How can you love a narcissist without losing yourself? Is it really possible to have a successful narcissistic relationship?
You may wonder if there is any hope for a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder. As an empath, you may be afraid of losing yourself in your relationship with a narcissist. Maybe you feel used or taken for granted by a narcissistic partner who doesn’t take you at all.
Somehow, you came to believe that everything was your fault, and you doubted your sense of self. It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re defeated in a narcissistic relationship, especially if you stand up for yourself. Unfortunately, this can make you feel worse and hurt you more.
In order to understand whether you can hold it together in a relationship with a narcissist, you need to realize what a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) really looks like.
After being lured into a relationship with a narcissist, you may have realized that the person he is is not who he portrayed himself to be. Once you experience narcissistic rage, devaluation, infidelity, and rejection, you realize things are very different.
Once the narcissist draws his or her partner into the relationship, the real problems begin to arise when the partner reveals what is behind the false facade.
When a partner stops reflecting their greatness or perfection, the narcissist feels deflated, because they depend on their partner for approval in order to maintain their fragile self-esteem. The narcissist mistakenly believes that his or her partner causes him or her to feel incompetent or empty. So they project their feelings onto their partner and find that things are wrong with them.
Gaslighting is one way to make a partner feel wrong about their perception of reality. The narcissist protects his false arrogant self by projecting his flaws onto his partner.
The partner is seen as an “extension” of the narcissist; A reflection of their self-esteem. This means they think you must be perfect.
Narcissists expect a lot in a relationship, and this may make you feel like you don’t live up to their standards. The narcissist may pressure his wife to be perfect or do things his way. A relationship with a narcissist becomes about meeting his expectations in order to please them.
They will expect their partner to reflect how perfect they are by liking them or doing the things they want of them. So their partner often feels pressure to live up to their expectations to make them feel special. Otherwise, the narcissist feels empty or incompetent when others do not prioritize him or her.
It may feel like walking on eggshells since you’re fearful to say anything that ruptures the narcissist’s fragile ego. This leaves you feeling like you must be attuned to their needs and feelings all the time.
Related: 9 Tips For Dealing With Your Crazy, Narcissist Ex
Those who are in a relationship with a narcissist tend to have all their needs met. Many people end up losing themselves in the relationship or giving too much in order to get their needs met.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist means you risk getting hurt. They pick themselves up by having relationships or engaging in addiction. They cut off emotions or lash out at you, unable to take responsibility for their problems.
They cannot handle criticism or exposure of imperfection, so they devalue those who expose them. When others are confronted with their mistakes, they feel the need to prove them wrong in order to win.
Dealing with a narcissist can be devastating over time. The partner questions or doubts himself, often backing down or giving up his ideas and opinions. Narcissists cover up the wrong things they do to avoid judgment, shame, or humiliation.
