Do you have a dark side? Of course, you do. We all do. But none of us ever talk about it because we are afraid of it and ashamed of it. If you’re struggling with managing your dark side, here’s how to get started.

When your dark side takes over

When your dark side is in control, you don’t recognize yourself. The dark side of your psyche triggers thoughts and feelings that make you fearful, yet seductive. It distorts your thoughts and emotions, but it looks good. Perhaps this is why we fear more than our dark side. So we suppress it and hide it away from the world, even our loved ones. But we know deep down, within its confines, that our dark side is silently growing, patiently searching for a way out. And when he does get out, all hell may break loose.

But what is this dark side of our personality? What exactly are we trying so hard to hide? And how can you positively manage your dark side?

What is your dark side?

Your dark side refers to the “your” side that is in the shadow world of your personality. Also known as the shadow self, it includes certain traits and qualities that we prefer to hide and shut down because we feel ashamed of them. We believe that such “black” traits are embarrassing and make us unworthy of the love, respect, and admiration of others. Therefore, we refrain from revealing our dark side.

We associate our dark side with negative thoughts and emotions such as anger, jealousy, selfishness, manipulation, control, and judgment. While we may consciously dislike these feelings and keep them buried deep within us, whether consciously or unconsciously, they are a natural part of us. No matter how much we try to ignore or hide them, they will eventually show up, given the right circumstances. Studies have revealed that suppressing certain thoughts can make intrusive thoughts more intense and persistent. Another study found that “although thought suppression is a common form of mental control, research has indicated that it can be counterproductive, helping to ensure the state of mind one was hoping to avoid.”

When you don’t turn on your dark side, but instead suppress it, it can manifest itself in the most horrific ways. And when the dark side suddenly reveals itself, it can greatly affect the way you think, feel act, and act, leading to loss, distress, anxiety, emotional pain, and unwanted results. However, because the dark side is an intrinsic part of ourselves, we can manage and control it, rather than suppress it. Once we acknowledge and embrace our dark side, rather than keeping it hidden, we can experience contentment, fulfillment, happiness, and even enlightenment.

How to control your dark side

The dark side of your personality is part of your human experience. Here are some effective ways to control and manage your dark side:

Acknowledge your dark side

The first step towards managing your dark side is embracing it. Only when you acknowledge and accept every aspect of your personality can you truly understand who you are. When you understand yourself, you can better connect with your inner self and become enlightened.

You simply cannot get rid of your dark side no matter how hard you try. Instead, you can reveal and confront all aspects of your dark side that you hide. Shine some light on your dark side and try to understand him – what drives him and what does he want? Do you have unfulfilled desires? Are your needs not being met? Do broken dreams cause frustration? Go deep within yourself and find the answers. Instead of being embarrassed and ashamed of your dark thoughts, emotions, and desires, try to understand the pain behind the negativity.

Accept the fact that your mind and personality have a dark or shadowy side that you can’t hide forever. The more you try to suppress it, the deadlier it will be when it explodes. Be honest and true to yourself and have the courage to accept your dark side, unless you want to let your inner demons out. This will allow you to let go of all your negative feelings healthily and manage your dark side positively.

Researchers have found that accepting our mental experiences rather than judging them may lead to “better mental health, in part because acceptance helps them experience less negative emotion in response to stress.”

Know your triggers
Once you begin to accept your dark side, try to figure out what triggers your negative thoughts and emotions. Invest a lot of time thinking about your dark side – why does it arise at specific times? What are the situations that provoke him? Is it caused by certain people or experiences? Try to notice and discover recurring patterns and similarities in experiences that lead to negative thoughts and toxic behaviors in you.

Related: 8 Lies Narcissists Tell

Ask yourself why do you act selfishly in certain scenarios. Are such behaviors the result of insecurities and fears? Do you feel threatened when your romantic partner is interested in someone else? Do you have anxiety that makes you overcautious? Are you highly sensitive or insecure? How do these triggers motivate you to act? Can you react positively to your triggers instead of reacting negatively because of your dark side? Reflecting on these questions will help shed light on your dark side and help you find answers to better manage your reactions to stimuli.

Identifying your triggers will also help you better communicate with your friends, family, and anyone else who may be affected by your negative reactions. Once your loved ones become aware of your triggers, you can better manage your dark side and navigate your relationships.

Practice mindfulness
Accepting your dark side and getting to know your triggers can help you develop better self-awareness, which in turn can lead to enhanced self-control and healing. This can enable you to be more honest and act accordingly. Moreover, it can also help reduce the influence of the external environment, situations, and people on your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and actions. This is the most important step when you want to manage your dark side.

