Anyone who’s been in a relationship with a narcissist knows that their love is cyclical. One day, they’re flirting with you, buying you expensive gifts, and saying they’ve never felt this way before.

Soon after, they’re criticizing the way you dress and talk, making you question your sanity. Then, they get bored, leave, and make you feel like you never mattered in the first place—that is, until they need an ego boost and come running back.

But what if you’re in control? What if you can get them back into the relationship on your terms?

So how do you make a narcissist miss you? It’s not hard at all. Ignore them, and they’ll do anything they can to get your attention; narcissists thrive on attention and admiration, so pretending to be hard to get is one of the best strategies for getting them back.

CanANarcissistReallyMissYou?

Narcissists are often labeled as emotionless (albeit selfish) robots, but they’re actually very sensitive.

They are so sensitive and emotional that they don’t have much capacity to relate to anyone else. It’s not that they’re incapable of empathy; they simply don’t have the space to feel anyone else’s feelings when they’re focused on themselves.

Can a self-centered person really miss you? The answer is yes and no. Every relationship is about meeting an emotional need, and this is true even in healthy relationships.

So yes, narcissists can miss you in the sense that they feel bad when an emotional need is not met when you are not around and therefore want you back in their life. They need someone to boost their ego and make them feel good about themselves.

The answer can also be no, as a true narcissist doesn’t really miss you as a person; they miss how you made them feel. You were a source of narcissistic supply and provided them with positive emotions.

Related : Can A Narcissist Be Faithful In A Relationship?

They miss having someone around that they can control and draw that supply from whenever they need it. However, you can always be replaced by someone else who makes them feel the same way.

How to Make a Narcissist Miss You?

If you’ve never been in a relationship with a narcissist, it can be a bit confusing to know why you want them back after a breakup. However, many survivors of these relationships feel confused and helpless after being let go.

Knowing how to get a narcissist back after being dumped can be a way to restore your self-esteem, even if the relationship was ultimately doomed. So how do you make a narcissist regret losing you?

StartThinkingLikeThem

The first step to making a narcissist miss you is to think like the narcissist. What did he like most about you, and what would he have trouble finding in a new romantic partner? If you’re wondering what a narcissist regrets most, it’s losing his source of supply.

Chances are, your partner didn’t see you as a person. But do narcissists miss their old supply? Sure! Think about the times when they needed their supply the most—what kind of ego boosters they had, and the things that made them feel negative about themselves?

Think about the times when you were indispensable as an ego booster. Use that to your advantage and then distribute the supply in small doses.

LetThemEndTheRelationship

You may think that a narcissist is already doing this when they criticize you, deceive you, and generally make you miserable.

If you’re like most people, you blame them for their negative behaviors and let them know how much they’ve hurt you. This is the wrong strategy against narcissists—they will always win these kinds of arguments because they don’t care about your feelings.

Instead, when a narcissist tells you how worthless you are or plays the victim by listing all the wrongs you’ve done to them, just let them do it.

Agree with their criticism and say you don’t deserve them. End the argument by agreeing to it, which gives you the opportunity to initiate the breakup. If he’s appalled that you’ve done something like this, remind him of how awful what he just said about you was.

GetHimOpen

Remember that narcissists are not emotionless robots; they simply don’t know how to express their feelings and fears in a healthy way. Surprisingly, narcissists have the same desire for emotional intimacy as anyone else, but they’re just not very good at achieving it.

Narcissists are so afraid of being exposed as weak, scared, or anything less than perfect—you know, the stuff everyone goes through from time to time—that they isolate themselves to make sure no one gets too close to them.

This is why narcissists lead to superficial relationships based on money, status, or sex. Anything more complicated can seem like their downfall.

However, you can get to some narcissists, provided you have the time and willpower. Once you break through their defenses and let them open up, they will be yours, at least for a while.

Remind them of what was good about your relationship

Narcissists are always looking for a better deal – more money, a more attractive partner, someone who can improve their social standing.

They are quick to forget what made them happy in their previous relationships, instead focusing on what went wrong in them and how there could be a more attractive option out there.

To get a narcissist to come back to you, help them remember all the things you did for them. To save face and not look like a fool for ignoring you, they will likely point out your flaws and everything you did wrong in the relationship.

However, by planting seeds of doubt about their decision to walk away, you will have gotten into their heads and they will soon be obsessed with you again.

