Narcissistic behaviors in relationships manifest in the form of self-centered attitudes and actions that can cause significant tension in relationships. They create an imbalance, skewing the relationship too heavily toward one person’s needs and desires, leaving their partner feeling shadowed and undervalued.

This is why narcissistic behaviors lead to significant emotional turmoil and fundamentally disrupt the balance required for a healthy relationship.

What are narcissistic behaviors?

Narcissistic behaviors include a range of self-centered attitudes and actions that can dramatically alter the dynamics of a relationship. These behaviors stem from a personality style characterized by an inflated sense of self-worth, a constant desire for admiration, and a marked lack of empathy.

When these behaviors appear in a relationship, they inevitably create an unhealthy imbalance. The narcissist ensures that his or her own needs and desires take center stage, marginalizing their partner’s feelings and needs.

Furthermore, narcissists are very entitled, expecting others to meet their needs without reciprocating. This can lead to a cycle of emotional exploitation and neglect, causing significant distress to their partners.

If taken to extremes, these narcissistic behaviors can cross over into the realm of abuse, where the narcissist uses tactics such as gaslighting, projection, stonewalling, and the silent treatment to maintain control and dominance in the relationship.

At the heart of these behaviors lies the narcissist’s inherent inability to truly empathize with others. They are unable to provide the emotional support, understanding and true love that form the cornerstone of a healthy and balanced relationship.

Recognizing the signs of narcissistic behaviors is the first step toward seeking help, setting boundaries, and perhaps extricating oneself from a harmful relationship dynamic.

Typical Narcissistic Behaviors – Grandiosity

Grandiosity is one of the most telling signs of narcissistic behavior. Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and see themselves as superior to those around them.

As a result, they believe they deserve special privileges that others are not entitled to, which reinforces their superiority and entitlement.

In addition, most narcissists believe that they are unique, special, or destined for extraordinary success. They will constantly brag about their achievements, whether they are real or just a figment of their imagination.

This constant self-aggrandizement serves a dual purpose – it reinforces their inflated self-image and helps them gain the admiration and validation they crave.

The successes of others, including their partner, are often seen as a challenge to their grandiose self-image, so they will downplay or ignore the achievements of people around them, invalidating them in the process.

Typical narcissistic behaviors – constant need for admiration
Narcissists have an insatiable desire to be constantly praised, noticed, and admired. They thrive on compliments and flattery, using them as fuel to bolster their inflated self-image.

They often go to great lengths to get this validation, engaging in showy behavior, constantly talking about their accomplishments, or manipulating conversations to direct the focus back to themselves.

However, in reality, this constant need for admiration reveals their deep insecurity and dependence on external validation to maintain their grandiose self-perception.

In fact, their ego is so fragile that they respond negatively when they do not receive the constant praise and appreciation they need to maintain their self-worth. They can become irritable, dismissive, or even aggressive when others do not believe in their superiority or fail to acknowledge their accomplishments.

Typical narcissistic behaviors – lack of empathy

Narcissists are often preoccupied with their own experiences and viewpoints, leaving little room to consider the viewpoints or emotions of others.

However, the relationship between narcissism and empathy is complex and nuanced. Some research suggests that while narcissists may struggle with empathic responding, they may not completely lack the ability to empathize.

Instead, their empathy may be conditional on specific circumstances or relationships, meaning that the link between narcissism and empathy is not “all or nothing.”

Despite this complexity, the general lack of empathy in narcissistic behaviors contributes significantly to interpersonal dysfunction.

It creates an emotionally unbalanced dynamic in relationships, leading to feelings of invalidation and emotional neglect in those who interact closely with narcissists.

Typical narcissistic behaviors – exploitative behavior

Narcissists are often strategic and manipulative in their interactions. They view relationships primarily as platforms to serve their own interests, rather than as exchanges of mutual support and affection.

This can lead to a pattern of exploitation where they take advantage of others’ kindness, generosity or vulnerabilities in order to advance their own agenda.

This exploitative behavior can manifest in different ways. Narcissists will manipulate others into doing tasks for them, take advantage of someone’s skills or resources without reciprocating, or use emotional manipulation to control and influence people.

They may also take advantage of others’ sympathy and sympathy, feigning helplessness or distress to get attention and help.

Furthermore, narcissists will not hesitate to use deceptive, corrupt, or even harmful behaviors to get what they want, showing little remorse or accountability for the impact of their actions on others.

Typical narcissistic behaviors – envy and arrogance

Narcissists tend to view life as a competition in which they must always come out on top. They often compare themselves to others, not for self-improvement or learning but to prove their dominance and superiority.

When they view someone else as more successful or having something they desire, they feel intense envy.

However, their envy is often disguised as arrogance and arrogance. They will belittle the accomplishments of others or attribute their successes to luck or unfair advantages. This serves as a defense mechanism to protect their fragile ego and maintain their grandiose self-perception.

