain steadfast in my desire to break up and I walked away from him.
I know that without a doubt, you can stick to your New Year’s resolution to leave the married man.
Even if you have failed to do this since New Year’s Day, you can still do it now and keep moving forward.
When I finally broke up with my married man, I did so shadyly. He hurt me once too much. I felt so bad for him but I remembered the hurt he had done me and I knew it was okay for me to hurt him again.
I blocked him but he still managed to reach me via email. I did not answer.
About 8 weeks later, he called. This was always our routine – 8 weeks later he would call and I’d take him back. This time, I didn’t answer the phone. I texted him and told him I wasn’t ready to talk yet. This “so far” seemed to satisfy him and he left me alone, likely because he thought I would lend a hand on the way. I did not do.
Giving up on my married man was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do but I did it. And what happened when I did? I met the person I will marry in July.
I would never have met him if I had not ended, once and for all, a relationship that was draining me.
I know you can stick to your New Year’s resolution to leave the married man. Even if you haven’t done it before, I know you can do it now!
Be determined, do things differently, evaluate his motives and the truth behind your relationship, and keep yourself busy.
You can do that! I promise you!
Related : Why You Should Never Give Up On Someone You Love, Even When It’s Hard
Parting with a married man is a difficult but necessary process. By accepting reality, disconnecting, surrounding yourself with support, and focusing on self-care, finding closure, and moving forward, you can begin to heal and move forward from this experience.
