Narcissistic relationships are known to cause anxiety. We may remain depressed long after the relationship ends.

Anxiety is a natural response to danger. Narcissists trigger our fight-or-flight instincts for various reasons.

Narcissists often want their partners to feel anxious, as anxious people are easier to control. Therefore, they may deliberately cause conflict and exhibit unpredictable behaviors, just to force you to back down.

The actions and words of narcissists are also inconsistent, causing even more anxiety.

For example, they may tell you that you value everything about them, yet surprise you when a friend calls. Or they may talk about the importance of their religion, but you don’t act on it.

Related : How To Boost Your Confidence After A Narcissist Relationship

This disconnect between their words and actions causes confusion. Even if you don’t consciously notice all of their inconsistencies, your subconscious mind does. Because things don’t connect, it becomes confused and anxious. This triggers alarm bells, in the form of feelings of anxiety.

Years of narcissistic relationships condition us to feel anxious, until it eventually becomes normal.

Even after the relationship ends, we may feel anxious. One reason is that narcissists’ ex-partners subconsciously create situations that cause them anxiety, just to feel “normal.” Even if they don’t, the narcissist’s negative words and actions hang over them like a dark cloud, sowing seeds of doubt for years to come.

However, you can break out of this cycle and confront it. Here are some tips to help you reduce anxiety…

Deep_and_Slow_Breathing

When we feel anxious, we naturally breathe shallowly and irregularly. This perpetuates our anxiety.

To combat this, consciously reverse this anxious breathing. Take a few deep, slow breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Calmly, smoothly, deeply, and in a controlled manner.

This quickly calms your body, and your mind will quickly follow suit.

It may sound simple, but it’s incredibly effective at reducing anxiety. Try it the next time you feel anxious. You’ll feel the benefits immediately.

Stay In The Moment

When our mind wanders through time and space, we feel more anxious, especially when we imagine the future. It’s rare for the present to cause much anxiety.

When you find your mind drifting between time and space, try this grounding technique to bring you back to the present moment…

Look around you and notice three things you see.

Close your eyes and listen to three sounds you hear.

Are there any smells in the air you can distinguish?

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Any taste in your mouth? Maybe toothpaste, or the last thing you ate.

Is there anything nearby that you can touch? How does it feel? Is there a wind on your skin? Is the air warm or cold?

By engaging your senses in what’s happening right now, you ground yourself in the present. This reduces the anxiety caused by your mind wandering through time and space.

Meditation

Meditation is a wonderful tool for calming your mind and body. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

Simply lie down, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Some people prefer to count their breaths or chant a mantra, as this gives them something to focus on.

Meditation is ultimately about doing nothing, allowing your mind and body to rest. If thoughts pop into your mind, that’s okay. Just let them go in their own time.

Exercise

Our bodies are designed for work and movement, but modern life doesn’t require that much.

We get anxious and stressed easily if we don’t use our bodies. So, unless you have a physically demanding job, it’s important to incorporate exercise into your life.

Find something you enjoy. If you like walking in nature, do it. If you prefer running, dancing, or playing sports, etc., do it. The more you enjoy it, the more likely you are to stick with it.

You don’t have to commit to hours a day. Even half an hour two or three times a week will make a noticeable difference, as it releases happy hormones in your body. Most exercises also have a meditative aspect.

Improve Your Sleep

Lack of sleep can exacerbate anxiety because it raises levels of cortisol (the stress hormone). Lack of sleep also makes us procrastinate because we’re too tired to deal with them, which can exacerbate anxiety.

Try to go to bed at the same time each night to establish a regular sleep pattern. Avoid caffeine in the evening, and avoid things like work, social media, and dealing with problems later.

Reduce Caffeine and Sugar

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but caffeine and sugar cause stress, which of course exacerbates anxiety.

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Try to find alternative drinks, such as water or herbal tea, especially in the evening. Not only will you feel calmer, but you’ll also sleep better, which adds to the benefits.

Seek Professional Help

If these suggestions don’t help, seek professional help. This help can come in many forms, such as counseling or medication.

Talking helps you process the things that bother you, allowing you to find better solutions. It also allows you to let go of problems because you’re getting them out of your mind instead of bottling up your feelings.

While I’m not a fan of medication, sometimes it’s necessary. And if your anxiety doesn’t go away, it can help.

After my relationship with a narcissist, I finally started taking medication. It helped a lot, giving me some breathing space to calm down and apply other anxiety-reducing techniques.

Conclusion

Anxiety is a normal part of the human experience. But it doesn’t have to control your life.

Try these suggestions and see what works for you. Through your own experiences, you may find other solutions.

If you’re still struggling, seek professional help. Your health and happiness are at stake. And that’s all you have.

Related : Subtle Signs Someone’s A Narcissist

In a relationship with a narcissist, you’re forced to ignore your own needs and focus on the narcissist instead. This leads many to neglect their mental and physical health.

But now you’re free, you can devote more time and effort to your health and well-being. And you absolutely deserve it. Because we should all be our top priorities, despite what the narcissist might tell you.

It’s not selfish to take care of yourself; it’s responsible. Because if you’re not performing at your full potential, you’ll be less helpful to others. So, in the end, everyone suffers. It’s not just you.