In addition, narcissists are often convinced that others envy them. They believe that their success, attractiveness, or talent arouses jealousy in those around them. This assumption allows them to maintain their self-image and dismiss any criticism or negative comments as mere envy.

Arrogance is another common trait among narcissists. They tend to have a superiority complex, and often come across as condescending or dismissive toward others. This arrogance is not only a manifestation of their inflated self-view, but also a tool for establishing dominance and control in their interactions.

Typical narcissistic behaviors – inability to handle criticism

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration and validation. Criticism thus threatens their self-perception and sense of self-worth.

As a result, they react with anger, defensiveness, or even aggression when faced with negative feedback.

The inability to handle criticism often manifests itself in different ways.

Narcissists may deny the validity of criticism, shifting blame to others rather than accepting responsibility. They may also resort to gaslighting, a manipulative tactic that makes the critic question their perceptions and reason.

In some cases, narcissists respond to criticism with what is known as “narcissistic rage.” This involves intense anger, hostility, or even violent behavior resulting from perceived threats to their self-esteem or self-worth.

This often creates an environment where open communication and constructive feedback becomes very difficult.

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

As mentioned above, when extreme narcissistic behaviors are resorted to, they become emotional and psychological abuse. Narcissistic abuse can manifest in different ways, all of which involve manipulative tactics and power dynamics that harm the victim’s mental and emotional health.

Mind manipulation

Gaslighting is a powerful and destructive form of psychological manipulation that is often used in narcissistic abuse. This tactic involves the narcissist systematically undermining the victim’s reality by denying their experiences, contradicting their memories, or ignoring their feelings.

The goal is to make the victim doubt his or her perceptions, memory, or sanity, which can lead to a deep feeling of confusion and disorientation.

The effects of gaslighting are insidious and far-reaching. By manipulating the victim’s beliefs in his or her judgment, the narcissist can control his or her thoughts and behaviors, leading to feelings of anxiety, helplessness, and low self-esteem.

Over time, the victim may become so unsure of their reality that they become completely dependent on the narcissist for validation, further strengthening the abuser’s grip.

Love bombing

Love bombing is a classic narcissistic tactic characterized by intense and sudden outpourings of affection, compliments, gifts, and promises of eternal love and commitment.

It’s a crushing romance designed to sweep the victim off their feet and secure their emotional investment in the relationship.

However, excessive adoration and attention are often short-lived. Once the narcissist feels he has successfully secured the victim’s attachment, behavior often changes suddenly.

The previously constant flow of love and affection turns into a cycle of devaluation and neglect, leaving the victim feeling confused, hurt, and longing for the love that was initially shown.

This radical shift from idealization to devaluation is designed to keep the victim off balance and constantly seeking the narcissist’s approval and affection, thus ensuring their continued control and influence over the victim.

Devaluation of the currency

After the initial love bombing phase, narcissists often move into the devaluation phase.

At this stage, the previous behavior of affection and adoration is replaced by constant criticism, belittling comments and demeaning actions.

The narcissist may begin to find fault with the victim’s actions or personality traits, often highlighting his or her flaws while downplaying his or her strengths.

This constant devaluation can erode the victim’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth, leaving them feeling unloved, inadequate, and even worthless.

Over time, the victim may begin to internalize these negative messages and become increasingly dependent on the narcissist for validation and approval. This further empowers the narcissist, allowing them to maintain control over the victim and the relationship.

Ostracizes

The neglect phase is a particularly painful phase of narcissistic abuse, and often follows the devaluation phase.

This stage involves the narcissist abruptly ending the relationship or withdrawing his or her affection without any clear explanation or reason. Ignoring can be temporary, as part of the cycle of abuse, or it can be permanent.

Regardless, the sudden and unprovoked nature of the shooting is intended to inflict maximum emotional pain and confusion on the victim.

They are left feeling rejected, abandoned and emotionally devastated, often wondering what they did wrong and how they could have prevented their elimination.

This turmoil and self-doubt reinforces the power dynamic in favor of the narcissist, who may use the victim’s emotional distress to further manipulate them, either by coming back with promises of change (aka hoovering) or by ultimately blaming the victim. Relationship.

Hoover

Hoovering is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to suck their victims back into the cycle of abuse after a period of separation or abandonment.

Named after Hoover’s vacuum cleaner, it involves an abuser attempting to “suck” their victims back into the relationship through promises of change, expressions of love, guilt trips, or even threats.

Narcissists use evasive tactics when they feel their control over the victim is slipping, such as when the victim is trying to set boundaries, end the relationship, or move on from the abuse.

It is important to recognize these tactics for what they are: attempts to regain control rather than genuine remorse or a desire for reconciliation.

Bullying can take different forms, including excessive apologies, grand gestures, or playing the victim.

Narcissists may also use third parties (known as flying monkeys) to deliver their messages. Despite the apparent honesty, the goal is not compensation, but rather to return the victim to the cycle of abuse.