Meeting someone new can be exciting, but if you’re dealing with a narcissist, those first few dates can quickly go from charming to unsettling. Narcissists are skilled at creating a favorable first impression, often making it difficult to identify their true nature early on. However, there are subtle signs that can help you spot a narcissist before becoming too emotionally involved. Here are 10 tips to identify a narcissist on the first date.
1. They Talk Excessively About Themselves
One of the clearest signs of narcissism is their tendency to dominate the conversation with stories about themselves. A narcissist will focus almost entirely on their accomplishments, experiences, and opinions. They rarely show genuine interest in your thoughts or experiences, and when they do ask you questions, they quickly steer the conversation back to themselves.
2. They Are Overly Charming
Narcissists are known for their charm, especially in the early stages of a relationship. On the first date, they might shower you with compliments, act extremely attentive, and go out of their way to impress you. While it may feel flattering at first, this behavior is often a manipulation tactic used to lure you in. Pay attention to whether the charm feels sincere or overly rehearsed.
3. They Brag About Their Achievements
Narcissists crave admiration and validation from others. On a first date, they may brag about their job, wealth, physical appearance, or connections. They often exaggerate their accomplishments or embellish stories to make themselves appear more successful than they are. This need for constant praise is a hallmark of narcissism.
4. They Exhibit Entitled Behavior
A narcissist often believes they deserve special treatment. On a first date, you might notice them acting entitled—whether it’s treating the waitstaff rudely, complaining about trivial inconveniences, or expecting preferential treatment in any setting. This entitlement can extend into their expectations of you, too, as they might assume you’ll cater to their needs or desires without hesitation.
5. They Avoid Genuine Emotional Conversation
Narcissists tend to avoid deep, emotional conversations because they struggle with empathy and vulnerability. If your date seems uninterested in discussing anything meaningful or personal about themselves or others, and prefers to keep the conversation superficial, it could be a sign of narcissism. Narcissists typically lack emotional depth and are uncomfortable with emotions they can’t control.
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6. They Speak Negatively About Their Exes
If your date spends a significant amount of time speaking negatively about their past relationships, blaming their exes for everything that went wrong, this can be a red flag. Narcissists often refuse to take responsibility for their actions and instead project blame onto others. Be wary if they portray themselves as a constant victim of their past partners.
7. They Are Easily Offended
Narcissists have very fragile egos and are easily offended by even the mildest forms of criticism. If your date reacts poorly to a harmless joke or takes offense to a casual comment, it could be a sign of their inflated sense of self-importance. They often view criticism as a personal attack and will react defensively or even aggressively.
8. They Move Too Fast
One of the most common tactics narcissists use in relationships is love bombing—overwhelming someone with affection, attention, and promises of a future together very early on. If your date is pushing for a serious relationship right away, making grand declarations of love, or talking about a future together after just one date, this is a red flag. Narcissists tend to rush relationships to gain control over their partner quickly.
9. They Lack Empathy
A major hallmark of narcissism is the inability to empathize with others. On your first date, notice how they respond to stories about people’s struggles or misfortunes. A narcissist will often show little to no empathy or concern. Instead, they may make dismissive or self-centered comments, demonstrating that they lack genuine interest in the well-being of others.
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10. They Have a Need for Constant Attention
Narcissists thrive on attention and often crave it from multiple sources. If your date is constantly checking their phone, making a big deal about who is texting them, or trying to get attention from others around you, this could be a sign. They will likely want to be the center of attention, both on the date and in general, and will get frustrated if they’re not.
Spotting a narcissist on the first date can be challenging, but being aware of these signs can help you protect yourself from entering into a toxic relationship. If you notice a combination of these red flags, trust your instincts. Narcissists can be highly manipulative, so the sooner you recognize their behavior, the better you can safeguard your emotional well-being.
By paying attention to how someone talks about themselves, their relationships, and how they treat others, you can spot a narcissist before things escalate. While it’s normal for everyone to want to make a good impression on a first date, these extreme behaviors often point to deeper narcissistic tendencies.