NoContact

If you’re wondering how to make a narcissist regret losing you, the simplest way is to stop communicating with them. Even when a narcissist abandons you, they leave a line of communication open so they can reach out to you whenever they need a dose of narcissistic supply.

No communication lets the narcissist know that they’re not important to you, that your emotions aren’t tied to their whims, and that you’re not interested in continuing this relationship at some point in the future.

Unfortunately, some people can’t follow the no-contact principle. If you have to co-parent with a narcissist, communicate only about what’s essential to your child’s health and well-being. Then, when the narcissist inevitably turns the conversation toward themselves and how they’re doing after the breakup, gently redirect them back to basic parenting topics.

Does a Narcissist Miss You After No Contact?

This break is bound to be temporary if you’re hoping to get back with the narcissist. It’s a break that will give them time to clear their mind and reflect on how much you mean to them.

Again, don’t take this as them seeing how valuable you really are as a person, but how valuable you are to them; the narcissist is always thinking about how they can use you.

How to make a narcissist chase you?

After dumping someone, many narcissists will leave you alone for a while. Not only do they want you to feel worthless and unworthy of your time, they may also be looking for better romantic prospects. The key to making a narcissist chase you is to show them what they’re missing.

You need to remind them how valuable you are to their life. Narcissists will only treat you with kindness and respect when they think they might be losing something valuable to them. They need to know that your presence in their life is conditional on their behavior.

Another option is to recreate the excitement that existed in the early stages of the relationship. The narcissist was over the moon because they finally found someone who filled all their psychological voids.

You want them to feel the same way again, when they were bombarding you with love and still intrigued by a new romance. Always keep in mind why the narcissist left. Love has a time limit, and they reach their limit whenever those feelings of excitement run out.

Pamper Yourself by Changing Your Appearance

There is nothing more important to a narcissist than their personal appearance; This applies to both male and female narcissists.

So if you’re wondering how to make a narcissist regret losing you, start putting more effort into your appearance. Seeing yourself looking good or changing your appearance will signal that you’re feeling confident after the breakup. This fact alone will make them angry, because they want to control your self-esteem.

In addition, narcissists want to be seen with attractive people because they believe it makes them look attractive and high-status.

BeThePersonYouWantToBe

Physical appearance isn’t everything, even if it’s a huge draw for narcissists. Focusing on yourself is a great way to break free from the shackles of a narcissistic relationship and see who you can truly be.

If you’ve been interested in something but haven’t pursued it: a career change, traveling the world, or just some kind of hobby, now is the time to make it happen. The narcissist will notice your newfound ambition and be incredibly attracted to it.

Related : Why Do Narcissists Ignore You?

Make Them Talk About Themselves

Everyone loves to talk about themselves and it feels good when the person you care about hangs on your every word.

Narcissists take this to the extreme by taking over and redirecting the conversation whenever you stray from their praise. Ask the narcissist questions about their successes or anything that will boost their ego and don’t blame them if the answers seem exaggerated or downright false.

This can be difficult with narcissists who have dumped you, because you’re probably well aware of their flaws.

Don’t Act Like You Like Them Too Much

This seems the opposite of the last point, but when done right, it’s a surefire way to get the narcissist to come running back to you. You want to get them to keep talking about themselves, but don’t interrupt them or follow up their statements with any kind of compliment or sign of admiration.

They’ll keep trying as long as you’re willing to listen. The longer you keep this up, the more interested they’ll be. Make the narcissist beg for your approval.

Make Yourself Look Like You’re Unreachable

Nothing turns a narcissist on like the chase, and the chase is usually more exciting than the actual relationship. If you’re trying to figure out how to get a narcissist to come crawling back to you, being unavailable is a surefire way to go.

If the narcissist tries to make plans to see you, say you’re busy and offer a non-committal answer about when you might meet up.

How to Recover from a Narcissistic Relationship

Ending months or even years of narcissistic abuse can take a toll on your psyche. It’s hard to remember what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t play mind games with you constantly.

Related : Do Narcissists Like Spending Time Alone?

After dumping someone, you may make rash decisions, hoping to make them jealous and regret losing you. If they chase you, you feel like you’ve beaten them at their own game. Unfortunately, you’re playing into their hands.

Getting rid of a narcissist is usually temporary; they often come back, which isn’t positive even if you’re in control.

The relationship will always be toxic and a waste of your time and emotional resources when you could be with someone who will love you and treat you as more than just a supply.