According to researcher and author John D. Kelly, IV, MD, practicing mindfulness can be an effective way to train our minds to identify negative thoughts as they arise and to consciously use healthy coping patterns to navigate difficult situations. He explains that practicing mindfulness, gratitude, and kindness can help us “fight the negative thoughts that bombard our minds throughout the day.” Mindfulness allows us to accept our darker personality traits and “disarm” negative thoughts.

Researcher John D. Kelly suggests that naming your dark side is an excellent way to manage your intrusive thoughts. “It can be helpful to adopt a name for the negative chatter that seems to linger in your mind. For me, I refer to my negative inner dialogue as ‘the voice’ and recognize it for what it is — the thoughts that the collective pain portrayed in my subconscious mind,” he explains.

When you put a name on your dark side, you practice mindfulness, which allows you to focus your attention on the present moment. While mindfulness may require some time and effort, it can help reduce negative thoughts and emotions such as stress, anxiety, and depression and promote positive feelings such as gratitude and contentment.

When you practice mindfulness through meditation, you can develop a calmer and calmer mind, which leads to balanced thoughts. “When we are immersed in the present moment, guilt and anxiety dissipate. Negative emotions lose their hold over us,” he explains in another research paper. Mindfulness allows you to disconnect yourself from the shadows, focus on positive things, and better manage your dark side, urges, desires, thoughts, and feelings. negative.

Ways to manage your dark side

Most of us tend to be afraid of our dark side, so we want to suppress it, eradicate it, forget it, and heal ourselves. But the more we understand our dark side, the more we can realize that our dark side completes us – without it, we would always be incomplete. So instead of trying to get rid of him, you should learn to manage your dark side.

Here are some simple ways to manage and control your inner dark side –

Talk to someone
Talk to a loved one you trust about how you feel about your dark side. They can help you gain a new perspective and take a new approach to life
Practice self-love
Show yourself some love, kindness, and compassion. Be kind to your dark side and deal with it in a loving way, rather than observing it with fear.
See it as a growth opportunity
If you want to manage your dark side, see it as an experience that can teach you valuable lessons about yourself and help you grow and mature. It doesn’t have to be a negative experience.

Don’t be afraid of the dark
When your dark side begins to take over you, stop and breathe. Allow yourself to experience difficult thoughts and feelings that come up and accept the pain rather than rejecting it. Explore painful feelings as part of the healing process rather than trying to suppress them. be brave.
Take it seriously
Don’t worry too much about your dark side and avoid taking it too seriously. See it as just another natural part of you. Owning it, rather than being ashamed of it, will help you manage it better.
Shadow work

What is shadow work? Shadow work is a process that allows you to reveal hidden aspects of yourself in your unconscious mind that remain hidden and repressed. Exploring past traumas or aspects of your personality that you see as undesirable can bring clarity to unmet thoughts and needs and aid in personal development. This is one of the best ways to manage your dark side as anyone can do shadow work on their own.

See a therapist
Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you address your dark side. A mental health professional can help you deal with hurtful or traumatic experiences from your past. Various therapy techniques are highly effective in managing negative thoughts and emotions in multiple studies.

The importance of understanding your dark side

What happens when you don’t understand, accept and manage your dark side? When you suppress your dark thoughts, emotions, and impulses instead of tactfully dealing with them, it can distort and distort your mindset and personality leading to various personality disorders, mental health issues, and addictions. Rather, it can destroy your relationships with loved ones, your social reputation, and your career.

Researchers have suggested that suppressing negative thoughts and desires can lead to psychopathology. Thought suppression can lead to generalized anxiety disorder, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and specific phobias.

This perhaps explains the classic case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, in which the dark side of Dr. Henry Jekyll emerges as a distinct figure of the violent Mr. Edward Hyde. While most of us wouldn’t necessarily split into two different personalities, Robert Louis Stevenson’s bizarre case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is the perfect metaphor for explaining the difficulties in suppressing our dark side. So maybe this is why we are so afraid of our dark side.

However, researchers have pointed out that suppressing our thoughts is not the right way to deal with our dark side or to take control of our life. You have to learn how to effectively manage your dark side so that you can reach your fullest potential without unleashing your inner Mr. Hyde.

Embrace your dark side

While you may see your shadow self as something to be afraid of, there is no denying that it is a version of you that is not separate from your inner self. Your dark side makes you human — a somewhat flawed, imperfect human being who makes mistakes, learns from them and grows to be a better version of themselves.

While our dark side makes us vulnerable, it also allows us to improve ourselves. You can manage your dark side simply by accepting it, looking forward to developing a positive mindset, and living with good intentions. When done right, most of us can build happier lives and healthier relationships. Yes, we may fall sometimes, but we will rise stronger each time.