Would you like to know how to shut down a narcissist during the silent treatment?
You may have gone through multiple bouts of this crippling form of the cold shoulder, but no matter how many times it has happened to you, you are left feeling traumatized, defeated, and feeling like there is no way out of the pain.
Well, today, you’ll learn how to shut down a narcissist during their next silent treatment so you can finally become the victor in this game of cat and mouse and emerge with your dignity intact and feeling stronger than ever.
How to disarm a narcissist during the silent treatment
1 – Don’t believe it’s your fault
That’s huge.
When we get the silent treatment from the narcissist in our lives, it feels completely devastated. Even if we know, beyond any doubt, that the narcissist was wrong, we take responsibility for their silence on us.
This is exactly what a narcissist wants.
Here’s the deal. Normal people may need some time alone to reflect and reset, but they will never use the silent treatment as a form of punishment against you.
Someone who cares about you will come back and want to have a two-way conversation about how to make things work between you two. Someone who cares won’t try to make you feel wrong because they cheated or lied.
If you are dealing with someone with narcissistic personality disorder, their goal is not to work things out, but to figure out how they can maintain power and control over you and the relationship. So, when you go days without getting a phone call from them, you can bet it’s because you tried to rectify a situation that they simply wanted you to shut up about.
2 – disengage
The last thing you want to do during the silent treatment is reward the narcissist by engaging with them when they hover after they have engaged in bad behavior.
In case you are just learning what a hoover is: hoovering is a technique used by people with narcissistic tendencies to suck their victims back into a relationship with them by displaying enhanced or desirable behavior. It is named after the Hoover vacuum cleaner because not only does the jaded narcissist want to win you back into the relationship again, but he will eventually treat you like dirt and put your mental health at risk.
Hoovers only occur after they are disposed of. In fact, most of the returns are not genuine. When a narcissist seemingly ignores you, it’s usually all smoke and mirrors to cause your abandonment wounds until you accept their outrageous behaviors and finally give them their way just to keep them in your life.
So, when the narcissist finally reaches out to you during the silent treatment, you don’t want to reinforce his sense of entitlement by hitting back at him or even trying to understand why he wronged you.
No, with people who have npd, you want to make it clear to them that they are not right in any way, shape, or form. When they finally connect after giving you the silent treatment, be sure they are met with complete indifference and silence as they begin to realize that their game didn’t work this time.
3 – Turn the silent narcissist’s therapy into a cry of victory.
The third way to shut down a narcissist who is giving you the silent treatment is to use the opportunity to end the relationship and no contact.
This is what I personally did after receiving the silent treatment for the hundredth time. At the time, I was in a toxic marriage and being subjected to the silent treatment. It has become a regular and normal part of the relationship.
Only, he didn’t know that during one of his earlier silent treatments, I had walked out and put a deposit on an apartment. Then, the next time he gave me the silent treatment, I left. When he returned, sure enough to try to pretend everything was normal, he was met with an empty apartment and the sounds of crickets.
That was my victory cry, and it can be my victory cry for you, too.
Of course, this will require a little more discipline, and there is a certain mindset you will need to follow to make it work.
and that is …
In your own mind, you let go of the deeply held belief that you need the narcissist in order to feel good about yourself.
In your mind, you accept that there will be a difficult road ahead, but it is one you are willing to travel to get to a place of true healing (and to make room for a mutual loving relationship later).
In your mind, you give up waiting for apologies and closure from the narcissist.
In your mind, let them go and let them go.
In your mind, let go of the microphone and walk away.
If you want to know how to shut down a narcissist during their next silent treatment, you will need some support and something or someone to keep you on the right track.
What do you do to turn the tables on the narcissist
If you’ve already downloaded the Free Beginner Healing Toolkit, your next step would be to consider joining me and the Inner Warrior circle inside The Essential Break Free Bootcamp, where you’ll learn everything you need during the first weeks of liberation. And receive support and encouragement from us every step of the way.
Support groups can be very helpful in dealing with emotional pain. Our Inner Warrior Circle includes a private Facebook group specifically for individuals who are on their own healing journeys.
You can overcome the silent narcissist therapy
The bad side of staying in a relationship with a narcissist is that it keeps you stuck in a hopeless situation. Holding on to hope that the narcissist in your life will change is a pipe dream that leads to a wasted life.
The idea can be likened to the Big Foot and Loch Ness Monster legends. There are people who strongly insist that these creatures exist, but no one has ever seen them.
Same goes for the narcissist who makes permanent change.
As painful as the silent treatment can be, you can learn to deal with a narcissist in powerful ways. By developing your self-esteem and feeling connected to others outside of your abusive relationship, you will be able to weather the storm, restore your dignity, and take back your life.
How to start the recovery stages after the silent narcissist treatment
It’s hard to recover from narcissistic abuse, and it’s okay to admit that you need help. If you’re ready to dig deeper, check out the #1 online therapist-approved program for recovery from narcissistic abuse. Thousands of people around the world have benefited from this practical, proven and reliable program. It is the best place to start a journey towards renewed self-esteem and an end to feelings of worthlessness.
