How do you discover the presence of a sociopath in your life? You might be surprised, but anyone can be. It’s more common than you think.
Have you ever run into someone who blows you away because they are so intense, spontaneous, and seems to have the most amazing life? Only to find after a few months that something is not quite right about them? You probably just met your first sociopath.
Sociopathy is an antisocial disorder characterized by the absolute absence of moral respect for the rules and boundaries of society.
The Mayo Clinic defines sociopathy as “a mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and disregards the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize others, manipulate them, or treat them with cruelty or callous indifference. They show no emotion guilt or remorse for their behavior.
According to Harvard University psychologist Dr. Martha Stout, one in 25 Americans is a sociopath, so they’re more common than you might imagine. But how do you spot a sociopath? As with any mental disorder, certain signs reveal a tendency for sociopathy.
Here’s how to spot a sociopath, based on the 10 most common traits of individuals with the disorder:
- Very charming
The first time you meet a sociopath, if they think you could be useful to them, they’ll be charmed. Sociopaths seem to have a kind of aura around them that people are naturally drawn to. They are the soul of the party, full of charisma and commanding your attention. Their charming nature is probably why they are noticed in the first place. - Highly intelligent
Sociopaths usually score very high on intelligence tests and appear to be knowledgeable about many subjects. It is rare to find a sociopath who is not intelligent, as he has to be very intelligent to manipulate people. They use their high IQ to deceive others and maintain their power over them. - Intense and spontaneous
One of the things that attracts people to sociopaths is their seemingly amazing lives. They are always trying new and exciting things and don’t care about the rules and limits of society. Many of their exploits are risky and they seem fearless to others. - Compulsive liars
How do you spot a sociopath? I’m looking for a liar. A sociopath will tell you the most terrible stories about himself and his life, and at first, thanks to his charming nature, you will most likely believe them. They will exaggerate their accomplishments and lie for the sake of lying.
They become delusional if the truth is presented to them and can begin to believe their lies. One famous example is Charles Manson, the sociopathic killer, who, when asked about his murders, said: “I’ve never killed anyone! I don’t need to kill anyone!”
- Manipulation
Why do sociopaths lie? So they can manipulate you. For sociopaths, the only reason you are in their lives is because they want something from you. They manipulate to control you. It could be that you entertain them and they find it interesting to mess with your head, or they may take something valuable from you.
- Lack of remorse or sympathy
Remember that famous line in The Terminator where Reese explains to Sarah Connor that the Terminator “simply has no pity or remorse”? You can say the same about sociopaths. They simply do not understand how their actions affect those around them. They see the consequences, but they just don’t care. Since they are unable to have these feelings, it allows them to pursue any goal, in any way, without giving a second thought to others. - Unable to love
Sociopaths cannot fall in love, they do not know how to do it, and besides, what can it bring them? They are unable to give themselves to another person, although they are good at faking feelings of love to get what they want. - Narcissistic behavior
Sociopaths cannot love others, but they certainly love themselves. Everything they do is self-serving and for their good. They have an inflated ego and a tendency to talk about themselves and their accomplishments in an arrogant manner. - The desperate need to win
Another trait that can help you spot a sociopath is that individuals with this disorder need to win at all costs, and this is perhaps the single factor that dominates their lives.
If they don’t, that’s when you’ll see their true identity exposed, as they won’t be able to control their anger trying to win back the victory. Oh, and don’t expect a sociopath to apologize if it looks like they’ve lost the argument.
- There are no long-term friends
Finally, have you ever noticed that your new charming friend has no long-term friends? Balanced people tend to have a group of friends, from school, work, and their social lives. Sociopaths have a “revolving door” of friends, pushing people away with all of the above behaviors.
